To think that school proms are just American imported nonsense, and not to see the point?

[EmeraldThief]

When I left school in 1998 we had a leavers disco on the last afternoon in the school hall. Music was supplied by one of the teachers on a CD player, food was sandwiches and crips on paper plates and we wore our uniforms. I don't remember if we had photos taken, but if we did they'd have been on a disposable camera!

So I missed the whole "prom" thing by a few years or so, and I have to say that I'm glad because I just don't get. Several hundred quid on a dress that's only going to be worn once? What about parents on a tight budget? Then there's the fake tan, professional make up, transport, photos etc. Once again, ok if your not on a tight budget? What about kids who've had a bad time at school and just want to leave and forget about it? The whole thing feels fake and so un British to me, I'm amazed they've taken off over here actually.

AIBU to think that they should have stayed in America along with Baby showers, Bridal Showers and these silly pre school graduation ceremonies? We'll be celebrating the 4th July next ffs.

I think it is a lovely thing for them to do. It's given my DD2 something to get excited about now her GCSEs are over. Hers at the school, not somewhere fancy, and the teachers are doing a comedy revue for their entertainment. Her dress was £15 off ebay, and she looks stunning in it, even if I do say so myself . I can't wait to see her and her friends all dressed up together. they aren't bothering with limos or fake tans or anything like that. They just want to dress up and have fun, (then go mad at the after prom party). Lots of them have gone for the vintage look for dresses and bags. The only thing we are splashing out on is getting her hair done, so in total the whole outfit with hair comes to about £70. Not too bad. They weren't very impressed with the girl in their year who cried when her parents refused to fork out £400 for a designer dress.

Working in a school where 90% of the children live in what is classed as poverty and we have to supply them with shoes because their parents generally don't give a shit, seeing them all dressed up for one night where their allowed to say goodbye to their friends and reward them for working so hard.

Some kids will never get another night like that, so yes IMO yabu!!

You know reading about customs in different countries has made me think - isn't a Prom just another type of debutante style thing? Being a Deb meant leaving one part of your life behind and moving on into another. That's what they're doing surely. If that's the case it's been going on over here for centuries and something the Americans nicked off us !

Graduating from an American high school is a ritual of which the prom forms a small part. Certainly my school in the UK did sweet FA when I left. There was virtually no celebration, no rite of passage,etc. I don't personally see what's wrong with the U.S. version. A lot of schools over there have very strict no alcohol policy with their proms and organise after parties to keep the kids under control when it ends at 1030 or 11pm. I think in the UK it's more of a drinking binge.

idont i googled that too but my dinner was nearly burningready so didnt post

Great minds mrsjayy

If you guys hate proms you would really loathe quinceaneras.

My son went to his prom this week. Supervised by teachers, no alcohol, a lovely suit great value from matalan which will do very well for interviews etc. tickets were heavily discounted if you achieved expected grades in mocks.

Everyone looked fantastic, the pictures are fab! They had a great night.

No-one that I know spent a fortune and even if they did who cares?

It's fun - the teens enjoy it, exactly as life should be at 16 yrs old!

It would be interesting to find out how many British customs are adopted in the US.

britishisms.wordpress.com/ ?

do boys enjoy proms?

Question for American MNers - for proms in the US is it still as shown on films and TV where you have to go in couples? I always used to think that sounded cringingly stressful for anyone not in a relationship and completely unnecessary - why not just rock up with your mates?

The pictures dd showed me the boys seemed to be having fun and enjoying themselves

Dd went in a mixed group she didnt have a date only couple in their crowd were going out anyway

My ds enjoyed both his, he preferred the 6th form as he could take his gf who didnt go to the school, but very much enjoyed pepping for the yr 11

The origin of American proms dates (1894) back to about the same time as origin of British proms (1895). There must have been a lot of cross cultural contamination even then for both to be born at same time.

Primary proms with limos? Are they being held on Tacky St in Tackytown? Yuck.

Marrog I think in many places, people do go to prom in groups as opposed to dates.

Also add to the British customs in the US the common law. Every state in the US except for Louisiana is a common law jurisdiction and English cases can be used as authority in US court cases based on common law.

At that point (and even earlier) there were a lot of rich Americans marrying their children into British aristocracy, women like Jenny Jerome marrying into the Churchill family would have had a huge influence on the culture of the time but they would have had to fit in with our customs as well.

I think it's peaked, tbh.

I've been teaching at a secondary school for 16 years. The prom used to be HUGE. The merest hint of a revoked prom ticket worked on recalcitrant KS4 students like a crucifix on a vampire from about Christmas of year 10.

Recent years, it's all ebay frocks (you can get something very glam for £25 - OK it'll fall apart the second time you wash it, but they look fab on the night), it's cooler to turn up on your skateboard/dad's tractor than in a limo, & there's always at least two unofficial rival events. Increasingly kids are showing their faces politely for a couple of hours & then buggering off to the far more fun after party.

It's like New Year's Eve parties...just before the millennium, you'd spend £££s on a babysitter, pay to get into so much as a local pub, & it was social death not to be out on the lash. Then after Y2K everyone realised it had all GONE TOO FAR & turned into a rip-off naff-fest.

These things have a natural 'boom & bust' lifespan.

In my day (I left 6th form in 1991), we had a Leavers Party or maybe it was called a Ball, which was basically a Prom. A meal and a dance. Posh frocks (my Mum made mine which was a boned affair) and hairdresser did my hair. It was a comp in a dodgy new town. We also had one after GCSE's.

Nothing new about Proms, just the name of it.

do boys enjoy proms?

My son loved his. DH and I had a good time getting him ready, too. The custom is to go out to dinner first in a nice restaurant. DS has dyslexia and his reading skills were not very good then so DH got the menu from the restaurant; they studied it together and then we practiced him taking his date (with me playing the date) to dinner at the actual restaurant. It's a sweet memory.

DD had her prom a few days ago. This was the GCSE prom. I did buy her new clothes for it, but not a sparkly frilled and furbelowed thing. She didn't have her hair or make up done, or nails.

I was thinking about the one and only school disco we had, I never heard of another so I think it started and ended with my year, when we were 15. It took place in the school hall, with most of the curtains closed, at 2pm on a school day, and the nuns lining the walls. We were not allowed to bring guests. It was for our year only. It was a girls school and we were all in uniform but had been allowed to do hair and make up in lunch break in the school loos. Most of us stood about awkwardly, while the Top 40 was played and the nuns occasionally made whooshing signs to try to get us to dance. It was dire.

Our school had a year 11 disco. I didn't go because I couldn't stand the school or anyone in it.
On the other hand my son has his prom tomorrow. He's excited, his friends are excited and they've worked bloody hard these past few months with exams, peer pressures and in my sons case, home pressures and even a peer suicide.
Let them have this one and be happy for them eh? Life gets serious enough once they leave school.

My dd is a secondary school teacher and has just been to Yr11 prom. She has a VW camper van (70s) and some of the boys in her form asked if she would take them as it was 'cooler' than a limo!
She agreed of course, her dh acted as chauffeur and a great time was had by all.

My dss enjoyed their proms and my
Youngest dd had hers last week. It was great fun. The kids were well behaved,looked fantastic and had. Great time with their teachers.

What's the harm? Don't be so bloody miserable.