To think that school proms are just American imported nonsense, and not to see the point?

[EmeraldThief]

When I left school in 1998 we had a leavers disco on the last afternoon in the school hall. Music was supplied by one of the teachers on a CD player, food was sandwiches and crips on paper plates and we wore our uniforms. I don't remember if we had photos taken, but if we did they'd have been on a disposable camera!

So I missed the whole "prom" thing by a few years or so, and I have to say that I'm glad because I just don't get. Several hundred quid on a dress that's only going to be worn once? What about parents on a tight budget? Then there's the fake tan, professional make up, transport, photos etc. Once again, ok if your not on a tight budget? What about kids who've had a bad time at school and just want to leave and forget about it? The whole thing feels fake and so un British to me, I'm amazed they've taken off over here actually.

AIBU to think that they should have stayed in America along with Baby showers, Bridal Showers and these silly pre school graduation ceremonies? We'll be celebrating the 4th July next ffs.

Our school always had a black tie leavers ball
This has not changed or morphed into a prom

My DS went to his prom tonight . Now I'm a card carrying cynic , none of the older DC's went , and I've always been vaguely derogatory about such things , thinking its all a to do for nothing , but you know what, I went to drop him off as he was meeting his girlfriend there , and I thought it was bloody great . Yes , the stretch limo was there , and the seriously expensive dresses, but the couple that got the biggest cheer of the night came on the back of a flower decorated farm trailer , which had been adapted for the girl's wheelchair . According to some people in the crowd, her family have been in some financial problems , so her mates did a collection and got her a beautiful dress off ebay , the local beauty salon is owned by a pta mum, and they did all her hair and nails and make up for free , and someone else donated some shoes . And the boyfriends dad cajoled his bosses into lending him the tractor . Not a dry eye in the house .

A prom involves a formal dinner and eveningwear. There can be dancing after the dinner.

The high school my DCs attended (very mixed income and mixed interest in conspicuous spending of money too) has a stock of dresses and suits both for prom and graduation (where the dress code is white dress or trouser suit for students identifying as female and black suit with red tie for those identifying as male.) Nobody would ever know if someone wore a school dress and frankly nobody would care either. The formalwear is donated and the school does a drive and a cull annually so nobody has to choose out of date dresses.

It really does cost what you want it to cost on top of the ticket price. Dresses can be bought very cheaply, suits hired or borrowed. Same goes for shoes. DD2's friend found a lovely dress at Goodwill (second hand shop) for $6.99. For DD1's white graduation dress I went to Burlington Coat Factory (a discount department store) and spent $16.99. I made DD2's pillow case-style graduation dress.

Both DDs who have gone to prom so far have worn their dresses again at balls and parties in university, and DD1 wore her graduation dress many times as it was a sort of sundress style. She dyed it navy and as far as I know it is still going strong.

CLMP, all of my DCs had a kindergarten graduation event where they wore their own little mortarboards that they had made themselves in class, and the teacher gave them a little rolled up certificate with their own name signed twice -- one signature from their first day of school and one from their last week, plus a hand print and their official school photo from photo day, all laminated for posterity. They had a little party with lemonade and cookies. They were all extremely proud of themselves as they left the building, and parents took photos. Many of the photos featured in the 8th grade graduation slideshow eight years later. I found it all very charming, and it compared very well with the joyless and unmarked transitions that I experienced in primary school.

Plus, introducing children to the idea that leaving school involves wearing a mortarboard is never a bad idea, imo. It's never too early to plant the seed of ambition to go to university.

DS1 avoided his prom like the plague recently. He hated school and wants no more to do with it now he doesn't have to. I dodged a bullet financially maybe but I wish he was NT and had friends and wanted to go.

Lovely stories here, Plomino and Math.

I don't think they are anything new??? When I was at school they were called 'formals' and they were a black tie/evening dress do with a sit down formal meal with a disco afterwards. All state and private schools had and still have them. I'm in my 30s and my older siblings also had them. Not an American import here.