To think that school proms are just American imported nonsense, and not to see the point?

[EmeraldThief]

When I left school in 1998 we had a leavers disco on the last afternoon in the school hall. Music was supplied by one of the teachers on a CD player, food was sandwiches and crips on paper plates and we wore our uniforms. I don't remember if we had photos taken, but if we did they'd have been on a disposable camera!

So I missed the whole "prom" thing by a few years or so, and I have to say that I'm glad because I just don't get. Several hundred quid on a dress that's only going to be worn once? What about parents on a tight budget? Then there's the fake tan, professional make up, transport, photos etc. Once again, ok if your not on a tight budget? What about kids who've had a bad time at school and just want to leave and forget about it? The whole thing feels fake and so un British to me, I'm amazed they've taken off over here actually.

AIBU to think that they should have stayed in America along with Baby showers, Bridal Showers and these silly pre school graduation ceremonies? We'll be celebrating the 4th July next ffs.

An end of term leavers party is just that a party a school is supposed to be a community and that particular part of the community is leaving to go on to do whatever what is so wrong with having a party with their friends and peers these kids have spent weeks doing exams months leading up to exams probably had their assembly so school is officaly done a party with a frock or a suit is for them not us and they can chose to go or not. Celebrating and having fun isnt vanity imo

Agree DoJo

Things change from generation to generation.

YANBU to think that - you can think what you like.
YABU to believe that most ordinary people spend hundreds on their clothes, that everone has fake tans, that everyone has their hair done professionally, and that everyone arrives in some kind of hired transport.
Like most things - they find the ridiculous to report in the press, not the ordinary, everyday things that most people do.

I don't have a problem with all of Yr11 going out for a formal meal and a dance - call it what you will, that's what it is.

Like we always end up saying on the wedding threads - you don't have to go if you don't want to. dd is just finishing Yr11, and she didn't want to go, so hasn't - along with quite a lot of her friends from what I can gather.

BTW the after parties are a notorious part of secondary proms around here, I'm surprised they haven't been mentioned yet.

EmeraldThief you are so right about the American things creeping into our culture.

I raised exactly the same point on a thread about baby showers and was promptly flamed for being a killjoy.

It would be interesting to find out how many British customs are adopted in the US.

Both my DDs said the buying the dress ( both in sales, cost minimal) and getting ready ( mine are very fair , would look ridiculous in fake tan , did their own nails and make up , the most expensive thing was having their hair done ) and the limo ( shared cost about £10 I think ) were the best things about their prom . the mum who organised the limo offers drinks and nibbles to parent's ' dropping off' And we all took pics then . Was fun
My DH also took some 'posed' black and white formal shots of them which are a lovely memento

You make it sound as though government agencies are forcing American customs on an unwilling public. A baby shower sounds like the dullest thing in the world to me but if people want to do it where's the harm?

I believe christmas is huge in America

DDs school is having a year 6 prom, it's basically a buffet and a disco, it finishes at 4pm.

DD will be wearing a new dress, a sale purchase which cost £12, which she'll get lots of wear out of. She'll need new shoes but they'll be summer sandals which she needs anyway or she might even borrow a pair of my shoes.

Other parents are buying dresses at £50+ proper long evening dresses for an afternoon event in the school hall, with matching shoes and bags.

Most of us are being sensible though.

I had a leavers disco.
My parents had bog all.

Things change.

YABU and a bit of a kill joy.

It would be interesting to find out how many British customs are adopted in the US.

Like all the things their British ancestors took over with them?

We had a Sixth Form Leavers' Ball in 1991 and they'd been going on for years before then. Ball / evening dresses, black tie, dinner and dancing at a hotel.

School was a comp btw and this wasn't a massively expensive event, everyone went.

So isn't it only the name that's changed?

I don't think it s so bad for lads. DS got a deal on a suit from Greenwods. He could pick what style and colour suit, shirt, tie and shies for about £150 quid. The suit as been used for his prom , my sisters wedding, my grandad's funeral, job interviews etc!

It cost a tenner for his haircut and about. Twenty quid for his share of the limo.

You make it sound as though government agencies are forcing American customs on an unwilling public.

Exactly! No-one has to do it.

It's like Halloween. There was no mention of Halloween when I was young. Now all October is bombarded with it. I'm never too sure what I'm supposed to do about Halloween, I gamely make the soup and put out pumpkins etc, but my dc like it. Good for them if they enjoy it. Just because it wasn't about in my childhood, I'm not going to rigidly dismiss it.

Oooh, is it American bashing hour again?

There's a sad face in the paper every year of someone excluded from their prom on conduct or truancy grounds - here's this year's (not DM).

In 1999 we had a proper leavers' ball with marquees and dodgems and everything. I still remember how alive it made me feel. IIRC it was the same week as my last exam so it was a real let-out from the stress.

That said, I've been lurking on the "true poverty" thread and even £100 on a basic prom experience is a pipe dream for many, in a way that a £10 disco isn't. The classic US school prom might have rituals about clothing and corsages but they are still basically a disco in the school gym, albeit with lots of decoration. I do think schools should think more about keeping leavers' events within the reach of all their pupils, even if that involves some PTA money finding its way to Primark.

I know of several July 4th bashes going on over here I'm going to one
A prom is as expensive and silly as you make it - nobody has to spend hundreds of pounds on a dress or limo and it's not actually about the parents at the end of the day, just the kids.
There are much worse things that could be imported from other countries than a party for school leavers...

In the nineties most people I knew hired a dress for their prom, although that probably isn't as popular these days.

I don't think it's American bashing really. It just so happens that American culture is having a big influence on other countries, I guess because of the prevalence of American films, TV shows and books etc. It's not really the fault of Americans, but I do understand why there is some resistance to adopting another country's culture, as some people are worried that our own cultural traditions will be erased until the world is full of mini-Americas. American culture is not evil, but cultural differences are fun and interesting and it would be sad if we all ended up as one homogenous mass with slightly different accents.

It would be interesting to find out how many British customs are adopted in the US.

You mean, like the language? (close call about whether to speak German instead)
Anglicism, Presbyterianism, Methodism, Baptist faith
Habeas Corpus
studying William Shakespeare
Ideas of Thomas Paine
saying 'Brilliant' about things you like
James Bond films
Downton Abbey
John Lennon, Anthony Hopkins, Sean Connery, Hugh Laurie
Crazy fandom about The Beatles/Rolling Stones/Led Zeppelin/Kate Bush/The Police/Oasis/Coldplay...

It's my DD's prom tonight - I'm heading over to her friend's house soon to wave them off. She's leaving this school to go somewhere else for sixth form so the beautiful, elegant young lady will be a snotty mess at the end of the evening.

She has worked hard during her GCSEs and has overcome some very difficult health issues at the same time.

I definitely don't begrudge her the opportunity to get dressed up and celebrate - I'm green with envy and wish I was there too. My school leavers dance was similar to DrElizabeth's - 60 girls, two aged nuns and my Physics teacher manning the disco. I think I was home and in my PJs by 10:30.

totally agree OP, load of old 'showy' bollocks

I would have loved a Prom when I left school - instead we got a boiling hot school hall, crap music and a bag of crisps and a drink.
There are always beautiful pictures of the school proms in the local paper and a lovely flurry of FB pictures. My cousin has his tonight, he hasn't scrubbed up that well since his christening

There is such a difference from my school experience that I need a guide (left school in 84) and it feels the world constantly has it's hand in my purse - gifts for teachers, anyone? Not in my day!

I don't care what they call the leavers do, I do object to the escalation in cost.

It would be interesting to find out how many British customs are adopted in the US.

Adding to the list above, all the place names. New England, anyone? New York, anyone? I grew up in a state named for a British king and my grandfather came from a state named for another British king.