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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that school proms are just American imported nonsense, and not to see the point?

206 replies

EmeraldThief · 02/07/2015 14:41

When I left school in 1998 we had a leavers disco on the last afternoon in the school hall. Music was supplied by one of the teachers on a CD player, food was sandwiches and crips on paper plates and we wore our uniforms. I don't remember if we had photos taken, but if we did they'd have been on a disposable camera!

So I missed the whole "prom" thing by a few years or so, and I have to say that I'm glad because I just don't get. Several hundred quid on a dress that's only going to be worn once? What about parents on a tight budget? Then there's the fake tan, professional make up, transport, photos etc. Once again, ok if your not on a tight budget? What about kids who've had a bad time at school and just want to leave and forget about it? The whole thing feels fake and so un British to me, I'm amazed they've taken off over here actually.

AIBU to think that they should have stayed in America along with Baby showers, Bridal Showers and these silly pre school graduation ceremonies? We'll be celebrating the 4th July next ffs.

OP posts:
eckythumpenallthat · 02/07/2015 15:51

I left school in 2001 and we had a leavers meal/disco in a function room that does weddings etc near our school. The whole prom thing was slowly creeping in. Not the dress but more about how you were arriving. It was all about the limo.

I didn't go and don't regret it for one second! But bar the expense I'm looking forward (with slight worry about what it will have escalated to by 2028!) to seeing dd get all excited about ever leavers bash/prom and going outfit shopping with her etc

Mrsfrumble · 02/07/2015 15:55

I don't remember anything happening when I finished my GCSEs. At the end of 6th form we organized all meeting up in a local sticky-floored, £1-a-pint indie club. No ball gowns, just lots of converse trainers and band tshirts. Ahhh, the 1990s!

As long as the UK hasn't imported the "Prom King and Queen" horseshit yet. Because watching Carrie should have ruined that for most people...

Fallout4 · 02/07/2015 15:55

I left school in 1994 (in Surrey) and we had a prom. In fact my friends sister had a prom at our school about 4 years before us so it must have started around 1990 at least. It was brilliant and I still have the pictures and very fond memories. I wore a gown as did all the girls and we all turned up in gorgeous cars. I arrived in a brand new Porsche thanks to my dear old Dad. Great times.

zukiecat · 02/07/2015 16:00

Here in Aberdeen my DDs had two proms each, one at 17, at the end if fifth year and one at 18 at the end of sixth year.

I am on a very tight budget, DD1 wore a £35 dress from Very for her first one, her hair cost about £20, she did her own make up and we've never been into spray tans, the cost of the limo was shared among friends so all in all the total cost for the whole thing was about £75, most of which DD1 paid for herself from her part time wages.

The costs for her next prom and for DD2's two proms were very similar.

It isn't necessary to spend hundreds of pounds on proms, you don't need the huge dress, spray tans etc. It is doable on an extremely tight budget (some weeks I don't have the price of a newspaper or pint of milk in my purse)

Both DDs had a great time at their four proms, for them it was all about celebrating with their friends, and less about fancy dresses and suchlike.

FraggleHair · 02/07/2015 16:01

As Canyouforgiveher said they've been a thing in Ireland for decades, except they're known as a 'debs' (from 'debutante ball' I presume) rather than a prom.

I agree re. the American bashing that some MNers seems to enjoy, it's lazy and tiresome.

Hygellig · 02/07/2015 16:01

I'm inclined to agree at the moment although whether I'll feel differently when mine get to year 11 I don't know.

We had some kind of minor leavers' do one afternoon before going on study leave but I don't remember it very well. I didn't really feel like a leaver as I was coming back that September do do A-levels. I would probably have hated the idea of a prom but others in my year might have loved it. At the moment it seems like American-imported expense.

Salmotrutta · 02/07/2015 16:02

We all went out for a meal and a drink when I left secondary school.

Now that has gradually turned into the Final Fling Leavers Dance for S6 (Scotland) over the years and it's lovely to see them all dressed up.
Most secondary schools up here have been doing that for quite a while. They don't call it a "prom" thank god.

Absolutely don't believe in all this primary school nonsense mind you. Totally ridiculous.

FraggleHair · 02/07/2015 16:03

Primary school proms do seem weird I'll grant you!

PerspicaciaTick · 02/07/2015 16:06

My secondary school told each of us (as we stepped out of our last O level exam) to leave immediately and never darken their doors again.

Mrsjayy · 02/07/2015 16:06

Yabu both my dds loved theirs a chance to dress up and have an evening with their friends we dont do them till 6th year so the kids are 17/18 its fun leavers disco in the afternoon sounds dull so what if its been imported there is nothing wrong with America and the teenagers are not forced to go.

MorvahRising · 02/07/2015 16:06

I was very meh about the prom when it was DS's year last year. But as several people have already said, when it came to the evening, seeing them all dressed up rather brought a lump to the throat, very much to my surprise. DS wore black tie for the first time and looked fantastic. It wasn't an over the top prom, local hotel, no alcohol; DS, who is not a party animal, had a brilliant evening.

The car parade was great fun. The biggest cheer was for a boy who pedalled up on a toddler's tricycle with great aplomb, waving merrily to the assembled crowd.

Salmotrutta · 02/07/2015 16:06

zukiecat - I irritated to hear the (by now) fairly traditional Final Fling is being known as a Prom up in Aberdeen.

I really hope that's not happening all over Scotland - it's almost as bad as Trick or Treat replacing "Guising" on Halloween

zukiecat · 02/07/2015 16:10

I agree about "guisin" Salmotrutta but I've never heard of the prom being called anything other than "prom"

Never heard of the Final Fling!

Mrsjayy · 02/07/2015 16:11

Its lovely seeing them off our school hire a coach and seeing all these young men and women all done up gives you a lump in your throat and the dresses you honestly dont know who spent what because they all looked fab.

Mrsfrumble · 02/07/2015 16:12

DS will have a preschool "graduation ceremony" when he finishes pre-k next year. I've gone from thinking it's a daft idea to appreciating that it's rather sweet. Plenty of the children will have been at the school (combined nursery and preschool) since they were 6 months old. It's a small place so all the parents and staff know each other and each other's children well, and the children will be going off to different school districts for kindergarten. We'll be leaving the U.S. to return to the UK so will probably never see of the staff, children or other parents again, so it will be nice to have special occasion to mark the end of DS's American school experience.

Original poster
EmeraldThief · 02/07/2015 16:13

Primary Proms are not a thing around here, yet. Give it time though...

What was wrong with the old leavers assembly/concert?

OP posts:
SuffolkNWhat · 02/07/2015 16:14

I left school (GCSE year) in 1998 and we had a prom. It was a really big thing as we were at an all girls school so inviting boys was a very big deal!

Mrsjayy · 02/07/2015 16:15

Our school had a leavers awards doodah to

OurDearLeader · 02/07/2015 16:15

It's waaaaay over the top. But school discos were crap. A nice balance between the two would be good.

Mrsjayy · 02/07/2015 16:19

I left school in4th year so i was 16 and practically skipped out the door but even then the ones who stayed on till 6thyr went out for a meal and there was a band.

dingit · 02/07/2015 16:19

My dd16 has just had hers. Most of them looked lovely and not ott..
One girl had a my big fat gypsy wedding style frock and arrived in a wedding car. It smacked daddy's little princess/ spoiled little rich girl and looked ridiculous.

vvega · 02/07/2015 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ValancyJane · 02/07/2015 16:25

I love seeing all my students dressed up (and pointing out to the smartly dressed boys that I've spent five years nagging them to tuck their shirt in, but finally, FINALLY, they have worked out the concept!!) - but I find it quite depressing when their parents have clearly spent £200+ for a dress and stupid amounts for what they arrive in which seems to be the latest trend around here (one of my former students arrived with his date in a helicopter - ridiculous!)

Mrsjayy · 02/07/2015 16:30

A helicopter that is bloody ridiculous. Think parents all dropped kids except dd1s year a couple got dropped off in a sports car nobody seemed that impressed.

Duckdeamon · 02/07/2015 16:30

Aah school party memories. My favourite was a Christmas one in a bar function room in lower sixth (the organisers were upper sixth students who knew where in town to party), wore a blue short crushed velvet dress and sky high heels, danced with friends all night then snogged the lad I'd fancied for ages after my best friend literally dragged him over and told him I fancied him.