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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I fought with the school to let my child start in nappies...

214 replies

Piratejones · 18/06/2015 13:45

And now 3 years later, we have reached a point where he is dry in the day in places he knows and semi reliable outside the home. They are getting funny because i DON'T want him in a nappy during a school trip.

I can't win, it's a fucking joke. up until now they've been pushing to get rid of the nappies, he starts showing some improvement and they don't want the responsibility of taking spare clothes.

It makes me angry.

OP posts:
Jaderuby · 22/06/2015 07:41

Good luck today piratejones.

SoldierBear · 22/06/2015 08:09

Good morning, Pirate
Hope you have a positive discussion with the school and that they can see how it us in your DSs best interest to focus on how to achieve the long term aim with consistency and dignity.

fourmeatpies · 22/06/2015 08:52

How about a little gratitude for the staff who have had to deal with your child's nappies for the past three years, whatever the reason, instead of slagging them off to all and sundry.

I agree Goblin Teachers have to put up with a lot these days. I had one child who clearly displayed the youngest child syndrome. Happy to be the baby at home and would play up and wet / soil at school. Not allowed to say anything though just have to put up with being surrounded by pissy and shitty nappies.
Then they complain that we use too much perfume on ourselves to cover it.

SoldierBear · 22/06/2015 08:59

Seriously?
This is a conversation about a little boy who clearly had a very rocky start to life and who is making great progress that his mum doesn't want to be undermined.
It is his right to go to school despite toileing issues.

fourmeatpies · 22/06/2015 09:03

Sorry, i'm not connecting the two things together in any way, but as a teacher i can agree with Goblin. I'm not implying this is to do with the OP and her child, who has obviously made progress.

Pagwatch · 22/06/2015 09:04

Fourmeatpies

That's a pretty stupid post.

fourmeatpies · 22/06/2015 09:05

Are you a reception teacher Pag?

Pagwatch · 22/06/2015 09:06

X-posted but actually not much better.

You could perhaps agree with goblin about spoilt children getting on your nerves on a thread that is not about the ops son.

Pagwatch · 22/06/2015 09:08

No
I'm the mother of a child with SN who doesn't appreciate teachers, who should know better, complaining about shitty nappies on a thread about a child who has toilet issue.

fourmeatpies · 22/06/2015 09:10

That's fair enough.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/06/2015 09:13

It's interesting that Gobin pops up on these threads regularly and most teachers often don't agree with her.

The fact that you agree with her probably has nothing to do with the fact that you are a teacher.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/06/2015 09:14

goblin

soapboxqueen · 22/06/2015 09:39

I'm a teacher and I've never had a problem with changing children though in all fairness being ks2 it's not a regular occurrence. Cleaning crap of the walls and floors because someone thinks it's funny? Yes, numerous times.

I think really the only legitimate caveat is having cover for the rest of the class. Most of the time a TA is employed to cover this specific task but not always. I've been left in a situation where a child needed to be cleaned up but also still had a full class of children. School slt uninterested. This caveat isn't the child's problem, it's the school's and it happens far too often. I think some teachers focus their frustration at the child when actually it is the school that has left both the child and the teacher in that situation.

I think since the ops child has one to one, this is the school trying to minimise a need and then forcing the staff to take up the slack in a situation where they know it could all go very wrong. Their option is to put the child back into nappies which isn't what's best for the child.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/06/2015 09:57

Well said soapbox.

The only possibly explanation I can think of might be if the trip was to somewhere were the toilets were not easily accessible and it might not be possible to get to a toilet in the amount of time the padded underwear will hold wee for. But if that's the case the school could have communicated their reasoning better.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2015 11:40

Good luck today Pirate.

SoldierBear · 22/06/2015 18:51

Hope you had a constructive meeting, Pirate

Original poster
Piratejones · 22/06/2015 19:06

They are going to "reassess" forcing him into nappies, but they have made it clear that they are in his care plan which they have to follow.
So i asked when and how they will change the care plan to reflect his current abilities, as should have been done anyway.
This caused a few blank looks, but they will do it before the school trip.

And I've emailed them an outline of what we talked about so they can confirm, this way i have proof that they promised to update his health care plan.
I can't imagine a toilet will be that hard to find in a museum.

OP posts:
SoldierBear · 22/06/2015 19:11

It sounds like you handled that meeting admirably, Pirate. And well done for emailing the agreed outcomes to them. Masterstroke!

It must be so tiring for you to have to keep fighting like this.

I hope MiniPirate has a great time on his school trip. Maybe he could play "I Spy" while he's there - something begining with "T"?

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/06/2015 19:15

Well if it's a museum they haven't really got a leg to stand on. I was thinking more along the lines of something outside.

Sounds like you've had a constructive meeting though. Definitely a good idea to keep evidence though.

Presumably if he's not in nappies and was before then they've been not following the care plan for some time without too much of a problem.

Original poster
Piratejones · 22/06/2015 19:26

I hope MiniPirate has a great time on his school trip. Maybe he could play "I Spy" while he's there - something begining with "T"?

It's not going to be toilet if there are triceratops.

Presumably if he's not in nappies and was before then they've been not following the care plan for some time without too much of a problem.

They've changed the careplan once before, he messed himself the first day in underpants and they phoned me to change him. so i made sure they didn't phone again and told them to amend the care plan to give permission to change clothes.
This time i have proof of the fact.

OP posts:
MamanOfThree · 22/06/2015 19:40

Pirate hope you will get what you need for MiniPirate.

I'm Shock at some of the answers here.
Even if you miss the bit about the SN, it's obvious that the school attitude isn't logical!

Original poster
Piratejones · 23/06/2015 08:00

Thank you Maman I can't understand it either.

OP posts:
Jasonandyawegunorts · 23/06/2015 13:48

Sounds like it didn't go too badly.

Jaderuby · 23/06/2015 14:45

To be honest this whole thing sounds like laziness on the part of the school.

fourmeatpies · 23/06/2015 15:57

Good job pirate. Sometimes we get worked up over these things and the teachers are only following what is written.