To think this is rude at a concert

[TheRobbingBastards]

We went to DS's Summer concert last night. This is a big event for the music department and the children who perform.

My judgey pants were pulled well up at the couple who arrived with two younger DS's (about 7is) in tow, plonked themselves in the front row then fished an iPad in a luminous green case out of a bag. The two boys then spent the whole concert playing a game that involved much waving of arms. All the time they were sat in front of the stage, in direct eyeline of the children performing

In fairness they had the sound down, both boys stayed in their seats all the way through the concert and apart from the occasional muffled gasp or cheer they were quiet. I also realise that expecting DC to behave themselves through an event like that is easier said than done, and don't necessarily judge the parents for using an iPad to keep them entertained. It's more the inconsideration of allowing them to distract the performers as well as the audience several rows behind them.

So AIBU and curmudgeonly or was this unnecessarily rude and thoughtless?

My dd was a 90s child i think her character was well and truly built

We didn't have ipads when I was small, but we did have books, colouring books, dolls etc and there is no way we would have been allowed sit reading or playing with dolls while a live performance was going on. Children need to learn that sometimes they just have to sit and be quiet and listen to what's going on.
Attitudes like some of the ones on this thread are the reason why children are allowed ruin weddings by talking and running around in churches. Sometimes children will have to sit through something they don't find interesting. That's just life!

Exactly i think children and parents need to learn sometimes it is not all about them and and they have to sit and watch/listen to something .

At my Dds yr 6 end of term production the woman sat behind us chatted to her teenage daughter all the way through it. I was seething but dh didn't want to make a fuss, so said nothing.
I found out 6 weeks later when Dd moved up to secondary school that she was her new English teacher

Phew, the general consensus seems to be IANBU that's a first

As I said, if the iPad is necessary due to SN then no problem, but not in the front row. Otherwise my JP's are still well and truly hoiked :o

And FWIW yes, the concert was mostly awful but everyone did their absolute best. I hark fondly back to DS's private school days when screechy violins would strictly not be tolerated :o

Yes I have sat through many....was always an adventure to go to the big school to watch one.

Even managed it without a gadget.

I think i hate recorder most of all dd was in a recorder group her 1st and 2nd year of high school school concerts christmas concerts urgh made me want to pull my ears off

my sister was in the brass band and the orchestra. trumpets can make really "interesting" noises

I take a toddler and a seven year old with SEN to concerts on average four times a year. My eldest parps in a few brass, wind and jazz band ensembles. iPad and 2DS, plus a few trains, a book or three and a ziploc bag full of haribo and chocolate buttons go with us as a matter of course. Earphones are a requirement. We try to aim for the back row, but it's not always possible. last September the toddler took it upon himself to perform his own interpretive twerk to each of the pieces. Thankfully the rest of the people on the back row with me thought it was hysterical and brushed off my whispered apologies.

Twerking toddler least they were having fun, i overheard at the end HT waffle speech a youngun saying ^MUMMY THAT MAN IS VERY NOISY>

I went to a dance show with my sister. Performers ranged from the tiny 2 and 3 year olds, right up to 17 or 18, so the audience ranged hugely as did the quality of the dancing

There was a young boy in front of us with an iPad and it was incredibly distracting. My sister asked the father whether the light could be dimmed. The parents got huffy, took the iPad away and kept soothing the upset boy while throwing snotty faces our way. I think if I had a child who HAD to use something distracting to others then I would mention it to the people behind me. That seems like common courtesy. As it was, the young lad started watching the dancing and seemed pretty mesmerised to us, though I appreciate that he hadn't given it full attention for very long.

Bishop Is excluding families with disabled children preferable?

What about kids with SEN issues who were performing? They might be liable to be even more distracted/discombobulated by such atrocious behavior going on in the front row. I know it woul dhugely put off both my daughters (both have dyspraxia one has AS, they ar eboth easily rattled).

If electronics are non negiotable then sit at the back.

In any event: if the occasion is ruined for others they are, effectively, excluded. Whatever you do you cannot spoil the show for the rest of the audience. It's a matter of give and take sitting anywhere except the back is too much take.

Mrsjayy the boy has a talent. Without any teaching or music TV input he has perfected the art of shaking his benappied butt along to pretty much any tune that his sister's school or the local music service care to choose. His efforts during the Pirates of the Caribbean medley were a treat :o

he sounds like he has great moves

YANBU

The majority of children should not be allowed electronic devices during a performance of anything, it's very rude.

Children who need them should of course be allowed them. But sitting in the front row when not listening is the rude thing in that case. Which it doesn't sound like it was in the OP's situation, given that the boys were playing a game together rather than using the device to prevent over stimulation or other reasons that they are helpful to children with SN.

The musical performances at our school are beautiful, but after an hour or so I lose the will to live.What 7 year old boy is going to still and quiet through 2 or 3 hours of the stuff?

I think playing with toy cars would be a lot more distracting than a tablet.Not really sure why the musicians would be distracted .Shouldn't they be looking at their conductor or their music?

.. and at our school concerts, seating is round tables with lights or candles and bottles of wine on them. I don't see how a light is distracting? Do they normally practise in the dark?

I wonder how parents of children with sn coped with situations like these in the 50s?

They probably had to stay away, Pink.
The kids were mostly institutionalised anyway. Neither seen or heard.
Which I know many of you would prefer, kids with SN are fine by most people until their needs become inconvenient.

As I say I don't want to miss my other kids' school events and I won't. An iPad with headphones or on silent with the brightness turned down, placed at the side of the room, disturbs nobody. Yes he might flap but stopping that would cause far more disruption.

It's either that or have him scream, shout, crawl under seats and lick strangers. I'm not hiding my family away at home.

Those who think I'm some kind of failure as a parent because I parent a child differently from their smug ideal due to disabilities are welcome to have a try.

You're not, Bishop. At all.

Did you mean kick or lick strangers?

Kids with more severe SN were institutionalised or in special schools. But kids who now get diagnosed with ADHD, would just have been seen as naughty. So they would have went to mainstream schools.