To think this is rude at a concert

[TheRobbingBastards]

We went to DS's Summer concert last night. This is a big event for the music department and the children who perform.

My judgey pants were pulled well up at the couple who arrived with two younger DS's (about 7is) in tow, plonked themselves in the front row then fished an iPad in a luminous green case out of a bag. The two boys then spent the whole concert playing a game that involved much waving of arms. All the time they were sat in front of the stage, in direct eyeline of the children performing

In fairness they had the sound down, both boys stayed in their seats all the way through the concert and apart from the occasional muffled gasp or cheer they were quiet. I also realise that expecting DC to behave themselves through an event like that is easier said than done, and don't necessarily judge the parents for using an iPad to keep them entertained. It's more the inconsideration of allowing them to distract the performers as well as the audience several rows behind them.

So AIBU and curmudgeonly or was this unnecessarily rude and thoughtless?

At first school the productions were ticket only. You would be lucky to get 2 tickets per family, 4? No way.

Yes it's rude, but then some people don't seem to have any common sense.

We were at a small festival at the weekend. It was a lovely sunny day, eveyone was sat on the grass watching the performers. Along come a big group of about 15 adults, they plonked themselves right in front of a small space, in front of the stage, then proceeded to talk very loudly throughout the whole thing. I really wanted to ask them to shut the fuck up be quiet but do wouldn't let me.

Yanbu that's very rude and showing no respect for the effort that has gone into the performance.
Disrespect from both parents and children but they were told it was ok and just did it. Such a bad example.

This happened to us when we went to the Pope's public mass in Rome last year. Everyone was sitting quietly listening to the speech as it was being translated and a child behind us was playing a game on his dad's phone with the volume up

I'm not religious but DP was raised Catholic and I'm respectful of other people's faith so I was shocked that this was allowed. Finally someone else turned around in their seat and tore into the dad but when he took the phone away, the child started wailing and kicking his dad's seat. It was awful and the child shouldn't have been there, it was roasting hot and he obviously wasn't old enough to sit quietly for that length of time.

If kids must be kept occupied with something like that, then best to seat them at the back of the room where they are a less obvious distraction to the performers.

Absolutely rude and entitled. Twats.

I wonder why the school/organisers didn't have a word?

*Perish the thought they may be encouraged to actually watch and enjoy the performance.

Seems some families can't cold turkey on the gadgets for even a night of school entertainment.

Awful*

have you ever sat through a school concert as a child? They are dull tedious and honestly not very good (well my sister's school concerts were) I would have loved something to entertain me as it was too dark to read a book.

And honestly what is wrong with not expecting kids to put up with being bored, they aren't her precious child just their boring annoying big sister (yes i may be projecting here).

meh get with this century. I agree that children shouldn't be stuck in front of gadgets all day and do promote playing outside A LOT. But people who say 'back in my day we would have sat quietly and not used gadgets' etc .. well this isn't back in the day. Children are brought up using I pads etc. . and it's not going to change . You've no idea whether they had sn or anything which may have meant they needed it. If the sound was off it can't have been that distracting

0x530 - I do think children need to learn to put up with being bored. It is a skill.

Not one of you has said how parents who have a child with sn could be accommodated here. You just don't see that these things might be necessary do you? So hoik your judge pants all you like, it's just ignorant and excluding families like mine.

I've already said I wouldn't plonk him at the front, I'm trying to prevent nuisance not cause it.

I think pagwatch has.

She has said she pays for him and wouldn't move accordingly.

Durrrrr wrong thread!

Is excluding families with disabled children preferable?

No, that's not what I said. Read my post.

FWIW we sit to the side or out of the way. But the electronics are non negotiable

Exactly. To the side, at the back. I'm not sure about the electronics. I know my friend didn't have that for her SN child back in the day (I'm old). But if they're using headphones, with the screen's brightness turned down, and are at the back, and it makes the parents' lives easier, then I'm all for it.

The rude behaviour descried in the OP was the sitting in the front row and then not watching the performance at all. How do you think the kids on stage felt about that? What if some of the performing DCs had SNs are were upset?

And so on ...

It's about balance & consideration isn't it?

BishopBrennan - Yes we have. A parent with a child with SN who would distract the performers, needs to sit in a less obtrusive place. It is about being fair to everyone.

bishop yes they have. Assuming these children may have sn, the solution would to not sit at the front. Like you do.

Electronic iPads / phones are the modern day equivalent to the colour books and crayons that we were given to shut us up back in the eighties. Many a time did I sit in a restaurant colouring while ignoring the boring adult chat around me. I was not sat learning the proper way to be bored.

But that aside it is u for them to have sat in the front, in a prominent and distracting position. My dd has asd and we sit to the sides/ back as of she were to play up we can then distract/leave as necessary

Many children in the 80's did learn to be bored sitting in church. I was first taken at 4 and expected to sit through a service.

If the concert was at the school, it would have been safe for the children to stay in a room near the concert hall, perhaps with one of the parents, if they did have SNs that were going to distract everyone? Otherwise sit at the end of the row and be able to leave.

If they didn't have SNs then you are not YANBU. When me and my siblings were taken to concerts we were expected to sit quietly as that's what everyone did, so we did. We probably fidgeted a bit, but weren't that disruptive.

Bishop You have said you would sit at the back which is right but any device must be on headphones and the volume lie enough not to distract and the keys set to silent. That is what reasonable adjustment is about.

I think they should have sat in a place that was more convenient for other people but let's be honest no harm seems to have been done.

When I was in primary school I stopped performing the violin and insisted my teacher came out and played because she was really good and I wasnt.
I explained in stage that she was much better and more fun to listen to, she came out but insisted I played as well.
Miss graham was fucking awesome.

As kids we sort of learned to cope with boredom well i did anyway now parents reach into their bags and pockets as soon as they sit down and produce a gadget no time to be bored they have to be occupied all the time.

"what is wrong with not expecting kids to put up with being bored"

It creates an unrealistic expectation that the world is there to entertain them, and they don't sometimes have to fulfil obligations, or even attempt to engage with situations that just are boring.

Getting through 30 minutes that aren't packed with balls-to-the-wall excitement is, frankly, a life skill a lot of young people seem to lack now.

That ^^ is an great point lots of children want entertained all the time are not expected to just sit because god forbid they might be a bit bored

lots of children want entertained all the time are not expected to just sit because god forbid they might be a bit bored

This! I was bored for all of the 90's and most of the early 00's. It's character building