To think this is rude at a concert

[TheRobbingBastards]

We went to DS's Summer concert last night. This is a big event for the music department and the children who perform.

My judgey pants were pulled well up at the couple who arrived with two younger DS's (about 7is) in tow, plonked themselves in the front row then fished an iPad in a luminous green case out of a bag. The two boys then spent the whole concert playing a game that involved much waving of arms. All the time they were sat in front of the stage, in direct eyeline of the children performing

In fairness they had the sound down, both boys stayed in their seats all the way through the concert and apart from the occasional muffled gasp or cheer they were quiet. I also realise that expecting DC to behave themselves through an event like that is easier said than done, and don't necessarily judge the parents for using an iPad to keep them entertained. It's more the inconsideration of allowing them to distract the performers as well as the audience several rows behind them.

So AIBU and curmudgeonly or was this unnecessarily rude and thoughtless?

I'm leaving this thread now.

Um, you do that.

Toads glad you are not annoyed

Seriously dark I think your post from earlier in the thread where you made the point where everyone's needs are important was a good one and something which I agree with. You've went a bit strange since then though.

thornrose, if you're still around, I've decided not to ask my questions, here or on the SN topics.

Thanks very much for the offer, though. I'll continue to read and (I hope) learn.

Have you read the 'This is my Child' campaign Clear?

I wish we could have a serious debate without it being totally derailed. How people with SN/SEN are treated in society is a real issue but we get a few goady fuckers and instead of giving them the silence they deserve, people dive in and derail. Why are you even giving attention to such fucknuts?!

Because they were spreading misinformation about me which could upset people. Otherwise would rather ignore.

Pag, it's in a window now open on my phone. Will read after my children are asleep. Thanks.

It should be perfectly possible to have a conversation about this but it isn't.

Endlessly being asked to justify and educate must be incredibly wearing in particular for parents of young children with SN. But whilst many posters comment with a supportive and open minded attitude, too many people just rock up with prejudice and a heartlessness which still surprises me every time.

What is the matter with people?

clear, honestly, despite what a few posters have said, the SN section is one of the most friendly, helpful and welcoming places on MN. It has a supportive ethos, and is similar to how MN was at the beginning, when it was much smaller and personal.

If you're not a goady fucker and just want to know something please do ask, or I am sure posters would not mind if you PMd them, I certainly wouldn't mind although my DCs' SN isn't ASD, and I have a physical disability myself.

clear, honestly, despite what a few posters have said, the SN section is one of the most friendly, helpful and welcoming places on MN.

Whilst we are on that subject, what happens if I post there and say something wrong? Or if I word what I'm trying to say wrong? I'm always scared about saying something wrong and having people rip me to shreds.

Toads, I can see why you would worry like that if you have frequented AIBU but honestly, the Sn section, IMHO, isn't like that at all. As long as you are not being deliberately inflammatory, people are very understanding and very helpful.. After all, most of us knew nothing about SNs and we all had a first post on MN I am a very long term poster (recent namechanges) and personally had nothing but support and even virtual hugs and hair stroking

If you are worried though, you can ways preface your posts saying you are looking for info and don't know much about terminology etc...

It's this:
SN may be a reason for certain behaviour, not an excuse

That makes me want to join ds1 is taking lumps out of the wall.

Toads - it's interesting juggling needs. Ds1 is severely autistic (laid teens, non-verbal, lots of distressed behaviours currently) & the issue of noise comes up frequently in school & respite. Many of the young people are noise sensitive & many are exremely noisy (but intolerant of anyone else's noise - I use intolerant non-judgmentally) - so it's a constant juggle. What can happen - if you're not careful - is that the 'easiest' child physically tends to be the one who is required to compromise. So if someone will hit staff due to noise - the noise producer might have to compromise all the time - even though they're not hitting anyone.

With decent training & awareness of this sort of thing there can usually be solutions found - often they cost money (as they involve staff) - but they should be argued for imo.

Evening all,

Just wanted to let you know we will be suspending posting on this thread shortly.

We've had A LOT of reports about it all day, and it's true it has now turned into something of bunfight...

We can also see evidence of a number of sock puppets, and we need some time at MNHQ to go through it all properly.

Also, we did link to it upthread, but please do take a look at our This Is My Child campaign if you haven't already.

It's this:
SN may be a reason for certain behaviour, not an excuse

That makes me want to join ds1 is taking lumps out of the wall"

Saintly, have I misunderstood you or have I worded my post of 19.33 badly and inadvertently fucked it up? I meant, I was annoyed that everyone bleats "people use SN as an excuse for everything" whereas I think SNs being the reason are just that, a logical reason, nothing to be judged or excused for...does that make sense?

Ah okay - sorry I misunderstood! I thought you meant 'it's no excuse & they should be taught to know better. My cousins neighbour's friend's sister has a son with SN and he doesn't behave like that' (there's been a lot of that on MN today - Sorry, I'll stop knocking more plaster off our walls )

Right then, I'll take a look.