To think this is rude at a concert

[TheRobbingBastards]

We went to DS's Summer concert last night. This is a big event for the music department and the children who perform.

My judgey pants were pulled well up at the couple who arrived with two younger DS's (about 7is) in tow, plonked themselves in the front row then fished an iPad in a luminous green case out of a bag. The two boys then spent the whole concert playing a game that involved much waving of arms. All the time they were sat in front of the stage, in direct eyeline of the children performing

In fairness they had the sound down, both boys stayed in their seats all the way through the concert and apart from the occasional muffled gasp or cheer they were quiet. I also realise that expecting DC to behave themselves through an event like that is easier said than done, and don't necessarily judge the parents for using an iPad to keep them entertained. It's more the inconsideration of allowing them to distract the performers as well as the audience several rows behind them.

So AIBU and curmudgeonly or was this unnecessarily rude and thoughtless?

Sorry..don't know why my phone called you Haxey there.

Cross posted.

Instead of segregating them so that the performing kids aren't upset why not teach the performing kids a bit about tolerance and inclusion

Maybe because they are 5 years old and not ready for such concepts. Maybe because some of them have SNs and will never understand the concept. Maybe because their powers of concentration aren't good and they need audience members to be sympathetic to that.

No one's rights trump anyone else's. Of course schools have to make reasonable adjustments but the DCs performing deserve the best possible environment in which to perform. Or don't they matter?

Morage well so was I and I also act considerately of others. But wouldn't it be nice if people showed consideration the other way and decided they would tolerate proper inclusion of those who can't help behaving slightly less than perfectly?

It's entirely reasonable for a noiseless not flashing device to be provided at the side or rear of the room

Of course it is. Whoever would say it wasn't?

Well mythical the kids at my DD''s school who all have severe learning disabilities and therefore a mental age of under 5 manage to still enjoy their school performances with big smiles on their face, despite all not being totally silent.

I actually don't take DD to things because she won't fit in and be quiet.

But that's actually very unfair as she should be allowed to experience the same things as others. People need to be accommodating. A bit of noise vs not being able to attend things ever..which would you choose personally?

Maybe because they are 5 years old and not ready for such concepts. Maybe because some of them have SNs and will never understand the concept. Maybe because their powers of concentration aren't good and they need audience members to be sympathetic to that.

My ds's school is an infant's school, with many pupils with a range of disabilities - they are whole lot more inclusive and understanding than some of the adults!

"How would you feel if told your DC should sit at the back, away from "normal" people because of something they can't help? It smacks of the "back of the bus" mentality.

No one has said that, purple"

mythical kings, are we reading the same thread?! People are saying exactly that.

"Maybe because they are 5 years old and not ready for such concepts. Maybe because some of them have SNs and will never understand the concept. Maybe because their powers of concentration aren't good and they need audience members to be sympathetic to that."

Do you think pupils at special schools never have concerts or perform in front of their peers?

Purple - Do you also think the same for adults?
Because I suspect you would tut if my disability impacted on your DCs

The children in my sons class (age 5-6) seem to have more understanding and are more inclusive than some of the adults posting on this thread.

I know they do. I've been to very many. And I've taken my NT DS's out if they were being a distraction to their cousin with ASD and his friends. It's good manners.

It's not about 'trumping'.
It's about equality.

^^ in answer to hazey

People are saying exactly that. Where? I cannot see a single post that says that anyone should be kept "away from normal people".

And they will grow out of it and be able to enjoy concerts for the rest of their lives.

And some others won't.

Morage, I'm sorry but I'm not sure what you're asking me?

I do think that children and adults with disabilities should not be segregated.

I'm not a fan of tutting anyway generally...and certainly not about someone's disabilities.

Right so as my ten year old dd has asd and would need to quietly play on a dimmed ipad I should not be able to sit near the front to see my other dc. More importantly my other dc would not be able to see me.
Sadly I have obviously failed my dd because I cannot teach her to behave normally at such events.

Purple - Nobody is talking about segregation. But because of my disability, there are things I couldn't go to without disrupting others, so I don't go.

No one has actually said "kept away from normal people" but quite a few have said children who behave in a way that disturbs others even though it is due to sn, should be taken out, sat at the back or not go in the first place.

Right so as my ten year old dd has asd and would need to quietly play on a dimmed ipad I should not be able to sit near the front to see my other dc.

No one said that.

Yes they did, they said we should sit at the back.

If you have a child who makes noises, bangs, flaps, taps and kicks then you have the potential to annoy people wherever you go. So if you avoided going to places where you might disturb someone, you would never go anywhere, for the rest of your life.

It's honestly as though I'm reading a different thread to some posters.

This thread is FULL of people saying DC (even if they have SN) who are disruptive should sit at the back or the side. I'm on my iPad so can't copy and paste them all - but just read the thread!

Morage I think it's very sad that you don't go to things as you don't want to disrupt others due to your disability, and I wonder if in part this is due to attitudes like the ones displayed on here?

The only constraints my own disability puts on me is if I cannot physically do anything, eg I had to stop running, which I loved. I wouldn't not do anything because of other people's attitudes though. Disabled people are part of life and should be included.

quite a few have said children who behave in a way that disturbs others even though it is due to sn, should be taken out, sat at the back or not go in the first place.

Is that so wrong? Is it fair that a child practises a performance for weeks and then cannot be heard or cannot continue because a DC (with or without sns) in the audience is making a noise or distracting him?

It isn't about sns. The thread was about audience members distracting the young performers. No one said those doing it had sns.

I'm speaking up for the DCs on stage, some of whom may well have sns.

Children in special schools manage to perform in front of and with their peers who are likely to be noisy or distracting.