To wish she would just back off?!

[OneDoneOneBun]

DP and I have lived in our new house a little over a year, we have a 9 month old and I'm 10 weeks pregnant with our second.
We are very friendly with the family who live 3 doors up but it's become increasingly clear that their daughter fancies DP, she constantly flirts with him, If he goes outside to chat to her stepdad she comes out straight away and flirts the whole time. She posted a dub smash video to his FB wall a few weeks ago of herself asking him "do you think I'm cute, yes or no" pouting with very little clothes on and just silly things like that all the time. They've been on holiday for a week and are due back today, she inboxed DP last night asking "are you missing me? With kissy heart faces ð???. Maybe i'm just being over sensitive as i'm really hormonal at the moment so that's obviously not helping but it's really getting to me. I said to DP in bed last night that it's clear she fancies him and he said "yeah I think so too but I don't think about it, it's only a teenage thing and it'll pass" ... Well wether it's a teenage thing or not she's hardly 13, she's 17 and is old enough to know what she's doing, plus she has a boyfriend! I feel like I'm in an awkward situation cos I'm getting really pissed off about it but I feel like I can't say anything because we're so friendly with the family and I don't wanna fall out with them

I'm pretty sure the poster who suggested marriage was joking AnotherEmma.

OMG someone took SolidGoldBrass' wedding post seriously?

I love Mumsnet

'Grooming?' Oh come on now, really?

Argh if she was joking... whoops

I think if anyone saw any of this as grooming, surely it would be the 17yr old trying to groom the OP, into being unfaithful?

What I see is an immature girl with a crush and an equally immature man who is flattered by it.

Either that or he's just feeling really awkward and doesn't know how to handle the situation.

Either way, he needs to unfriend her and stop replying.

Let's agree to disagree nabuma

I meant the OP's DP obviously

Grooming? FFS. You do understand what the term means Footle? From what the OP has posted, that term in no way fits the situation.

Look. This girl has a teenage crush. OPs DH has been slow to deal with it but there's no abuse or grooming going on here. Dear god.

"Of course you can say something - post a nice picture of DH on Facebook and comment "mine all mine". Jokey but a reminder"

"Mine all mine"? No! He's a man, not a possession! If the op starts going down that road she may as well brand him like a sheep and round off by pissing on him like a dog!

"Mine all mine" smacks of insecurity and at best will make the op look stupid. It might even be taken as a throwing down of the gauntlet. I wouldn't advise it.

If he doesn't like it then he should just delete her. Why on earth would her parents give a shit if some random neighbour deleted a teenager off FB? Why are there completely irrational (potential) feelings being tiptoed around?

If he does like it, and it sounds like he does, then the problem is not with her.

Your dh is encouraging this.

Your dh is enjoying it.

From what you've put your DH has clocked the family are all indulging the silliness and is hoping it will pass. His responses all seem designed to put her back in the 'annoying little kid' box without causing a scene or embarrassing anyone. Just ignore it, he knows and seems nonplussed.

Both of you should unfriend her on FB, nobody will ask why in all likelihood, if they do just say her messages to your DP were inappropriate. It's the truth.

It does sound like your DP is enjoying the flirtation, he shouldn't be responding to messages like that.

I really think he shouldn't be replying to any of the messages at all. It doesn't send the right message across if he engages in what she is doing in anyway.

BUT Has he ever actually told her to stop? Maybe she needs a final "this is getting really silly now, stop it."

His reply to "are you missing me?" was essentially a yes then??!!

Good grief!

OP, your DP is being a bit of an idiot in all of this. He essentially replied to her "are you missing me" comment with a big fat yes. He is enabling this behaviour - he probably is flattered and sees no issue with it! I also think it is really weird that you are all Facebook friends - it is inappropriate. Your DP needs to block her off Facebook NOW. I would also have a word with the parents.

Sorry OP, but your DH's responses to her are fucking idiotic! She is going to take it as flirty banter and will hardly be discouraged. And it sounds like he's enjoying getting his ego (and hopefully nothing else) stroked a bit. They both need to grow up, though at least she's got the excuse of being a teenager. A 30 year old man ought to know better.

this is simple - he needs to explain that her posts and messages are inappropriate and it must stop immediately - he needs to say this to her father also given he is already friendly with him - each time she approaches him he needs to make his excuses and remove himself from the situation

I remember some of my behavior at 17 and in hindsight die at my stupidity - 17 year olds can do stupid things on purpose without realizing how incredibly idiotic they are being - it is unlikely this is the first time she has approached a mature man in this way

I never asked him to delete her because it might make things awkward with the family
Again - the family don't seem to mind the awkwardness of her flirting with a 30 year old man.

Your husband needs to get his priorities right! I'm guessing he is loving it. Or he'd have already put a stop to it, right?

I agree with Footle: DP could be put in an awkward position if he doesn't shut this connection down now.

I don't think i'd tell her mother, she's old enough to know what she's doing plus her mother isn't someone you'd want to get in a row with and she's one of these "my girls are always right, they can't do no wrong and the sun shines out of their arses" types