to think that my sister is BU and SIL did nothing wrong?

[MyFamilyAreAllMad]

My sister and SIL are at war again

Sister gave my nieces £20 each. They are 7 and 8. They chose to go to Pizza Hut or Express or one of those places, so SIL and BIL took them and then got the girls to phone them up and say thank you.

Sister is now mad because 'they spent the money on themselves'!

I am staying WELL out of it, but I really think she's BU.

Eh? Who else were they supposed to spend it on?

Is your Sis annoyed that SIL didn't need to pay for herself, or something?

Who we're they supposed of spend the only on? What did DSis give them the money for?

Feck knows what she's mad at. I think she wanted the girls to buy something completely for themselves.

Your sister is mad because your nieces spent the money she gave them on themselves? Or does she think your SIL & DB spent the money on a family meal?

The money was a gift, they can do what they want with it, surely ?
What did she want them spending it on ?

well TBH it sounds like the money given to the girls was used on a family meal

I can understand the anger, she wanted the girls to spend the money purely on themselves, not to give their parents a meal out

If the money was used in part to pay for the parents' meals, I think your sister has a point.

Ooh. Being 'mad' is a bit ott, but did the girls pay for their parents food too?
In theory, if you give someone money as a gift, I don't think you have any right to tell them how to spend it, but I think that's a bit tight of the parents, unless they really couldn't afford their own share and the nieces really wanted to spend the money on them.

I guess she gave the neices the money to spend on themselves and they've gone to dinner paying for SIL and BIL too.

I'd be pissed of with that too BIL and SIL should pay for themselves. It doesn't cost £40 for pizza for 2 DCs.

Ooh, so all nice family activities such as meals out must be paid for fully from the parents pockets, and children must only use their own money to buy plastic tat?

Your sister is B very U.

They don't often go out and the girls had a ball, so I really think my sister is being UR.

Fair enough being quietly miffed, but it's all being blown out of proportion. As usual!

I'd be miffed that the girls spent money on food.

So your DNs had £40 between them which was used to take their parents for a pizza? What was the reason for the gift? I can kind of see why the person who gave the money would be miffed. I would have thought they would buy something for themselves

maybe your db has form for taking the piss out your sister?

Not as far as I know, ssd. My SIL and my sister just don't see eye to eye.

Yeah I can see your sisters point. I don't think she intended to treat the whole family to a meal out.

It's a gift and your sister needs to but out. If the sil had bought herself a shirt or manicure or something entirely for herself then I could understand.

The girls aren't old enough to go by themselves so the parents would have to pay extra for the girls to get what they wanted or the girls wouldn't get their wish full stop.

Personally I would have made up the difference but not everyone can afford to do that.

If they don't often go out, the girls may have felt like they were treating mum and dad to a dinner out ?
Good for them if so - i think it shows how sweet they are, and they will remember a nice night out instead of spending 20 quid on stuff from claire's accessories or wherever. The memory of a nice time will last longer.

I think the girls are being perfectly lovely, sharing their present for a family night out. Once you give over a gift, you don't have control of it. Had it been a box of chocolates, would she have been annoyed if they shared any with their parents or friends?

As long as SIL and BIL didn't pressure them to spend the money in that way, I think it shows that they are raising generous children, and your sister should be proud.

I can see why your sister is upset, most people wouldn't think that a meal in a restaurant is a fair thing to expect DCs that age to fund out of their own money, she probably assumed the money would be spent on toys or clothes or a treat like that, not a normal meal. But if a family have a very tight budget and don't eat out much and tell the DCs it's due to not having much money, I can see why the DNs picked to go out with it - it's a bit sad though.

the girls may have felt like they were treating mum and dad to a dinner out

I think they did. They were so excited, bless them. And they had a starter, pizza AND pudding!

So she's fine with her brother and just pissed off at sil?

So she's annoyed because her nieces are lovely children who want to treat their parents with a meal for all of them with their money? She's definitely BU. They could have bought anything for themselves and they chose to treat the family. Bless them I say!

It's not on that kids had to use birthday/Xmas/gift money to pay for a meal for themselves AND their parents. I wouldn't really expect young children to pay for their own meal out of gift money even if the parents were paying for theirs, parents should pay. But can just about forgive it if money is really tight and the parents can't afford a meal for 4. But for the parents to get a free meal out courtesy of their kids gift money..... no wonder your sis is fucked off.

I think it's odd of the parents to eat the children's money. In the same position, I would have paid for my own meal and taken the DC to buy something with their change. If on a small budget, I'd have had the cheapest on the menu.