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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at suddenly becoming old?

218 replies

jimijack · 12/05/2015 14:40

Well tbf it feels like it has suddenly happened.

I used to be gorgeous (I did!!) Gorgeous long blonde hair, 8 stone, trendy, could eat anything, always out here & there. Job I loved, people around me equally you'd & gorgeous.

Now.
I am almost 45. I'm fat, frumpy, short very greying hair, I have a moustache, bushy eyebrows, can't remember when I shaved my legs last. I don't recognize this person in the mirror.
I look forward to the Aldi magazine, my wheelie bin gets out more than I do & I've had to change jobs. Much less enjoyable, challenging and mundane.

How did this happen?
I LOVE my life, I am very fortunate, I just hate me & what has happened to me.

Time has gone nowhere, really fast.

OP posts:
26Point2Miles · 12/05/2015 14:43

Yes but most of what you mentioned can be changed

DurhamDurham · 12/05/2015 14:44

Most of what you have said can be changed, you can dye your hair, pluck your eyebrows, shave your legs. If you want to of course Smile
You are hardly 'old' at 45, I'll be 45 in October and don't feel remotely old. Things change, I don't spend my weekends going out all the time but I do other things I enjoy.
It sounds like you have got stuck in a rut but hopefully just a few small changes might start to make you feel better about yourself. It's worth it as you might be only half way through your life Flowers

feckitall · 12/05/2015 14:45

Welcome to the middleaged club...except I was never gorgeous...or trendy...was 8 stone though Wink

debricassartcleary · 12/05/2015 14:47

I hear you. You need a spiritual awakening. Perhaps read Further Along the Road Less travelled. M. Scott Peck.

DarlingDaffodil · 12/05/2015 14:47

Heck, I understand you!
I am on the cusp of 50 mind you so even older.
My hair is greying and I realise wash in was out jobbies not really doing the job.
I believe I may need to cultivate a fringe....
I have always been slim but certain areas are most definitely sqidgy rather than toned.
I have bristly bits on my chin- do they show? Mmm....
I look tired.
I have a pull along shopping bag Blush.

Original poster
jimijack · 12/05/2015 14:49

I don't feel old in my head, I look old now though.

I have waxed the old tash, shaved my legs n stuff, eating very healthily & regularly have a nice different hair cut for a change.
I look in the mirror & sigh deeply.

Not getting much sleep due to early waking 2 year old so weary I suppose.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 12/05/2015 14:52

I am nearly 50 and decided this year I didn't want to get there and feel shoddy! I think after about 47/8 I realised it was much more effort because of the things on your list I used to do the odd one or two and not religiously and now I have to do them all and it seems all the time! I think you have to decide either you are going to be arsed or not. I wish I didn't care that much as its bloody hard work. I would tackle each thing one at a time Once you see the old you emerging with hair and brows etc I think it will be easier to tackle bigger stuff like diet.

cozietoesie · 12/05/2015 14:55

Aim to become elegant and interesting rather than young and sexy. (Earrings are good if funds are too tight for new clothes.) That lasts. Wink

Oh - and start to enjoy yourself more! When did you last buy yourself a decent new book or watch a good movie?

BreconBeBuggered · 12/05/2015 14:56

Lower your standards and get rid of some mirrors. I've got two in my bathroom; in one I'm ten years younger than reality, but the other says I'm ten years older. That fucker can go.

I'm astonished at how much I dislike this vision of the older me. I always imagined I'd be wise enough to accept the evidence of advancing years with grace. What a twat.

worldgonecrazy · 12/05/2015 14:57

I feel your pain. I was 8st, gorgeous auburn well-behaved wavy hair, could eat what I wanted. Did the very basics for beauty.

Then I hit 40 and I had to start putting some effort in. My hair is thinning so I have to disguise it and it has become too much work to wear it down all the time. I have to get my eyebrows and facial hair done. I have to work to keep in the 10st mark.

I think we can still be gorgeous, it just takes more effort, and the men who are attracted to our level of gorgeousness are rarer, as they are the ones who prefer a more refined gorgeousness rather than the everyday gorgeousness of the youngsters. At least that's what I kid myself . . . .

noddyholder · 12/05/2015 14:59

I also feel a bit disappointed in myself and my silly vanity

basketofshells · 12/05/2015 15:01

If it's any consolation, I felt older at 33, when I last had a 2-yr-old, than I did at 40 with older dc.

Mind you, at 45 I have two teenage girls and I'm ancient. I plan to get younger again round about 50 Grin.

Original poster
jimijack · 12/05/2015 15:02

Haaaa at pull along trolley, that's great!

OP posts:
prepperpig · 12/05/2015 15:03

Wow you did all that in nine minutes. I would take me a week to sort myself out.

SoManyQuestions219 · 12/05/2015 15:03

I always imagined I'd be wise enough to accept the evidence of advancing years with grace. What a twat.

Grin
Original poster
jimijack · 12/05/2015 15:04

My 2 year old brings me alive!!
When he starts school people will assume I am his granny...

OP posts:
Original poster
jimijack · 12/05/2015 15:08

Na not 9 minutes, me & toddler had a shower, I was perusing it all whilst dodging bath toys, then decided the tash needed doing yet again & the legs needed shaving so that I can wear a nice skirt to work tonight.
Silver hair glistening under the bathroom lights ......sigh

OP posts:
balletnotlacrosse · 12/05/2015 15:08

I agree with a pp re going for elegant and interesting.

I've realised I can no longer carry off wispy floaty bits of cheap boho stuff, and will now have to spend more money on fewer items of clothing.Sad

propelusagain · 12/05/2015 15:09

No and I am 10 years older than you OP.

I am a size 10, weigh 9 stone, keep my hair in a good state, manicure and pluck my eyebrows, I go to the gym regularly and can run 10K.

It's all about choices.

prepperpig · 12/05/2015 15:10

My rule used to be one beauty thing a night in front of the TV. Now I rarely get time to sit down in front of the TV and so that rule has gone out of the window. Its not good. As we get older we definitely become more high maintenance and need more grooming.

chockbic · 12/05/2015 15:12

I'm angry at the aches and pains. Never really been into my looks, so no loss there.

noddyholder · 12/05/2015 15:13

I do major stuff sunday nights Is a habit now and ok I try and slap on body lotion every other day and have ditched refined sugar

honeyroar · 12/05/2015 15:13

I'm 45 too. It's all starting to go downhill!

Yes you can keep on top of it, but life keeps throwing up more and more obstacles (wrinkles/grey hairs etc). Even my pubes are going grey! I know there are choices but I still think it's pants! I wanna be young still!

Gruntfuttock · 12/05/2015 15:14

Try being 61. Sad I've become very fearful of what is ahead, such as bereavement, dementia and other ade-related difficulties. By appearance is the least of those worries, although sitting in front of the hairdresser's mirror yesterday, when I had my hair trimmed, was very unpleasant indeed.

grovel · 12/05/2015 15:15

We have just bought a Volvo. I am beginning to enjoy gardening. What the hell is happening?

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