To be angry at suddenly becoming old?

[jimijack]

Well tbf it feels like it has suddenly happened.

I used to be gorgeous (I did!!) Gorgeous long blonde hair, 8 stone, trendy, could eat anything, always out here & there. Job I loved, people around me equally you'd & gorgeous.

Now.
I am almost 45. I'm fat, frumpy, short very greying hair, I have a moustache, bushy eyebrows, can't remember when I shaved my legs last. I don't recognize this person in the mirror.
I look forward to the Aldi magazine, my wheelie bin gets out more than I do & I've had to change jobs. Much less enjoyable, challenging and mundane.

How did this happen?
I LOVE my life, I am very fortunate, I just hate me & what has happened to me.

Time has gone nowhere, really fast.

The tape is fab just like frownies but £3 I keep it on a couple of hours as I am a terrible frowner!

I see. I don't get lines there so much,more aroundmy mouth they are starting to accumulate.

I've started using a satin pillow case for that very reason Tizwailor

Real satin sheets are a revelation, Tizwailor. You don't catch on them - just move about at ease. (And they're warm in winter and cool in summer.) I should imagine that satin pillows are much the same.

OP - I'm afraid to say that your opening post is an example of why I will NEVER bow to the MN pressure to have my hair cut into a bristly pixie bob at the first sign of grey.

Grow your hair, dye it back to blonde, feel awesome.

I still have longish hair too I will never cut it! I don't have any grey so not sure what I will do. 7 women in my old book group all decided to go natural at NY 2 years ago only 2 lasted to easter

Ahhh greylady you are so right! The last 20 years looking back have been fantastic for me too.

The next 20 will be equally great although I will have to push through the teenage years with my boys, the only bump in the road I can foresee.

I shall be 50 tomorrow..been preparing myself for this for the past year. I decided I would enter my 50's in the best possible shape. I drag my squally, complaining arse off to the gym four times a week, sometimes at 4:45 am. My skin is greeted every day with a slap of sun cream and hylaluronic acid. I drink so much water, I pee about every five minutes...Go me!!!! All to be undone by finding a long, straggly black hair waving off the side of my arm. What the actual fuck and why?

I am 52 now, hair going grey around the edges (plus a few streaks going on in the middle too). I did consider the pixie look as I want to stay dye free - I dyed my hair from 21 years old and it started to look wiry with the porous grey bits and the slightly over dyed non grey bits. So I went for highlights for a few years but they were going brassy on the grey bits so I have now given up and grown them out.

But I've discovered the streaky grey bits in my mousey hair is actually gradually lightening it rather than making it all seem grey. I had my hair cut to just on shoulder length, choppy and with a fringe. My best mate came down a couple of weeks ago - I hadn't seen her since Christmas. We'd been away on holiday and she said 'oh, lucky you, the sun's lightened your hair and brought your blonde bits out' - I nearly p'd myself laughing - it was the grey! Walked around on air for a week after that!

Invest in a good hairdresser, dye if you want or consider highlights but get the hair cut first. My biggest mistake was doing the dye before the hair cut - I'd have saved myself a bloody fortune in dye over the years with the right cut!

I do have to do the tweezering on the mouth corners cos of the tougher hair coming through.

I am about a stone overweight (down by a stone from this time last year) but have taken up walking each day so even if it doesn't come off, it doesn't go up. And I have changed my diet to include more veg and fruit but otherwise if I want a curry, I'll have it - I have no willpower and I have found that skipping breakfast the next day works for me.

I use the Boots Advanced Serum under normal Nivea cream (which I also use on my body) cos all the expensive creams made no difference at all and actually caused spots on me. Easy when we go away for a weekend - just one pot to remember.

And I've toned down my eye makeup. I use a shadow as a liner under the eye instead of a pencil as that made me look too harsh as my skin is getting slightly paler, toned down the lippy to a soft pink instead of my usual dead as I looked like Cruella DeVil in one photo! And I now use a brow pencil as my brows are fading.

I know what suits me clothes wise now so I don't bother with 'fashion' as such - just choose something 'me' in a fashionable colour. I've slimmed down my wardrobe a lot since I decided to really think what worked for me and what didn't.

I do my nails once a week - I keep them short as they break easily now - but use a French manicure polish (just the rimmel one) to make them look cared for.

And the good thing about hitting the menopause a couple of years ago was that my arm pit and leg hair doesn't grow at the speed it used to (always something good somewhere eh?) so I can shave once a week and that'll pretty much last.

I hit that 'god I'm getting old' when I got to mid forties too. By fifty I'd figured it out and am really looking forward to the next forty years!

My usual 'dead' lippy?? WTF - My usual RED lippy.

Agree about clothes I am in process of 'editing' I know what suits me and the rest just hangs there

I spoke to a pretty sprightly 94 year old the other day, whose only wish was to be 70 again. So, you know, 45 ain't that old.

some of you here sound so sorted, I'm not at all

my wardrobe is a mess, I dont wear make up as I hate it and cant be arsed, although god do I need it, I'm fat and have no excuse or exercise regime on the go, I look in the mirror and sigh but do nothing about it, my social life is slower than a week in the jail....

guess there's no hope for me..

I feel a bit sad about looking older but getting older doesn't bother me. I'm much less angst ridden now I'm in my mid 40's. I love that saying no comes easily and I fall asleep quickly at night without worrying about what anyone thinks of me - I feel liberated!

Ideally, I'd FEEL the way I feel now and LOOK the way I did in my early 30's

^^ yup, see, this is me too OP.

I'm 40 and was 8st, pretty, auburn hair, ate and drank what I liked and looked good in clothes. I made no real effort with my appearance, bar some slap each day and trips to Zara, because I was naturally quite slim and pretty.

Now I'm 10st, lumpy and saggy, greying, frizzy haired, flaky skinned and developing varicose veins. I too thought I'd accept ageing gracefully. And I kind of do - I'm embracing crows feet and accept I will never be 8st again without getting caught up in a famine and I don't mind not looking 21.

But here's the thing that gets me - I have to make an effort to look good for my age now. I don't know how really. What colour should I go? How do you disguise a big c section tummy? (I used to have a six pack!) I have to make an effort to learn. And the sheer time, money and work it's going take me to look good at this age and going forward. I work FT and have 2 under 5. I resent spending lots of time learning this and colouring my hair, cleansing and toning and the will power it takes (that I don't have) to resist food to look even remotely good. But I don't want to look like a bag lady either

Hell- i'm 22 and had to go and buy a pull along trolley last Xmas because I stupidly decided buying beer for my D at the start of the day was a good idea. My BF at the time was mortified.

And sorry- i'm still chuckling at my wheelie bin gets out more than I do

If you're getting close to the menopause I wouldn't edit your clothes too hard just yet as you may come out of it a completely different shape.

I started my fifties flat chested, a bit pear shaped and thinking I knew what suited me. Eight years on and I'm practically hour glass. No surgery involved, just the menopause fairy. The funny thing was, because I hadn't put that much weight on, I didn't even notice I'd grown boobs till a friend told me I needed a new bra!

I suit completely different clothes now and it's taken me a while to work it out. But I actually prefer my new shape. Admittedly it's all going saggy but good underwear is a wonderful thing

Oh boy! I hope the Menopause Fairy gives me perky boobs and long legs! I would also love if her partner MenoMan would visit my husband and give him less grumpy and better erections..

BottleBeach I LOVE that sketch - brilliantly fun and poignant

Once you get to about 46/47 you do start to look old - you either accept it or drive yourself mad trying to stay young.
I unfortunately drive myself mad.

Which is crazy as no one takes any notice of you once you hit that 'invisable' age.