To be angry at suddenly becoming old?

[jimijack]

Well tbf it feels like it has suddenly happened.

I used to be gorgeous (I did!!) Gorgeous long blonde hair, 8 stone, trendy, could eat anything, always out here & there. Job I loved, people around me equally you'd & gorgeous.

Now.
I am almost 45. I'm fat, frumpy, short very greying hair, I have a moustache, bushy eyebrows, can't remember when I shaved my legs last. I don't recognize this person in the mirror.
I look forward to the Aldi magazine, my wheelie bin gets out more than I do & I've had to change jobs. Much less enjoyable, challenging and mundane.

How did this happen?
I LOVE my life, I am very fortunate, I just hate me & what has happened to me.

Time has gone nowhere, really fast.

Just grab the fun where you can, keep smiling and drink wine.

my feet hurt too

like they've done 42 years and have had enough now

the aches and pains do make you feel a lot older!

I do find my mental health is better now. I look at the worries I had in my 20s and 30s and think fgs, what a load of tripe!

I was a pretty grim looking 16 year old. I know there are some beauties out there but I wasn't one of them.
I was geeky, gangly, very spotty, braces, awful glasses, greasy lank hair, not a clue about dress sense, uncomfortable in my own skin.

At 34 however I looked much better- ( still no kids yet- big fat company expense account, regular facials, 5 times a week at the gym, expensive clothes.

I find the effort soul destroying and procrastinate about it all

I used to be bloody gorgeous

now I avoid mirrors

I know what happened, life, kids and more life

its better than the alternative, right enough.

The effort it takes to look normal or socially acceptable annoys me.

I was always very natural- get up- go straight out- if I tried that now, people would be crying in the streets.

I think I look better at 41 than I did at 35. Having children who sleep through the night and are out all day at school really helps.

JohnFarleys

I do go straight out now and people are crying in the streets. The thing is that that no longer bothers me!

45??? Get a grip! Shave woman and get a hair cut!

You can look naturally beautiful until 18, after that you just look like a bag lady.

my feet hurt and I ache more...

I'm 51 on Friday - my dad died age 51... I do worry.

get one of these www.amazon.co.uk/Braun-SE810-Epilator-Facial-Cleansing/dp/B00LZPLRCE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431445444&sr=8-1&keywords=braun+epilator+for+face

genius for the beard. And insist on the odd spa day. Past 40 it does all go downhill

yeah, whatever. Surely you expected this. Except for the actual age, what you list can be modified to suit, the rest of it was bound to happen, no sense being bothered about it.

You are who you are, not the number you are. Not your size or hair color. True, you will encounter people who think those things have to do with defining you, but they are no more sensible than people who defined you by size and hair color before.

I know this is a light hearted thread but three of my friends died in their mid forties so when I look at my sagging stomach and moustache I try to remember that growing old is a privilege denied to many and I attempt to be brave about it all!

Genuine question- why do you find it so depressing? Is it about being attractive to men? I think it's better than the alternative.. Every year older is another year alive. No-one expects us to look like a 20 year old!

I'm 55, I don't feel old at all. I actually felt worse 10 years ago.
Diet and exercise is the key, keep yourself active as possible. Giving up alcohol was a turning point for me as well (not a popular viewpoint on mumsnet, I know). It did nothing for me except make me feel bloated and lethargic.
As far as looks go, well I'm low maintanence. As long as I'm clean and comfortable I'm not fussed .

I am almost 45. I'm fat, frumpy, short very greying hair, I have a moustache, bushy eyebrows, can't remember when I shaved my legs last. I don't recognize this person in the mirror.

Get yourself down to a salon...get your hair coloured. Get your eyebrows tinted and threaded. Shave your legs, eat healthy food and put on some make up.... You will feel better.

Check out my username...I feel your pain!

go on a diet, dye your hair, and pluck your chin.
Sorted!

Well everything you mentioned is just a grooming and maintenance issue. Make the time and you will feel less erm ..... like an old building falling into disrepair.. which is how i feel when i 'let things go'. (so now i don't, I make the effort and dont recoil in horror as much when i pass the mirror ! ).

I struggle with this. I'm 58, love clothes and care about my appearance. At the same time I don't want to deny or apologise for my age and the fact is, I'm a lot closer to 70 than 40.

I've tried to let go of words like 'beauty' 'prettiness' and 'youthful' and instead ty and aim for 'stylish', 'modern' or 'distinctive' but it's not easy. I particularly hate the way once you're past 50, 'looking good' becomes synonymous with 'looking young'. I used to hang out a lot on Style and Beauty - well I still do but I feel less and less comfortable there these days.

I used to be bloody gorgeous
See, I never was. So perhaps that's why the outward manifestations of ageing don't feel so bad.

I was always chubby with bad skin, so getting a bit wrinklier doesn't bother me much. (I am 50 by the way). I have never been into the boring 'maintenance' stuff anyway, often cut my hair myself, buy clothes from charity shops, happy to look A Bit Weird (luckily, charity shops provide plenty of boring clothes for the times when I have to look 'respectable' ie plain blouses and plain Marks or Berketex trousers).

But what pisses me off is losing my physical power. I can still lift and lug and carry, but late nights and crashing on floors and couches now cause genuine pain that lasts for several days. My eyesight is fucked. My hearing is worsening. My knees have been rocky for a while (slightly arthritic) but now my fucking hip joints hurt. I am beginning to think that I might seriously need a hip replacement within the next decade.

Mind you, I have a 30 year old admirer and a handful of fans who think I am the coolest thing ever, which perhaps helps...

YABU. I've got a disease that can take 5-10 years off people's lives and it really freaks me out sometimes when I think about the possibility of not getting old enough to see my DD become and adult. One option is to get old, the other option is dying, ya know!

I have serious health issues and am grateful for every year now but I live every day which includes joining in with threads on here which are not imo that serious

Im with propel
I was gangly , painfully skinny and spotty.
I was too shy to sunbathe and hate the sun.

Im early 50s - cracking figure , lovely skin and hair ,very few wrinkles .
Happier and more beautiful than ever - FUCK settling for stylish