To be angry at suddenly becoming old?

[jimijack]

Well tbf it feels like it has suddenly happened.

I used to be gorgeous (I did!!) Gorgeous long blonde hair, 8 stone, trendy, could eat anything, always out here & there. Job I loved, people around me equally you'd & gorgeous.

Now.
I am almost 45. I'm fat, frumpy, short very greying hair, I have a moustache, bushy eyebrows, can't remember when I shaved my legs last. I don't recognize this person in the mirror.
I look forward to the Aldi magazine, my wheelie bin gets out more than I do & I've had to change jobs. Much less enjoyable, challenging and mundane.

How did this happen?
I LOVE my life, I am very fortunate, I just hate me & what has happened to me.

Time has gone nowhere, really fast.

Yeh!

This is why it's good if you were a minging young thing. All this "old = ugly" stuff is obviously untrue, anyway.

I wasnt minging - just not conventionally gorgeous.
I have to say when I had very small DC I was on my knees- maybe that has something to do with it !!!

I don't see it as 'settling for' stylish - why the hmm face? I just think it describes me better. I was never beautiful anyway.

Try rushing out in the morning to work and turning round to look in the mirror to catch sight of an older woman.
Who the hell is she as I certainly do not feel I look like her!

I'm with you gruntfuttock. 63 and counting.

You do worry more about the future because at our age our friends are failing or dying.

I'm lying own as I'm in pain. I should be up, out and at it!

For those of you who have noticed that you are turning into your mothers, spare a thought for me, because I've noticed my 38 year old DD is turning into me, and it isn't always flattering!

Even worse when you are 73. Hate mirrors. However, one strange thing - I haven't gone grey. My hair is still brown but odder still is that my eyebrows are nearly all grey and what's more they tend to be bushy. I never needed to pluck my eyebrows as they always stayed neat and shaped but awhile ago I thought I would try that threading. Big improvement until big itchy red spots appeared. My poor eyebrows obviously considered the threading an onslaught never experienced before and was reacting. So here I am looking real odd. So girls count your blessings and make the most of your middle years while you are truly in your prime.

Growing older, you hope, is inevitable, growing up is optional...

I'm going to be 60 next month how did that happen?!?

I work full time and have to keep on top of things, hence......

Hair cut and colour every 7-8 weeks
Good quality skin care and good routine
Body lotion every day
Teeth cleaned, flossed and dental hygienist visits
Flattering makeup
Regular threading (including lower lip and chin)
Have a passion for life and do one thing for you every day :)
The love of good man keeps me young too.........

Oh its so cruel isn't it ageing. I wish we could get longer at looking young, but it really is gone in a flash. I used to enjoy having good looks and turning heads. Now it's like I'm invisible. When you're young you don't think about getting old, you kind of stupidly think you're going to be young forever. It's not fair.

see, I dont mind being invisible, I was always very self conscious and men looking at me or trying to chat me up always made me cringe

I'm not a fan of attention.

I think it's far harder when you have been uses to attention and basically getting your own way/stuff through your looks.

If you have never really been attractive or sexy it must be a bit of a relief to be more on a level playing field with your contemporaries.

Still there's no excuse for hairy skin, bad eyebrows, crappy hair or being fat. If you are those things that's fine but it's because you choose to be. Nowt to do with age

I think the worst is that it is such a surprise seeing myself in the mirror..or worse, photos! I'm 47 and still 9 stone... but it's all softer and floppier.. and my neck is wrinkled and my face has sagged!

I don't feel any different to my 20 yr old self inside but the outside looks more like my Mum by the day and that just feels weird! (and Mum has become Gran and that's weird too!)

I HATE IT, I hate it so much, 41 has hit me like a ton of bricks, I'm still 9 stone, but my hair is thinning and grey, nothing looks good, and my neck, my neck is crepey and has jowls when I smile, IT'S NOT ME.

I was always lovely, it's so hard not to be, it's not feminist in the slightest, but I was, I was beautiful. And honestly - girls 101 - don't rely on it - it goes, no matter how marvellous.

I'm now - older woman sexy - but that's shit too, never ever rely on your looks, they're on the way out before they've even begun.

And they're meaningless then. I have a daughter, she's six and lovely, I hope I will teach her that she is so much more. To not even care.

Best advice my mum ever gave me (so far) - throw away your mirrors. Judge yourself on how you feel and how you're reflected in your friends' eyes. Not on what you see in the mirror.

41, i HATE IT

I don't hate it or feel down.

In fact I am glad I am not in my 20's anymore.
Too much angst , and I lacked self esteem.
And we learn so much as we age.
Now in my mid 50s I have a good grasp of how people work, I can spot amyone lying very easily, not afraid to be assertive, I enjoy my own company, I have learned how to put on an amazing spread of food for guests while not busting a gut.
I am have finally got a handle on my financial situation, I feel confident speaking to bank managers and doctors.
I know the basics of the law, how to get a quickie dovorce, a mortgage, how to find the best car insurance.
I have learned how to enjoy the fun things in life, not to worry about the future ( it will happen with or without my anxiety) and that Ireally can wear pink crocs to Tesco without caring.

I don't mind getting older at all. Certainly no rage or sorrow.

If you think that looking beautiful is important and that young is obviously prettier than old, then yup, you've set yourself up to be miserable. The situation really is doom & gloom because ageing is inevitable and you have a permanent battle on your hands.

Or you can adopt a different value system & find immense pleasure in whatever age you happen to be. The choice is entirely yours.

Are you me????

i too have aged ten years in the last two. i am 45.

facially

though i sometimes think i have been seeing someone if my 25 year old self in the mirror by default but have really seen what i look like in recent pics.

i blame cameras on phones. i am of those who can take effortless selfies. Mine take an editing app and two arm lengths to look vaguely 'fun'

Personally at almost 50 I'm at a really good place in my life. Physically not so much - whiskers that pop up every 12 hours, hot flushes and sweats are awful, and all those bloody aches and pains that just don't go away like they used to. I'm currently the proud owner of bursitis in my hip, residual pain from a cricked neck (I didn't do anything, fgs, just woke up with it), a mouthful of ulcers for no apparent reason and a fat swollen finger ditto.

What hacks me off that it all takes so long to go.....

I haven't time to be worrying about my appearance, I'm too busy complaining about aches & pains!

my hips hurt
i keep forgetting the names of things.
dd thinks it's hilarious

I'm 42 and it takes my face a good half an hour longer to unfold in the morning. I also have a horrible hands due to many years of looking after horses. My hair has become so fine it looks like golum. But I make the most of what I've got and remind myself that I look at photos of me 10 years ago and I look lovely, so 10 years from now I'll look at me now and think the same. Ergo today I'm lovely