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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this reception teacher to back down?

374 replies

kathryng90 · 07/05/2015 20:46

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

OP posts:
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TeenAndTween · 07/05/2015 20:49

YABU (sorry). Toothless is a dragon not a bear. DS needs to take a bear in. Perhaps Toothless could come to meet him at pickup time.

cashewnutty · 07/05/2015 20:49

What a horrible teacher. Of course your DS can take Toothless to school.

Meow75 · 07/05/2015 20:49

How on earth is this person able to teach such young children without, apparently, the ability to be flexible about arrangements and compromise where necessary.

Surely, the word "bear" is just a generic coverall term. Why have a theme at all?

That teacher is a muppet - tell them that dragons like tea and cake just as much as bears!!!

no73 · 07/05/2015 20:49

I'd have said 'like people teddy bears come in all shapes, sizes and outfits and my DS will bring his favourite teddy and please do not be so rude in future, upsetting a small child over something so insignificant as the race of a teddy bear is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself'

What a nasty teacher!!

EponasWildDaughter · 07/05/2015 20:50

Really?

If this is real i would be telling the teacher that the toothless dragon will be attending the pic nic and that if she makes a fuss about it i will create merry hell be going over her head about it.

What is wrong with her?

VashtaNerada · 07/05/2015 20:50

Teacher sounds like an arse Angry but I think you need to present a united front with them though. Is there any way round it? Any way of making one of his teddies sound more exciting?

bobajob · 07/05/2015 20:51

Just bring a bear. Explain to your son it isn't "bring a toy", it's "bring a bear". I don't see the big deal tbh.

RunRunAsFastishAsYouCan · 07/05/2015 20:51

No yanbu the teacher sounds awful. Why does it matter if it's a dragon or a bear, I presume it's still furry.
I don't think my ds has ever owned a bear just a monkey.
Take the dragon and tell her she's being ridiculous.

TheAuthoress · 07/05/2015 20:51

YANBU, she's being a dick. What does it matter what type of bear anyone brings?

RufusTheReindeer · 07/05/2015 20:51

She does sound unnecessarily harsh

I wonder if she would go into Build a Bear and complain that they were breaking the trade description act (that might not actually be a thing)

SimpleSi · 07/05/2015 20:52

I think the teacher might need to chill a little. Suggest it would be a valuable opportunity for them teach about diversity. "We're not all cuddly bears, some of us are miserable old dragons, but we're all equally valid members of society."

x2boys · 07/05/2015 20:53

When ds2 had something similar last year I sent him in with Scooby doo he doesn't do toys at the best if times he has asd and certainly not teddies it was the best I could do no one complained !

bobajob · 07/05/2015 20:54

Sometimes you are asked to bring in particular things to school, or dress as a particular thing.

It generally isn't a free for all. You just have to join in with the theme.

If I was the teacher I wouldn't back down. I'd tell him to put his toy in his bag and get on with the teddy bears picnic.

Glitterspy · 07/05/2015 20:54

Agree with pp, teacher is being bearist and needs to calm down.

fairyfuckwings · 07/05/2015 20:55

That's a bit weird of the teacher. My daughter did this I'm reception too and she took a rabbit which was absolutely fine!

Rosa · 07/05/2015 20:55

Hang a sign round bears neck saying Bear is sick so I came instead. Or I am a bear in dragons clothing . The kid is 4 FGS and he should be able to take what he wants.

TeenAndTween · 07/05/2015 20:55

All the responses above (apart from mine) ABVU.

They have probably been doing a week themed on this story or bears in general, finishing with a Teddy Bears Picnic. If she lets them all bring in a random toy, it defeats the object.

Your DS needs to learn this is a school thing, albeit a fun one. There will be loads of similar themed things over the next few years, he really does need to stick to the rules, it isn't fair on the other parents and children who do, if you let him take a dragon to a bears picnic.

Also YABU to keep referring to Toothless as a bear.

ScarlettDarling · 07/05/2015 20:55

Oh for goodness sake...I taught reception for years and every single year we had a teddy bears picnic. Never once would I have insisted that children had to bring in a BEAR! Surely teddy bear is a coverall term for cuddly toys?!

I'd not speak to the teacher any more about it. Id send in Toothless and I'm sure he won't ruin the picnic.

littlejohnnydory · 07/05/2015 20:55

YANBU, the point is for the children to enjoy the activity and learn. He will do both if he takes Toothless. He will do neither if he's sad. Silly cow.

BarbarianMum · 07/05/2015 20:57

All soft toys are called "teddies" in my part of the world. Ds2's teddies include 2 tortoises, 1 tiger, 1 duck and a bear! The soft toy that comes home from Beavers to spend the weekend with spy on you is called "Beaver Bear". It is very clearly a toy Beaver.

Teacher is horrible. First thing they do with fairy tales in reception/Y1 is start rewriting them in their own words. So by next week it may well be 'Goldilocks and the 3 dragons' anyway!

TheWintersmith · 07/05/2015 20:58

Take an actual bear

That'll learn em

< not helpful>

soapboxqueen · 07/05/2015 20:58

Well if it's a dragon, it isn't a bear is it. There's no such thing as a dragon bear unless it's a weird chimaera. Tbh if it were my child I would have just said 'toothless isn't a bear'.

However, with my teacher hat on, I certainly wouldn't have stopped a child (no matter what age) from bringing their favourite soft toy for such an event. I've really got better things to worry about.

I might even have discussed how toothless may have reacted differently to the thieving burglar that is Goldilocks. He might have used his fiery breath to burn her bum Grin mwa ha ha

MissingYouSoMuch · 07/05/2015 20:59

and that if she makes a fuss about it i will create merry hell be going over her head about it

Really? I am sure the head would be delighted having to deal with a mother having a tantrum over a dragon. Hmm

jendot2 · 07/05/2015 21:00

Love the message about using it as an opportunity to teach diversity. I would fling that one at the teacher. Brilliant!!

Alternatively I would make toothless a bear costume so he can go in disguise.

What a terrible attitude the teacher has. I would not be putting up with this. Bear, dragon who cares!!!

fearandloathinginambridge · 07/05/2015 21:00

My son has never had a teddy bear (evil mother emoticon) his favourite soft toy was a flipping whale and that's what he took to school for the teddy bear picnic do. I think the teacher is being ridiculous.