Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this reception teacher to back down?

374 replies

kathryng90 · 07/05/2015 20:46

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 07/05/2015 21:15

Probably when places like Build-a-BEAR started stuffing unicorns, rabbits, dragons, cats, beavers and dogs.

It's a bloody toy. Teacher is going to have a right hissy fit when all the girls turn up in Disney princess outfits on National Book Day.

SimpleSi · 07/05/2015 21:16

I think the messages about picking you're battles is sensible. I'd try & persuade your kid to take a bear (& if they won't just send the dragon anyways). Parents have a responsibility to support school even when they do stupid things, but equally school can explain the importance of their own petty rules to kids. It can sometimes be a valuable lesson in learning that sometimes we should question rules & sometimes we just have to put up with them. Don't know if that actually helps.

anothermakesthree · 07/05/2015 21:16

But a teddy's bear picnic isn't a gathering of dragons....just saying

PesoPenguin · 07/05/2015 21:16

DS took a giraffe to his teddy Bears picnic (well not just any old giraffe, his favourite teddy). I didn't even think anything of it. It's not very inclusive, not all children have bears or parents who can afford/ be bothered to go out and get one at the drop of a hat.

elsabelle · 07/05/2015 21:16

If you complain you will be embarrassing yourself totally in front of the teaching staff and the Head.
Lots of families and children have real problems and issues. A parent who cant say no to a 4 year old over a toy dragon is not one of those issues. You'll be wasting everyone's time and your poor DS will become known amongst staff as that boy with "the difficult mother".

MissingYouSoMuch · 07/05/2015 21:18

Elaborate on the 'merry hell' you would cause then Eponas

Staywithme · 07/05/2015 21:19

Send this in with him. Wink

To ask this reception teacher to back down?
rembrandtsrockchick · 07/05/2015 21:19

"Dear Miss xxxx

My son will be bringing his dragon to the school's Teddy Bear Picnic. His name is Toothless.
He is a dragon undergoing transition to become a bear. In his heart he has always been a bear and has lived as a bear for the last two years. After much struggle and sadness he has now decided to bite the bullet and undergo the trauma of surgery to become a bear in body as well as in mind. I am sure that you, as a responsible and caring teacher will do your best to make sure that Toothless is treated with respect and kindness whilst in your care.

Yours sincerely

A concerned mother."

VelvetRose · 07/05/2015 21:19

I've done loads of teddy bear's picnics with reception classes and it has never occured to me to be this controlling about which species of cuddly toy they choose to bring! An odd response from the teacher. I wouldn't rush to the HT by any means but it would put me off her!

Volvox · 07/05/2015 21:19

Can someone explain the point of a teddy bear picnic?

Staywithme · 07/05/2015 21:21

rem

Grin
VirginiaTonic · 07/05/2015 21:21

So teacher is doing a topic about Goldilocks and the three bears, and asks the children to bring their bears?

What is the point if the children bring every cuddly animal under the sun except bears? Makes it pointless and irrellevant to the teacher's lesson.

You and son need to get over it and do as the teacher asked. It will be a good lesson in how you can't do whatever you fancy for him.

MissingYouSoMuch · 07/05/2015 21:21

Volvox Fun? Something nice for five year olds to do? Links to children's literature?

Loric · 07/05/2015 21:23

I have... I mean my my son has the build a bear toothless. If you take his wings off he looks like a bear enough the teacher won't notice

redskybynight · 07/05/2015 21:24

I don't get why this is an issue. Presumably this has not been the first "bring in an object related to our theme" or the first "dress up as whatever this week's seemingly random theme is". Your child has been asked to bring in a specific object, he can't just decide he wants to bring in something else. Same ways as if this was Viking dress up he wouldn't come in dressed as Superman even if that was his favourite costume.

If he'd unknowingly turned up with the dragon and the teacher had been mean to him, I would certainly be complaining. But that's not what's happened. The teacher has just explained the expectations and toy dragons don't meet them.

EponasWildDaughter · 07/05/2015 21:25

Meggymoo - and that if she makes a fuss about it i will create merry hell be going over her head about it

You are one of THOSE mothers. If this is what you're like over a triviality of being asked to bring a bear instead of a dragon I dread to think what you'll be like in the future. You will no doubt be one of THOSE mothers who attempts to undermine everything a teacher says. I feel sorry for your Ds's future teachers as well as his current one.

What i'll be like in the future? You mean when my DCs are older? Grin I have 2 x 20 somethings, 1 late teen and a one year old. I have worked at a school as a TA for 8 years. I think making a FOUR year old cry over something so bloody trivial is pathetic teaching and yes, i'd be damn angry about it. You seem to be one of THOSE posters.

missing - my merry hell would be entirely spontaneous. It would depend on what the teacher said to me.

Stampysladygarden · 07/05/2015 21:26

The teacher is being very UR.

And if it's a teddy bears picnic based on the song, then you are urged to go in disguise anyway. I'm sure a bear 'disguised' as a dragon would be adequate.

I'm far too invested in this woeful tale.

PurpleSwift · 07/05/2015 21:27

Really? Just take a bear. I wouldn't risk taking his favourite toy anyway

littlejohnnydory · 07/05/2015 21:27

Parents have a responsibility to support school even when they do stupid things

No, parents have a responsibility to stand up for their children and support them when they are the victim of "stupid things".

BarbarianMum · 07/05/2015 21:27
BigRedBall · 07/05/2015 21:28

Fgs, tell your child to stop crying and coax him around to take a proper bear. Life lesson learnt. Teachers are to be respected and mummy won't always be able to save you.

tethersend · 07/05/2015 21:28

"If it HAS to be a teddy bear, then the school should provide teddy bears.

So because one child wants to bring in a different toy from what was asked, none of the other children should be able to bring their own bears in and should be given a "school bear" instead?

What a great idea."

At most of the schools I've taught in, if you need a resource for a lesson, you provide it; relying on the children/parents to provide something which is essential for a lesson is just too risky, as most are unable to do so.

I wonder what this teacher would do in such a school; hence my comment. If a specific resource is essential to a lesson, the school should provide it. If the school cannot, then be aware that what comes in from home may not be exactly what you want. It's quite simple.

nothought4me · 07/05/2015 21:28

Send him in with tpothless explaining that he was inspired by this,

Tizwailor · 07/05/2015 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MirandaGoshawk · 07/05/2015 21:30

YANBU. This is awful. I can't believe a teacher would be so petty.