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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this reception teacher to back down?

374 replies

kathryng90 · 07/05/2015 20:46

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

OP posts:
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CinderellaRockefeller · 07/05/2015 21:01

Really? People woild go in all high and mighty about it threatening to go over the teacher's head and speaking to them like dirt? Like they're an errant servant who has dared to disappoint the precious prince?

They're doing Goldilocks and the three bears. so they can bring in bears. For a bear's picnic. It's not bring a toy to school day.

LadyDeirdreWaggon · 07/05/2015 21:01

Poor wee guy. What's the point in upsetting him to the point of tears over something so petty?

Reekypear · 07/05/2015 21:02

Ffs really....having a picnic is learning...bloody hell....my kids had 100s of picnic before they ever went to school. With the shitty sats results they better crack on than making some poor kid cry Ffs over a teddy.

Fools.

DinkyDye · 07/05/2015 21:02

Ok Teen Hmm

Take in the dragon OP. It wouldn't have even occurred to me to ask permission about toothless tbh!

midnightvelvet01 · 07/05/2015 21:03

We had similar last week in Year 1 & my DS2 brought in his stuffed dinosaur, no problems.

However I would never let my DS2 take in his all time absolute favourite bear. Just in case it gets lost or someone pinches it (DS1 took a loved toy into school once & it was nicked from his drawer). If the favourite toy disappears for whatever reason then its very unlikely you will get it back. Take in one that won't stop him sleeping if its gone.

Nowfeeltheneedtopost · 07/05/2015 21:03

What did you say to the teacher when she said to you that he needed to "find a bear"? The way you have described the situation certainly makes the teacher sound harsh. But, as others have said, there are sometimes certain activities in school which relate to themes or stories which have been discussed. My DD's school has "bring a toy" activities when anything goes but also has specific requests which are more along the lines of "if you have a teddy near, bring it for the goldilocks and the three bears party". You will know, far more than the rest of us simply reading you thread, which this is.

tethersend · 07/05/2015 21:03

Blimey.

I hope she never teaches children who don't have any bears at home to bring.

tanukiton · 07/05/2015 21:03

make a bear mask and put it on toothless. I think she is mean.

catgirl1976 · 07/05/2015 21:03

YANBU

That teacher is being dreadful

What does it matter if it's a bear or a dragon? It's his teddy.

Take one of these

To ask this reception teacher to back down?
bobajob · 07/05/2015 21:04

Kids cry and stamp their feet over all sorts of things - teachers can't spend all day avoiding saying "No" because the children are used to getting their own way.

The theme is bears. Not dragons, not Elsa, not Spiderman.

tanukiton · 07/05/2015 21:05

I would also warn against taking your number one favorite to school in case he decided to go for a walk about...

catgirl1976 · 07/05/2015 21:05

Or if you must find a bear, perhaps this one?

To ask this reception teacher to back down?
elsabelle · 07/05/2015 21:06

YABU. This is school not a play date. Its a teddy bears picnic linked to the school topic. There are probably lots of other kids who have another toy theyd prefer to take but they are taking a teddy bear because thats what theyve been asked to do. Thats a good lesson to be learning in Reception and indeed in life.

MissingYouSoMuch · 07/05/2015 21:07

Hilariously helpful Catgirl Hmm

Justusemyname · 07/05/2015 21:07

What a horrible woman.

Good idea not to take his favourite though. Resell it on that basis but I'd be telling the teacher what I thought.

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 07/05/2015 21:08

and that if she makes a fuss about it i will create merry hell be going over her head about it

You are one of THOSE mothers. If this is what you're like over a triviality of being asked to bring a bear instead of a dragon I dread to think what you'll be like in the future. You will no doubt be one of THOSE mothers who attempts to undermine everything a teacher says. I feel sorry for your Ds's future teachers as well as his current one.

tethersend · 07/05/2015 21:08

Brilliant, catgirl Grin

CrystalHaze · 07/05/2015 21:09

I'd pick your battles as far as school goes - and this one doesn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things, so I'd save your firepower for something of greater significance.

TBH, I don't really understand how 'bear' and 'teddy' became catch-all terms for all cuddly toys. A bear is a bear, other cuddly animals are not bears or teddies, so why call them that?

tethersend · 07/05/2015 21:10

If it HAS to be a teddy bear, then the school should provide teddy bears.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/05/2015 21:11

Did she honestly say, Find a bear?

Hmm
notquiteruralbliss · 07/05/2015 21:11

Um Vashta, why on earth should the OP need to present a united front with the teacher against her 5yo? I honestly don't get that.

MissingYouSoMuch · 07/05/2015 21:12

Just
Yes..... really horrible. She is taking the children out for a themed picnic and the children have been told to bring in a bear. Dreadful.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/05/2015 21:14

If it HAS to be a teddy bear, then the school should provide teddy bears.

So because one child wants to bring in a different toy from what was asked, none of the other children should be able to bring their own bears in and should be given a "school bear" instead?

What a great idea.

EponasWildDaughter · 07/05/2015 21:14

Never said anything about going to the head Confused.

There'll be someone at the school between the reception teacher and the head of the school.

I wouldn't have a 'tantrum' either.

elsabelle · 07/05/2015 21:15

If you complain you will be embarrassing yourself totally in front of the teaching staff and the Head.
Lots of families and children have real problems and issues. A parent who cant say no to a 4 year old over a toy dragon is not one of those issues. You'll be wasting everyone's time and your poor DS will become known amongst staff as that boy with "the difficult mother".

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