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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask this reception teacher to back down?

374 replies

kathryng90 · 07/05/2015 20:46

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

OP posts:
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SuburbanRhonda · 08/05/2015 18:46

the teacher also needs to pick her battles

But the teacher hasn't got a battle!

She organised a fun activity, asked the children to bring in probably the one toy most of them would be likely to have or get hold of without much bother, then the OP posts on here asking if she should get the teacher to "back down"! This is beyond surreal.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 08/05/2015 18:51

The child needs to understand that it is bring a bear, not, bring a soft toy, dragon, fairy, unicorn, sea lion or limpet ffs. It is YOUR job op to teach him this

hear hear!

too many parents, it seems, are not prepared to tell their DC "no". Too many are willing to create merry hell over every little thing that they disagree with rather than tell their little precious no, you dont get your way this time - and have no qualms about letting the child know they will have a go at the teacher for them. These type will be the ones all daily-mail-sad-faced on the front of the local paper when their DC are older and have been excluded because the parents "don't see why they are so strict on uniform/hair style rules" etc.

What happened to supporting the school?

There is a big difference between an end of term treat "cuddly toys picnic", for fun, which I have every year with my RAinbows and we have dolphins, unicorns, tigers and goodness knows what - and one expressly planned to fit in with a topic on the 3 bears.

DD did a half term on bears in reception - you might wonder how they spin it out to cover so long and every area of the curiculum, but it was brilliantly done. They made porridge (weighing and measuring), masks, made up scripts with bear puppets on sticks, went for a walk in the woods and looked at types of trees birds and flowers, had lots of stories about different bears from winnie the pooh to paddington and of course Goldilocks & the 3 bears, including learning "we're going on a bear hunt" in French. They compared sizes of bears, types of materials for building houses/beds/chairs, talked about strength, softness and other physical properties and ranked other objects in terms of big/small/medium sized, like the 3 bears.

If the teacher says yes to a dragon toy, she has to say yes to a noisy robot next.

If OP makes a fuss about this, instead of dealing with it sensibly she will be branded One Of Those Parents, and deservedly so.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 08/05/2015 19:12

3 bears..... I'm guess they upped this to 30 bears somewhere along the line?

feckitall · 08/05/2015 19:33

A friends DS,when he was little, took a radio and a spanner to bed as his 'cuddly'
Never had/wanted bears...
I wonder what the teachers would make of that! Grin

kathryng90 · 08/05/2015 19:39

Wow what a lot of comments about a bear/non bear.

We took toothless. Waited in line up to go into school with an assortment of toys and kids. I saw a cat, rabbit,frog,Spider-Man and a ninja turtle. All cuddly toys. Teacher walked down line making suitable small talk about the kids choices and chatting with any parent who needed to. No comments about non bears.

'Ah I see you have toothless DS. I hope he doesn't fight with (named boy in fronts) turtle'

No dramas everyone happy. If I had made him take a bear how would being surrounded by non bears have made him feel?

No seriously let's end beargate here!!

Thanks for taking time to reply it's made interesting reading. I think some of you are scary and wouldn't like to meet you in RL!

OP posts:
littlejohnnydory · 08/05/2015 19:47

Oh, FFS. The child is four. Would you prefer him to have an enriching learning experience in which he gets to feel excited and participate or an experience in which he just feels sad about not being allowed his favourite? Depends which the teacher wants him to get out of the experience. Way to dampen a young child' s enthusiasm and desire to learn. I can't imagine dd's lovely reception teacher being so silly.

littlejohnnydory · 08/05/2015 19:48

So glad that's how 'beargate' ended, OP!

AmateurSeamstress · 08/05/2015 19:55

Good call OP.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 08/05/2015 19:58

Phew! Just read this all the way through what an emotional roller-coaster!

Glad it had a happy ending OP!

Roobo · 08/05/2015 19:59

Yes I definitely think your DS should be able to take in whatever toy he fancies.

She expected you to tell your son no?! Shock What a fucking bitch!

Poor teacher. Tried to do something nice for the children and this is what she is met with.

I'm moving to Reception next year

OhGood · 08/05/2015 20:00

Forgot to say, 'toothless' = brilliant name for dragon.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 08/05/2015 20:00

Don't know why the teacher behaved like that though. Why she only told your son it had to be a bear, and then was all nonchalent the next day. He'd have been horribly upset if he was the only one who'd stuck to the "rule" and everyone else didn't and had stuff they wanted, that sort of thing happened to me all the time when I was little, made me feel like the world was terribly unfair!

TheMagnificientFour · 08/05/2015 20:00

I knew very few children would have a 'proper' bear Grin

Roobo · 08/05/2015 20:01

Crossed posts!

glittertits · 08/05/2015 20:06

I want a Toothless so much now! He is SOOO cute!

www.buildabear.co.uk/shop/productDetail.aspx?ProductSKU=421601

SoldierBear · 08/05/2015 20:06

The dragon is marketed by the manufacturer as Toothless.
It's a tie in to a film and presumably is the name of the dragon character.

Lovemylittlebear · 08/05/2015 20:09

Could you put his dragon teddy in some sort of teddy bear costume lol? Or stick a teddy mask over the dragons face? I think the teacher is being a DICK as the kids are only little. X

bemybebe · 08/05/2015 20:09

Yanbu, this is a perfect lesson in "do what you told, end of". What harm is in taking the child's favourite toy to a freaking picnic? Breaking a "theme"? So what. I would not make fuss, just at the first opportunity make a comment to the head that the teacher is an idiot.

JillyCoopersGreyhound · 08/05/2015 20:12

In view of the update wonder whether the teacher is an MNer and has read this thread?

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 08/05/2015 20:14

I would not make fuss, just at the first opportunity make a comment to the head that the teacher is an idiot.

That's a bit contradictory. You wouldn't make a fuss but tell a Head one of their Teachers is an idiot? Confused

grannytomine · 08/05/2015 20:15

Sanity ruled in the end, I hope he enjoyed the picnic.

CatsCantTwerk · 08/05/2015 20:22

If there is a topic at school involving Bears then only a Bear should be taken in. Bears are actually real, you know unlike Dragons who are fairytale beings Hmm

slithytove · 08/05/2015 20:32

Dragons aren't fairytale beings.

CatsCantTwerk · 08/05/2015 20:35

Oh sorry, toothless is real Grin

slithytove · 08/05/2015 20:40

Exactly! Very important he has a picnic takes stuffed toys too seriously Grin

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