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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this reception teacher to back down?

374 replies

kathryng90 · 07/05/2015 20:46

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

OP posts:
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Nanny0gg · 07/05/2015 21:31

Call me old-fashioned, but I always thought that a teddy was a bear not a random soft toy. And I don't understand why you called the toy his ' toothless dragon bear' . Just because it came from Build a Bear it doesn't make it an actual teddy bear. It makes it a soft toy.

If the children were asked to dress as pirates for a themed day, would you send him in dressed as Dennis the Menace?

I think the teacher could have found a work-around regarding Toothless, maybe inviting him as an 'observer' or something, but if every child brought in something not as asked, the whole point of the (presumably carefully planned) activity would be lost.

Loric · 07/05/2015 21:31

This is toothless with his wings on. Not too far from a teddy as it's based of the usual build a bear template only with a tail

To ask this reception teacher to back down?
monkina · 07/05/2015 21:32

How ridiculous?! Your poor boy. Of course the Dragon should go. The whole point of the teddy bears picnic should be for the kids to enjoy themselves. It completely defeats the object if the can't bring his favorite "teddy" who just happens to be a Dragon soft toy. Crazy!!!

I'd take the Dragon. 100% . and I'd tell teacher why in the morning!

TheTroubleWithAngels · 07/05/2015 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 07/05/2015 21:32

I have worked at a school as a TA for 8 years.

Then you should be aware HT's have more pressing issues to deal with than situations about a dragon from an over sensitive mother!

MissingYouSoMuch · 07/05/2015 21:33

I think making a FOUR year old cry over something so bloody trivial is pathetic teaching and yes, i'd be damn angry about it

Pathetic teaching? Talk about an over-reaction Hmm

Hardly the teachers fault that the child is crying because he has been told to bring a bear rather than a dragon. But hey..... kid cries, mum is advised to 'create merry hell', son gets his own way. Job done.

Italiangreyhound · 07/05/2015 21:33

You are not being unreasonable the teacher is an idiot!

Goldilocks and the three bears has little educational value, it is for entertainment. If he is in tears how well will be be entertained? Just another example of school being stupid for stupid's sake IMHO.

Of course if he starts thinking for himself at 4 where will it all lead to......

TheTroubleWithAngels · 07/05/2015 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CamelHump · 07/05/2015 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Italiangreyhound · 07/05/2015 21:34

Put a hat on it and defy her to prove it is a dragon! Can it breathe fire?

Thought not!

EponasWildDaughter · 07/05/2015 21:34

I'll say for the second time - i didn't say i'd approach the head teacher about it.

Hmm
temperamentalamongcorvids · 07/05/2015 21:36

He's 4, she's an adult, FFS. What a bitch.

Make a bear costume for toothless dragon. Or a goldilocks one.

EponasWildDaughter · 07/05/2015 21:36

Meggy and missing - is there no one else on the thread you'd like to copy and paste? I'm not the only one who agrees with the OP.

This may be one of those subjects folk will disagree about no matter what.

Thistledew · 07/05/2015 21:37

I wonder what I should have done in the OP's DS's situation when I was a child. I had plenty of cuddly toys (my favourite was a seal) but the only bear I had was 3ft tall! I wonder which the teacher would have preferred I brought.

herethereandeverywhere · 07/05/2015 21:38

What if you don't actually have a bear? We don't. We have a myriad of bunnies, dogs, dolls, Disney characters, lambs etc etc but by some twist of fate, no bear.

We've taken bunnies to teddy bears picnics before today so send Toothless. He's from Build a BEAR so that's close enough.

Honestly. And they say teachers are too busy. Is it always with this level of pointlessly-upsetting-small-children-type shit?

BarbarianMum · 07/05/2015 21:38
MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 07/05/2015 21:38

I'll say for the second time - i didn't say i'd approach the head teacher about it.

So, who would you approach?

SaucyJack · 07/05/2015 21:38

Tell her a Toothless is the bastard of Danaerys and Jorah and as such is half dragon and half bear.

CamelHump · 07/05/2015 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyMamita · 07/05/2015 21:39

YABU. "Bear" means "bear", not "soft toy".

This does not look like a fucking bear to me!

To ask this reception teacher to back down?
Bodyinpyjamas10 · 07/05/2015 21:39

Look op.

Yes the teacher sounds either inexperienced or a jobs worth

However to make a huge fuss about this really will make you seem petty and 'one of those parents'

Of course your son is 4 but you need up present a united front here for his sake. Making this a big deal could put him off school far more than the teachers attitude.

Tell him it's got to be a bear and that's that.

Tell him dragon is too previous to take up school, he might be lost of damaged.

Keep it upbeat. Your ds needs to know that you are happy with his teacher and the school or you may make him turn right off.

Please don't go to the HT. Seriously don't.

Reignbeau · 07/05/2015 21:39

Our preschool had a teddy bears picnic a while ago and DD ended up taking a cuddly minnie mouse because I forgot and that's what we happened to have in the car that morning Blush. She was far from the only child who didn't take an actual bear and nobody seemed bothered. I wouldn't send an important cuddly to school though, try to persuade him to take a less loved toy in.

MissingYouSoMuch · 07/05/2015 21:42

Eponas
You were the only one suggesting the OP created merry hell with someone more senior to the teacher over a friggin' soft toy at a picnic. Utterly ridiculous regardless of whether the teacher was BU.

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 07/05/2015 21:42

Eponas you were the only person I read that would create "merry hell". I think by making that statement you should really justify it. Personally I don't understand why someone who is a TA and understands teaching and education would "create Merry hell" over such a triviality.

Debs75 · 07/05/2015 21:42

It is a teddy bear picnic and forgive me if im wrong but toothless is a teddy from a build a bear shop so is a teddy, or at least a cuddly toy. What is the harm in taking him? None!
Take him it won't turn into a free for all and if the teacher says anything make sure you say 'i encourage my son to be inclusive, i thought that was what most schools taught now'