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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask this reception teacher to back down?

374 replies

kathryng90 · 07/05/2015 20:46

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

OP posts:

Thread gallery

tethersend · 07/05/2015 21:58

"As a teacher, we hate parents like this"

I'm a teacher. I don't hate parents like this.

I'm not keen on the ones who don't feed their children, or hit them, or abuse or neglect them. But those parents don't send stuffed bears in either

meissen · 07/05/2015 21:59

I'm shaking my head in wonderment at the number of parents on here who appear to be unable to say no to their precious little darlings.

bobajob · 07/05/2015 21:59

What about dress up days? Is it ok to send your child as a Ninja Turtle on Victorian day because they will cry otherwise?

fiveacres · 07/05/2015 22:01

Yes, yes meissen

elsabelle · 07/05/2015 22:01

I'm a teacher. I don't hate parents like this. I'm not keen on the ones who don't feed their children, or hit them, or abuse or neglect them.

Yes and those families have real issues and need our time and support. Which we have much less of if its being wasted on trivial issues like this.

SirChenjin · 07/05/2015 22:01

Dress up days serve no purpose whatsoever. If my child wanted to go as a Ninja Turtle on Victorian day then I'd let them. I cannot be bothered to argue with them over something so trivial.

UpWithPup · 07/05/2015 22:02

To me a teddy bear is just a stuffed toy. Its probably just a language thing.

And to be fair, the 'bears' in goldilocks aren't 'teddy bears' they're... y'know.... bear bears!

NurseRoscoe · 07/05/2015 22:02

whippy33 basically in one sentence what I took a paragraph to say!

SuburbanRhonda · 07/05/2015 22:02

Are we reading the same thread

Love that one.

You said if a resource was essential to the lesson, the school should provide it. I read the OP as saying that the teacher has asked children to bring in a toy bear from home, not to provide resources essential to a lesson.

PerspicaciaTick · 07/05/2015 22:03

I think the teacher needs to pick her battles. Not every child is lucky enough to have a selection of variously species cuddlies. Not every family can afford a new toy just because teacher says that only bears will be permitted.
Sometimes you have to go with the flow (although applies to parents too).

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 07/05/2015 22:04

I'm shaking my head in wonderment at the number of parents on here who appear to be unable to say no to their precious little darlings.

I see it every day when parents at reception demand to see me. Of course, I have nothing else to do with my time .

Momagain1 · 07/05/2015 22:04

And what if a child doesnt have an actual bear? Really and for truly, this is a possibility. Teddy bears picnic hasnt anything to do with Godilocks anyway. It is a completely different song/poem. If Teacher is going to start mashing things up like that, she needs to accept a few dragons (or stuffed otter in our case) might show up.

meissen · 07/05/2015 22:05

I'm so glad you agree with me fiveacres. Twice, in fact.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/05/2015 22:06

Dress up days serve no purpose whatsoever. If my child wanted to go as a Ninja Turtle on Victorian day then I'd let them. I cannot be bothered to argue with them over something so trivial.

You mean you can't be bothered to teach them that they can't always have their own way? Surely the path that would cause you the least bother is just to do what's been asked if you, rather than to constantly seek to undermine the teacher?

flanjabelle · 07/05/2015 22:07

I'm your shoes I would send ds in with a teddy bear as requested. Then after school take him to the park with toothless for a special picnic together. It's not fair that we expect kids to grow up so quickly, and in an ideal world it wouldn't matter, but I think you should teach him that in school there are certain rules and that he needs to listen to the teacher.

BigRedBall · 07/05/2015 22:07

It's a TEDDY bears picnic. A bear is a bear that could be any soft cuddly toy. A TEDDY is an actual bear looking soft cuddly toy. Someone will know the history of the word Teddy and can explain.

I don't understand why parents let their children cry over things like this. Yes it's sad and cute that 4 year old Johnny wants to take his dragon instead of a teddy to the teddy bears picnic. But don't encourage it.

Is it fair if Johnny gets to take his dragon and then Belinda and Tobias and Tilly cry throughout the day that they couldn't take their dollies or spiderman cuddly toys in? That would make me so angry as a teacher.

SirChenjin · 07/05/2015 22:07

Moma - totally agree. I don't think DS1 had a teddy bear - certainly not at the age of 4/5. He had a penguin and various other favourite toys and took them in for similar type of things - fortunately he had teachers with a sense of perspective who didn't give a shit what toys were brought in, so long as they didn't vibrate.

UpWithPup · 07/05/2015 22:08

I agree with Momagain1 - different stories!

BigBoobiedBertha · 07/05/2015 22:12

Strange thread. As far as I can see the teachers on here are saying they couldn't care less and yet there are still people saying it matters that it is an actual bear and that the teacher should be enforced it. It really doesn't matter though, does it? The point is it is a soft toy.

My DS1 took his beloved orange monkey and nobody batted an eye. It isn't like the child wants to take Lego or his favourite car, he is taking a soft toy so completely within the spirit of the event.

WeAllHaveWings · 07/05/2015 22:17

Build a bear dragon bear -- doesn't matter how often you put bear in the sentence it is still not a bear its a dragon!. What are you going to do when they are asked to build an igloo at home and your ds decides he wants to build a log cabin instead?

What happens if little Kyle wants to bring in his toy Buzz Light Year instead and was told no, but then your dc brings in a dragon.

Teacher is doing a fun thing with bears, why don't you just get him to take a bear in instead of making such a fuss. Yabu.

TheAuthoress · 07/05/2015 22:18

I'm actually a bit confused about what goldilocks and the three bears has to do with a teddy bears picnic? They don't actually have a picnic in the story, so how can it be goldilocks themed?
Anyhow, I would assume 'bring your child's favourite teddy' would mean any stuffed toy, and does it really matter of they are just going to be sitting having a picnic?

PerspicaciaTick · 07/05/2015 22:19

Perhaps the teacher will be wearing a blonde wig and stealing the children's food? Until a grizzly arrives and dismembers her. Lovely cuddly bears.

ApocalypseThen · 07/05/2015 22:20

Well, this will certainly teach the teacher to try to do something nice - it surely can't be worth this hassle to her.

I suspect what happened was that he said he'd bring in a dragon. As an adult who may not be a soft toy obsessive, she didn't really get the nature of the toy and said no. Cue tears, irate mummy and the feeling that really, life's too short.

TheAuthoress · 07/05/2015 22:21

momagain and upwithpup beat me to it! slow typer

LynetteScavo · 07/05/2015 22:22

Maybe the teacher should also tell Build-A-Bear to stop selling toothless dragons, because they are not bears.

Bloody hell, I bet the children will bring in all sorts of weird stuffed toys, which they think are bears.

I'd tell the teacher, that until a DNA test proves otherwise your DS will continue to believe Toothless is a bear.

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