Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to phone Jo Jingles leader who has started to blatently exclude & ignore my 2 year old, help me plan my approach:(

207 replies

indiana7 · 01/05/2015 14:01

My dd has been going to JJ since she was a baby & adores the classes so much , she has all the cds, the doll, talks about the classes & the leader constantly
However over the past few weeks the leader has taken an obvious dislike towards her & it's very obvious. My dd is extremely outgoing & loves to run up at the start of class with "her news" etc. She answers all the questions the leader asks but leader ignores dd & waits for someone else to answer & pretends they were they were the first to, always makes dd(who sits & waits patiently) wait until last for her instrument, then compliments other child on their "great waiting"! DD went for her nap their say X never heard me telling her the animals names, did I tell her loudly enough?( Dd is extremely articulate for age) then started crying saying X doesn't like me

It is breaking my heart, I was furious leaving the class as my dd was the only child that the leader didn't play with under the parachute, dd went over to where she was & sat beside her & she turned her back on her

I have had plenty of run ins with passive aggressive people throughout my life & have never stood up for myself. However I feel I have to fight dd's corner as she loves Jo Jingles & there is nothing else around here either for her to go to. Dd is so confident(something I never & still don't have) & I don't want that knocked out of her. Should I phone her & what do I say?

Ps leaving the class today another mom randomly commented to me "she does have her favourites doesn't she"

OP posts:
KatoPotato · 03/05/2015 17:09

Agree with reni this is a much better strategy than:

'I was going to stand up at one stage & say my dd is shouting out all the colours'

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 03/05/2015 17:20

If you're absolutely certain your DD isn't overly dominating the group and you're not being all PFB about it, then politely say to the leader at the start of the session "dd felt a bit left out last week. I'm sure it was nothing but could you keep an eye on her? Let me know if there IS anything of course..."

teawamutu · 03/05/2015 17:41

Absolutely, reni - however terrifically proud you are of your child's achievements (and I'm sure she is a lovely, bright little thing), you try to remember they're (a) just one of a group of 30 and (b) none of the other parents care about any kid that isn't their own. Long term, you do her no favours by encouraging her to think of the whole world as, basically, her audience.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 03/05/2015 19:41

Ds1 was shy, but smart as a whip. If he had been trying to answer first all the time I would have had a chat about it being great he knew the answer, but the other kids need to have their chance, too.

grannytomine · 03/05/2015 19:49

But the person leading the group isn't dealing with it properly, even if there is a problem with this little girl calling out. The child is 2, the adult who is turning her back on her is ...... well she is an adult who is getting money for running this group. That is rude apart from anything else.

reni1 · 03/05/2015 20:14

Yes, she is getting money, minimum wage or thereabout. No need for mums cheer leading their disruptive little ones from the sides, however clever the toddler. This isn't a talent contest, they are all going to master this. As for turning her back, try not to in a room full of toddlers, unless you tape them to the floor, someone is going to end up behind you.

Yes, you can vote with your feet, but a child taking over can make 10 others vote with theirs, too.

Marynary · 03/05/2015 21:01

Why do you assume she is getting minimum wage reni1? She is probably self employed and so what she receives depends on how many are in the group.
If I didn't think she was being very nice I would stop giving her my money.

Marynary · 03/05/2015 21:04

Why should OP silence her dd for giving the answers to the questions? That is ridiculous.

Coldcabbagestew · 03/05/2015 21:14

A difficult situation - I would probably be tempted to take my money elsewhere and find another class. I ended up doing this after a run in with a passive aggressive Monkey Music teacher.

clam · 04/05/2015 00:30

A difficult situation? Really?

OutragedFromLeeds · 04/05/2015 00:59

Clam do you work for Jo Jingles? You seem massively invested in this....

clam · 04/05/2015 09:48

Hmm Eh? Barely even heard of it before this thread. But I just object to some of the more hysterical "sack her" responses on here, encouraging the OP (who has disappeared, I notice) to believe that her dx must have a round of applause for every answer she shouts out, possibly at the expense of other children in the group.

Allthatnonsense · 04/05/2015 09:59

Life is too short. Find another class.

momtothree · 04/05/2015 10:12

Why should she silence her ..... we all know the loud show off kid. Yes she knows her colours. Have u met an adult that doesnt? Well done great. Its the attitude that annoys other parents and DD will end up with no invites ad competitive moms ate wearing.

gotthemoononastick · 04/05/2015 11:39

I feel for your Mother heart OP.As the gran of toddlers who adore their dance teachers and cannot wait to go,I would be so upset if they were sidelined.Yes,even the two year old will pick up on negative feelings from her beloved teacher.

If you lived near me I would accompany you to this class, see what is going on and if this is as you say,we could flounce off after I have said my piece to the whole class and find another place!

As you see I am the loon gran of perfect little children!

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/05/2015 13:19

moononastick

What would you do if the op was wrong?
Also how would you know what has gone on on previous weeks?

Marynary · 04/05/2015 14:06

Why should she silence her ..... we all know the loud show off kid.

OP's child is TWO. All children at that age think the world revolves around them (whether or not they are loud about it). It doesn't suggest that they will be a "loud show off kid" with no party invites when they are older and there is no need to wear down her self confidence or be unkind to them.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 04/05/2015 15:19

Yes it's normal for a two year old to think they are the centre of the universe but it's the role of the adults in their lives to help them learn to integrate into group situations. And sometimes that does involve silencing them briefly for others to have a couple of turns.

It'll be an easier lesson to learn at this age with the support of a parent than it will at the hands of her peers when she starts school.

Marynary · 04/05/2015 15:52

Yes it's normal for a two year old to think they are the centre of the universe but it's the role of the adults in their lives to help them learn to integrate into group situations.

I think that the vast majority of them work that they aren't the center of everything themselves as they get older, as part of normal development. There is no need to put them down when they are toddlers just to make sure.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/05/2015 16:02

But how many other 2 year olds should be ignored for the sake of the op's child?

momtothree · 04/05/2015 16:08

Ok - if the other moms have noticed that DD is pushy and mom is also pushy hey she knows all the colours and its the moms that arrange play dates and parties they wont want a parent there who thinks DD knows at all and takes centre stage all the time. So not about a 2 year old but perception from others.

clam · 04/05/2015 16:11

"x never heard me saying the animals names. Did I say them loudly enough?"
Maybe there are a couple of other children from the group who said something similar to their mums, like "x never heard me saying the names of the animals because that other girl kept shouting them first." I wonder if those mums are also considering phoning the leader to complain about their children being sidelined?

Marynary · 04/05/2015 16:13

Who says that the other two year olds were ignored? I used to go to a Jo Jungles class with youngest dd over 10 years ago and unless it has dramatically changed I can't see how other two year olds would suffer because one of them was answering questions. They all have their parents with them. They all have the opportunity to sing, play instruments go under the parachute etc. The only ones who caused an issue were the ones trying to escape, or screaming.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/05/2015 17:38

Marynary
"Who says that the other two year olds were ignored?"

If the OP's two year old is not to be ignored then someone else's two year old will have to be ignored, moved in the line, pushed out (however you feel like terming it) for the OP's child to be the centre of attention.

Marynary · 04/05/2015 17:50

That is rubbish. The Leader shouldn't exclude/ignore anyone including OPs child.