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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to phone Jo Jingles leader who has started to blatently exclude & ignore my 2 year old, help me plan my approach:(

207 replies

indiana7 · 01/05/2015 14:01

My dd has been going to JJ since she was a baby & adores the classes so much , she has all the cds, the doll, talks about the classes & the leader constantly
However over the past few weeks the leader has taken an obvious dislike towards her & it's very obvious. My dd is extremely outgoing & loves to run up at the start of class with "her news" etc. She answers all the questions the leader asks but leader ignores dd & waits for someone else to answer & pretends they were they were the first to, always makes dd(who sits & waits patiently) wait until last for her instrument, then compliments other child on their "great waiting"! DD went for her nap their say X never heard me telling her the animals names, did I tell her loudly enough?( Dd is extremely articulate for age) then started crying saying X doesn't like me

It is breaking my heart, I was furious leaving the class as my dd was the only child that the leader didn't play with under the parachute, dd went over to where she was & sat beside her & she turned her back on her

I have had plenty of run ins with passive aggressive people throughout my life & have never stood up for myself. However I feel I have to fight dd's corner as she loves Jo Jingles & there is nothing else around here either for her to go to. Dd is so confident(something I never & still don't have) & I don't want that knocked out of her. Should I phone her & what do I say?

Ps leaving the class today another mom randomly commented to me "she does have her favourites doesn't she"

OP posts:
GobbolinoCat · 01/05/2015 20:49

Well if you read my post Boney you will see in a one off situation I didn't let other children be ignored.

But no I wouldnt be paying a franchise lots of ££ for such angst.

GobbolinoCat · 01/05/2015 20:49

Well if you read my post Boney you will see in a one off situation I didn't let other children be ignored.

But no I wouldnt be paying a franchise lots of ££ for such angst.

Tryharder · 01/05/2015 21:06

Difficult to say whether or not your concerns are genuine. But if you hand on heart feel that this woman does not like your DD, then withdraw her. No good reasoning with someone who is unprofessional and weird enough to dislike a 2 year old.

These sort of classes are crap anyway, exist only to fleece bored, competitive mums of PFBs out of ££££ and are a lot of the 'teachers' are only there because they perceive it as easy money & working school hours not because they have any real affinity or ability with kids.

fulltothebrim · 01/05/2015 21:11

These sort of classes are crap anyway, exist only to fleece bored, competitive mums of PFBs out of ££££

Totally agree.

ImperialBlether · 01/05/2015 21:12

What was that, GobbolinoCat? I didn't quite get it.

momtothree · 01/05/2015 21:36

You said your DD only answers when asked, but knows the answer and is ignored? Doesnt make sense. Maybe teacher turned her back to prevent her saying something? So people just dont gel .... You may want to stop over praising because she will find school even harder in a bigger class - A teachers job is to teach all the children colours and numbers letter -

Marynary · 01/05/2015 21:37

I personally wouldn't bother going again. It can't be nice to see your dd being treated the way she is at the moment. Is there really nothing else you could go to instead?

People keep calling the leader a teacher but she probably hasn't got any qualifications or training in teaching or looking after children. Perhaps she is just not very good with them. She certainly isn't very good with your DD.

clam · 01/05/2015 21:43

Please don't phone this woman. You will officially be classed as a complete loon by everyone who gets to hear about it.

clam · 01/05/2015 21:45

"I was going to stand up at one stage & say my dd is shouting out all the colours"

Hmm What?

TheWintersmith · 01/05/2015 21:55

I am not fond of pushy kids. Plenty others feel the same- including teachers

Yeah

Speaking as an outgoing person who was certainly guilty of getting a bit enthusiastic till I learned to temper it a little - it used to really upset me as a little kid when a teacher just took near instant exception to me.

It seemed inexplicable, and I'd rather just have had assistance to manage that enthusiasm tether than being cut out of stuff.

Longtalljosie · 01/05/2015 21:55

I had a similar situation when DD1 was 2, at baby sign. I loved the class but the woman was so cold to DD, never asked her anything and despite having an amazing memory for the names of every child in the class, always claimed not to know what her name was (just hers, every week). It was a drop in class and we took a break (co-incidence - not out of pique). When we came back she said to me "it's nice to see you, you find yourself wondering what you might have said". Yeah, bet you do sunbeam Angry.

I would tell her the truth, at the start of the next class, which is that your DD was tearful after the last class and thinks she doesn't like her. Don't be aggressive, just factual. If she doesn't get it sorted, you'll have to knock the class on the head.

clam · 01/05/2015 21:59

I find it most odd that a 2 year old would be able to articulate that she felt that someone didn't like her. Where on earth did she get that idea?

fulltothebrim · 01/05/2015 21:59

to manage that enthusiasm

wintersmith- you may see it as enthusiasm, but others see it as an insensitivity towards others. Always wanting to be top of the pile and have the loudest voice can be viewed as being inconsiderate.

GobbolinoCat · 01/05/2015 22:02
Blush

Agree they are not teachers just people doing job.

I would expect jolly person who is easy with dc doing I appreciate the issues but expect some one working with dc, to be abe to handle most types, in their group.

southeastastra · 01/05/2015 22:05

running baby groups is a minefield. when you run a nursery class it's easier as the parents aren't there all the time 'judging' you.

when i first started running groups some parents compained that my singing wasn't loud enough and i wasn't 'jolly' enough, it really is a baptism of fire

not for the fainthearted.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 01/05/2015 22:06

It's behaviour that shows a lack of empathy and a big dose of being egocentric. Not unusual at 2! If she were 8 it would be unusual. Ds' teacher does a great line in selective hearing.

However, I would encourage not to shout out and to put her hand up if she knows the answer. It's extremely frustrating for the other parents/kids if the answer is 'out there' before they get a chance.

Something you and she can get out of the class is praising others. Lots of 'let's see who else knows the answer' 'yay for bobby' etc. make it more collaborative.

CrapBag · 01/05/2015 22:08

"I find it most odd that a 2 year old would be able to articulate that she felt that someone didn't like her. Where on earth did she get that idea?"

This crossed my mind too. Both of mine were really good talkers and they wouldn't have even thought of this let alone expressed it at that age. I wonder if some projection is going on.

fulltothebrim · 01/05/2015 22:10

I don't know why any parent would want to put a 2 year old into such a structured educational environment like this anyway. They have 14 years at school to come.
Let them enjoy their toddlerhood.

GobbolinoCat · 01/05/2015 22:12

Full..its supposed to be fun for toddler and parent which is why I would urge op to drop whole thing.

I think toddler groups are better because they can run free, and rub up against each other, and learn from all that.

However 40 mins or whatever JJ is once a week, hardly ed structured environment, everything toddler do is learning for them.

LaLyra · 01/05/2015 22:14

I think it really depends what is going on. Is your DD shouting out all of the answers? If so then, although she's not handled it brilliantly, it's understandable that the leader is trying to allow the other children a turn.

If that's what it is I'd ring her and ask her how you can work together to make sure that your DD doesn't dominate the class, but also doesn't leave feeling left out.

It's quite difficult to see sometimes when your own child is dominating. I only realised quite how overpowering one of my twin girls was I watched a home video from a birthday party. That was one of my girls over another of my girls - it must be harder to see sometimes if its your only child I think and that's just how they always are.

If your daughter is waiting patiently putting up her hand or holding up her instrument and is being ignored for the whole class then that's completely out of order. In that case I wouldn't even speak to the leader, I'd just move elsewhere.

countingdown · 01/05/2015 22:14

Did you call?!

maroonedwithfour · 01/05/2015 22:16

Its bore jingles. Nothing worse than an attention stealing child. Wait till dd starts school. Get over it.

fulltothebrim · 01/05/2015 22:21

gobbolinocat- of course it is a structured educational environment!

This is taken from the Jo Jangles web site-

The aim of Jo Jingles is to encourage learning and development through structured classes and all of our sessions feature educational themes and a variety of activities...Jo Jingles programmes are designed with the Early Learning goals in mind.... Personal Social & Emotional Development...Routine within classes encourages turn taking

clam · 01/05/2015 22:21

Meanwhile, in other news, over 6000 people, including mothers with 2 year olds are now known to have died in the Nepalese earthquake.

KatoPotato · 01/05/2015 22:22

*"I was going to stand up at one stage & say my dd is shouting out all the colours"

hmm What?*

This...