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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to complain about these mothers?!

380 replies

Lindsay81 · 26/04/2015 12:13

AIBU to complain at the gym reception about mothers that bring their >6 year old sons into ladies changing rooms, despite there being signs to say this is not acceptable over this age AND family changing rooms being available?

After my workout I shower and change. I don't linger over this or choose to dry my hair completely in the buff (LOL) but nor do I want to cart all my stuff into one of those cubicles. I dry myself and get dressed. This is quite difficult to do with a 10year old boy's eyes nearly popping out his head due to him staring at you. I feel I should in some way keep my towel pinned to my sides with my elbows, while simultaneously attempting to pull my underwear on, resembling some sort of demented T-Rex.

Are you a mother that does this? If so, 1) Know that I detest you and 2) WHY?! Go into the family changing rooms!

AIBU to complain, especially about the ones that do it weekly?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 26/04/2015 12:15

Are there enough family changing rooms?

Sounds like you going into a cubicle would be the easiest option

Justusemyname · 26/04/2015 12:15

YANBU to complain about the ten year olds. Unless a staff member can physically tell them to leave I'm not sure what more can be done as you'll always get people who think the signs don't apply to them.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 26/04/2015 12:18

How do you know how old the boys are? Age can be very difficult to gauge.

I don't do it because the pool we go to has unisex all cubicle changing rooms (but family cubicles tend to be hard to get - used to give me the rage when I had 3 kids under 6 but the only family cubicles were hogged by 2 parents insisting on going in together with one older child, or so it always seemed. ..)

Probably nobody cares whether you detest them.

Buxhoeveden · 26/04/2015 12:19

Over 6? Up to what age?

Buxhoeveden · 26/04/2015 12:20

(Detestation is a bit strong, isn't it?)

GGabcd · 26/04/2015 12:21

This is why I just don't bother to go to the gym. I can't take the angst.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 26/04/2015 12:21

Yanbu. If there are family rooms they should use them. Equally they should teach their kids not to stare!

ZenNudist · 26/04/2015 12:25

Any staring should be raised there and then. Just say "please don't stare at me", end of. I doubt a 10yo is coming into ladies changing room. More likely you can't judge age. My 4yo looks like a 6yo. I think it's ok up to about 8, maybe. Then again if you uncomfortable, just go in changing room. What's to stop anyone staring at you?

cleanmyhouse · 26/04/2015 12:27

I'd be inclined to say "its not appropriate to have your sons in here" then swan around in the buff until they start feeling uncomfortable and fuck off. If they say anything to you, point out the sign.

I don't see why you should be made feel uncomfortable in a womens changing room. The clue is in the "womens" bit.

Floggingmolly · 26/04/2015 12:27

I wouldn't allow my 6 year old to go into the male changing rooms by himself. If there aren't any family rooms, what are people supposed to do?

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 26/04/2015 12:28

They probably aren't staring just gazing about in a bored daze.

Obviously it's VU to take boys close to puberty into a women's open plan changing room, but places hardly ever have enough family rooms, and I rather imagine these are mums on their own with boys of 5 or 6 who's age and level of interest in her the OP is misjudging. My DS1 easily looked 9 at age 6 but wouldn't have been brave enough to go alone into the men's changing room if it were separate and there were no family rooms.

We live in Germany and there is plenty of nudity at the open air pool in summer and my sons have zero interest in looking at adult women, they're just interested in getting in the water and searching to see if any of their friends are there.

I really doubt the OP is being oggled by 7 year olds.

StrawberryMojito · 26/04/2015 12:28

Yanbu but you're on a parenting website so you may not get much agreement. Yes complain and also if the 10 year old is staring at you, I think you should have a word with the mother there and then.

CaptainHolt · 26/04/2015 12:28

If there aren't any family rooms, what are people supposed to do?

Wait until one becomes free?

cleanmyhouse · 26/04/2015 12:29

Oh. And I'm a mother of 2 sons and wouldn't dream of taking them into a womens changing room at that age.

Houseworkavoider · 26/04/2015 12:33

Yanbu (IMHO)
We are not an uptight household when it comes to nudity.
However, I do teach my dc the importance of considering others needs.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 26/04/2015 12:34

When I used to go to a gym with only open plan changing available I wouldn't have noticed if anyone was staring at me because I was so busy trying not to make eye contact with anyone else :o

Again I really don't think there are small boys oggling at the OP

Summeblaze · 26/04/2015 12:37

My DS has SN but not visible. He is 7 I couldn't possibly leave him to get changed on his own. If there are no family cubicles I would have to go in the communal changing area as I have a 3 year old too and there isn't enough room to swing a cat in there.

ImperialBlether · 26/04/2015 12:39

But it's clear there are family changing rooms from the opening post!

Woobeedoo · 26/04/2015 12:42

Used to get this a lot at my old gym - despite a decent family changing room and 5 large changing rooms within the open plan changing area (which were really nice as I checked).

I was a bit Blush and Shock when a boy clearly over the age limit of 6 pointed me out and hollered "Your boobs are bigger than my mums!". And no, I wasn't flashing them!!

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 26/04/2015 12:42

Most places that have family changing rooms only have 1 or 2 Imperial and they are usually very difficult to get.

AuntyMag10 · 26/04/2015 12:45

Yanbu, you should complain. If the family rooms are occupied then they should wait for it not think the rules then don't apply.

CaptainHolt · 26/04/2015 12:46

Why do people not believe the OP was being stared at when she says she was? Is it so hard to believe that a 8/9/10yo will have a higher than average curiosity about the human body coupled with lower than average subtlety?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 26/04/2015 12:47

Lol at PP who insist no one is staring at the OP, when they clearly weren't there...

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 26/04/2015 12:48

Cross posts Captain :)

clary · 26/04/2015 12:49

YANBU, I get annoyed by this too at the swimming pools I use.

The other week I asked someone how old the boy with them was - I was told he was 10 "but he's not going into the men's changing rooms because he's my little brother" Hmm

I reported it to a member of staff and have emailed to complain as it is a persistent issue. Not so much bothered about myself, what about 10-11 yo girls - they don't want boys from their class in there while they are changing, cubicles or not!