Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to complain about these mothers?!

380 replies

Lindsay81 · 26/04/2015 12:13

AIBU to complain at the gym reception about mothers that bring their >6 year old sons into ladies changing rooms, despite there being signs to say this is not acceptable over this age AND family changing rooms being available?

After my workout I shower and change. I don't linger over this or choose to dry my hair completely in the buff (LOL) but nor do I want to cart all my stuff into one of those cubicles. I dry myself and get dressed. This is quite difficult to do with a 10year old boy's eyes nearly popping out his head due to him staring at you. I feel I should in some way keep my towel pinned to my sides with my elbows, while simultaneously attempting to pull my underwear on, resembling some sort of demented T-Rex.

Are you a mother that does this? If so, 1) Know that I detest you and 2) WHY?! Go into the family changing rooms!

AIBU to complain, especially about the ones that do it weekly?

OP posts:
MissDemelzaCarne · 26/04/2015 12:49

YWNBU to complain.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 26/04/2015 12:52

YANBU.

Original poster
Lindsay81 · 26/04/2015 12:54

Thanks for all your advice. I can judge age fine, despite it being "more than likely" that I can't. lol

The easiest option is NOT for me to go into a cubicle because this is MY changing room, not a family changing room!

Based on the feedback which seems to be aligned with my thinking, I am now off to complain. At the same time I think I will also suggest that the under 6s, although welcome, should refrain from their incessant chatter which ehoes annoyingly around the changing room, pick up their sticky yoghurt pots and refrain from that pathetic shivering routine they do when they get out the pool.

:-)

OP posts:
ConnieBaby · 26/04/2015 12:56

I have 12&10yr old boys. There is no way they would even contemplate coming into a family changing room with me and their sister let alone getting changed in a women's communal changing area.
They go into the men's and have done since about 7 or 8.
I don't know many 10yr olds who would want to get dressed in a women's changing area.

Original poster
Lindsay81 · 26/04/2015 12:58

I doubt very much they do Connie. Their mothers do!

OP posts:
ConnieBaby · 26/04/2015 12:59

Lindsay, YABU with regards the incessant chatting/chattering. Do you have kids? They spend most of their waking lives incessantly chatting esp the girls. DD is only ever quiet when asleep although she would not be allowed a yoghurt pot in the changing room. That is what the cafe is for.

ConnieBaby · 26/04/2015 13:01

That post was meant to be lighthearted rather than catty.

Original poster
Lindsay81 · 26/04/2015 13:01

OMG lol

OP posts:
CaptainHolt · 26/04/2015 13:03

I remember seeing a boy on the verge of tears as his mother forced him into the women toilets at the zoo. He looked about 13/14 so I'm willing to concede he may have been a huge 10 year old, but he wasn't 6. Also he may have had a hidden disability but the whole showdown took place outside the disabled toilet and the very loud argument was along the lines of 'I don't know who is in the men's toilets - you aren't old enough yet'.

Dr0pThePirate · 26/04/2015 13:04

What do dad's with daughters aged 6 do?

Original poster
Lindsay81 · 26/04/2015 13:06

Dr0p... The family changing rooms!

OP posts:
Yarp · 26/04/2015 13:11

I would not be happy sending a 6 year old off into a changing room on his own, or a 7 or 8 year old. The sign should prompt people to use the Family rooms. My guess would be there are not enough of these. Most people would choose a large changing room over a poky one.

Boys are not a threat to you, so I would suggest going into a cubicle and speaking to managment about the dearth of Family rooms

You sound Charming, by the way.

CaptainHolt · 26/04/2015 13:14

Most people would choose a large changing room over a poky one

But you expect the OP to go into a poky one for the benefit of people who shouldn't be in the womens changing room at all?

fluffymouse · 26/04/2015 13:16

Age can be very hard to gage.

I know a 5 year old boy who wears age 10 clothes.

There probably weren't any family changing rooms available.

If there are cubicles available then why not use them if it bothers you so much?

Yarp · 26/04/2015 13:16

Yes, because she is one person, and a parent with a child is two people. Sorry you misunderstood my post, perhaps I was not clear enough.

Dr0pThePirate · 26/04/2015 13:18

Or do they take their daughters into the mens? Is that an issue too?

CaptainHolt · 26/04/2015 13:21

I interpreted your post as a woman should be made to adjust her behaviour in the womens changing room because someone else has decided the rules don't apply to them. Perhaps that's not what you mean.

A mother and a 10 yo child may be two people but that doesn't mean then have to ram themselves into a single person cubicle. The woman could still change in the communal area, or in a second cubicle, if there is one, or Shock the family changing room.

Yarp · 26/04/2015 13:27

I will explain what I meant

I am assuming that if there were family changing rooms available at that time, families would use them -they are bigger and more comfortable for more than one person

So I am assuming that a child in a changing room means no family changing room is available.

I am assuming that a grown wman can just take herself into a cubicle if she feels uncomfortable

I also think that many women would not be happy about sending their son into a changing room alone, in the absence of a family changing room

I also wonder about the distrust of little boys

Fourarmsv2 · 26/04/2015 13:27

Love our gym for this. Mens, ladies & family changing rooms.

Ladies is segregated into adult, family and anyone sections. So if I'm with DS2 (on cusp - 8y, no over 8's allowed in - he's not 'over 8'), I go in family section of ladies. By myself it's adults only.

I get naked when drying. If people in there are bothered they should be in a cubicle not me.

Allwayslookingforanswers · 26/04/2015 13:31

It really wouldn't bother me, before and after a work out I just change/shower

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 26/04/2015 13:33

My 8 year-old was uncomfortable when a 13 year-old was in the changing room with a mother and younger sibling (and he wasn't changing). I spoke to the Mother and she said he had been unhappy, too, and was going to wait outside. Another older child was in there but went behind a wall to change (can't explain the layout, but he was private from us).

TheRealAmandaClarke · 26/04/2015 13:33

YANBU
That is why there is. Arule. It's not nice for the women or the boys really.

ConnieBaby · 26/04/2015 13:36

Yarp, I would not send my 6yr old boy to change in his own but my 9 or 10yr old? Of course? They go off on their bikes on their own so why not across the hall in a different changing room?

Yarp · 26/04/2015 13:39

connie, i agree with you. Said so upthread

Dr0pThePirate · 26/04/2015 13:42

What's so bad about 6/7/8 year old boys though? A 5 year old boy can stare too. So can an 8 year old girl.

Are they not just children?

Swipe left for the next trending thread