Need advice.....

[Clinkclank]

I have a friend who I really do enjoy spending time with. There is one thing that really puts me off is her being clingy.....

I have a two year old DD and her DD is only 6 months older than mine and they get on well. My friend is currently on maternity leave - she has just had her DS.

I work 3 & 1/2 days per week and she always wants to meet up on my days off which I don't mind visiting or going out for half a day with the kids, but she is always wanting to met up. Sometimes I just simply don't want to as I would like to have the day with my child alone or visiting family and trying to fit in the housework & other chores so we can spend quality time together when the hubby is off over the weekend.

If I say that I am busy doing blah blah she starts to get pushy and suggests options of how we can meet up which at first didn't bother me but is starting to now.

If I don't meet up with her and say that I have been busy she starts to say 'what have I done' and I say nothing? im just busy.

Just really disappointed as I'm starting to feel irritated and smothered. I really enjoy our time together. I feel she is spoiling our friendship with being soo clingy.....

I'm tired of making excuses when I desperately need some space. I feel like I can't be honest with her when I just need the day with my child. inhave hinted that I need some time with my child and she simply doesn't get it.

Any advice on how to handle this?

Why would anyone WANT to be covered in roses Maddie? Odd phrase.

Not going to engage any further as you actually seem quite troubled.

Maddie, you have obviously been hurt by the actions of your former "best" friend, but the level of vitriol in your posts seems excessive! The majority of people on this thread have said that they value and make time for both friends and family.

I don't think this thread is going to be around for much longer somehow

Yes Karin I agree. OP I have nothing to add, my opinion echoes the majority. YANBU.

maddie I agree that the OP's post was unfortunately worded - describing a friend who clearly needs some companionship as 'clingy' for wanting to meet once a week can't be construed as supportive BUT all this black and white stuff about those with families having to prioritise friends over family whetever the circumstances is a bit OTT. I'm sorry you had a shit friend but she does not represent what most posters on this thread are saying. You may well be right that those posters who say they prioritise family over friend no matter what may be left with few friends down the line but each to their own and all that.

I call troll
Maddie well done for a swooping high jack.
I really do hope you can find a way to get over your bitterness, as crap as it was how your friend skipped you mums funeral.
If you're not a troll and may be can manage to not be condescending, ignorant, narrow minded, angry etc you should start your own thread.
Have I just fed the troll??

No, I don't Shakey, thanks. Try conversing in English if you want your posts taken seriously.

Troubled? I'm not the one choosing to spend my time living in my family's pockets because I've got nothing else in my life, but hey... whatever you say, love.

It's been a long time since I saw such an obvious "frothing berserker". I thought she was quite amusing

How is your relationship with your family Maddie? Are you close?

"Frothing berserker" pmsl

Heh yes, Finn

I find it utterly, utterly pathetic that there are grown adults walking around who still live in their families' pockets.

Nobody on here is living in their family's pockets.

What they are doing is choosing to spend time the way they want.

Would you care to rephrase that in correct English, or have your motherhood hormones addled your brain to the degree that you're incapable of doing so?

Are you like this in real life? Do you think this might be why people don't want to spend time with you?

At least you're prepared to admit you've been rude

It's a construct peeps. Don't bother asking it questions. It's not real

I'd like to thank maddie for amusing me so much.

Who said "frothing beserker"? That is so accurate!

Twas me

Clinkclank please update if possible. As I said up thread before I was accused of "bounding " into the thread,...God I can't even remember now! Hope your friend understands.

I'm noting that phrase for future use, finn. I like it a lot!

You're welcome not had the opportunity to use it for a while but old madders is well deserving of the mantle

You have to be honest and say "I need 1 on 1 mummy/daughter time, thats just how i am". She has to accept your needs too. Always suggest another time so it doesnt look like you arent interested full stop. Unless of course you arent. Friendships often fizzle out if two people are on very different pages re frequency etc.

"Maddiefan"....

What just happened??

Genuine question- why are you on mumsnet if you have such a blatant disregard for parents and children?

I don't have kids either but am here because it offers wisdom, good humour and support and because there are a lot of people in my life with relationships and children I am interested in. Mumsnet has been a valuable tool in helping me to be s good friend to them, an auntie and Godmother.

What does it bring to your life?

Maddiehayes is Liz Jones and I claim my five pounds

In various dark caves on the internet there are aggressively child free people who seem to get a kick out of describing parents and children in the most pejorative terms possible. They aren't typical of normal child-free adults, I hasten to add - I have lots of friends who have chosen not to have children and I am respectful of their choices as they are respectful of mine.

Anyway, Maddie's most recent post reminds me of that crowd of aggressive parent and child haters. I don't know why anyone who feels like that would turn up on Mumsnet, frankly. There are a lot of parents here (the clue is in the word 'Mums'. Cough cough).

It's a waste of time to engage with someone who generalises about parents and children in such a crude manner.