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Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome

314 replies

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:43

This is for all those who were following the original thread, asking whether I would be unreasonable to kick out my friend who was visiting for a week after her scathing comments and seeming reluctance to leave at the appointed date.

For all those who thought the story was not true, oh how I wish it wasn't, and for all those who advised me to drop the bag at the hospital. YOU WERE RIGHT.

I was feeling guilt at not sticking to the original dates and wanted to at least let her stay the next few days as agreed, however things came to light that let me know FOR SURE that she had no intention of leaving despite the mediation session and being blatantly told that she was not welcome.

Let me rewind back to yesterday. I called her at 5.30pm and she asked me to come back and get the boy. I said that I was not nearby (I hate the way how I was driven into basically becoming a liar like her) and she said that the other friend who lives nearby (who according to her begged her to stay in her house) who she met in France (let me call her French Friend) can come and take him. I said that was best as I didn't know what time I was coming back. She said that she would call her and make the arrangements.

I then called her at 9.30pm and told her that I still was not home, that I would stay the night at my mums house and go back in the morning as I had misplaced my key (another lie from me) She then made a joke that it was a good job they were keeping her in as if she had been out we would have both been "sleeping outside" I did wonder why she wouldn't go to FF if the son was there but I didn't mention it.

I asked what the doctors were saying and she said they took blood and she has to wait 48 hours for the results. I asked what the likely outcome was if there was a clot. She said that she would be put on treatment. I then asked where the son was and she told me that FF came and spent the day with her and was at the hospital between 1 and 5, and then took him home with her at 5. (Remember I spoke to her at 5.30pm and she was going to call FF to come and get the son.)

After sitting and thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that there was no way this was not just a bunch of BS (I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and think that just MAYBE she had good intentions but has a different was of going about things than me) I texted her at 10.30pm "Please send me FF address so I can drop the case off there."

There was no reply and I went to bed. In the morning I saw texts she had sent from 12.30am later that night. Saying, "You need to let me come out of the hospital. I cant stay as FF's house as she is under the government (she means council housing) and she called me a few minutes ago that her daughter has been rushed to the hospital so she will need to return DS to the hospital tomorrow morning so you need to have patience as this is a very difficult time for me. I should be out of here tomorrow because the results are out and everything is fine."

These were the texts that made me realise that she is really just a liar and a user. Plus I was with my mum when the texts came through and she went ballistic saying that I should not let her back in the house at all as she is spinning story after story. It is funny how everyone who desperately wants to house her goes on holiday or has some other emergency. It was also funny how at 9.30pm there was all this talk about results in 48 hours and needing treatment but then just 3 hours later, she is completely fine and leaving in the morning.

So I went home packed up all her stuff. All the bags of food shopping she had done (enough to last a few weeks not a few days) and the suitcase. I went to the hospital and dropped it on the reception at the ward. I do think this was somewhat cowardly on my part but I really didn't want to face her non stop sob stories etc. By the time I had got back to the car she was already texting me saying that I need to call her and we need to talk. I said "I had my own emergency. My mum has dropped your bags." She still kept sending texts saying that I should call her and that we really need to talk. No doubt she was still hoping on persuading me to stay. I then went a step further and told her "I'm already on the way to the airport. You already told me you had made other plans."

After this I guess she knew there was no coming back and then came the texts about me being heartless and wicked culminating and a rant about she knows I came to the hospital because the staff told her that it was me and my mum, how I ran away and didn't even attempt to see her on her sick bed. How she is seriously shocked by my behaviour, and she can't believe her life has come to this, how can she know such a wicked person.

I just said "I was not there. I don't know who ran."

That was the last contact I had with her. I am spending the day at my mums and although I feel guilty and not holding up to my end of the agreement by letting her stay until the time agreed I feel relieved to have my house back, as I don't think she would have left, and even now I am worried about her turning up, and even worse staying in the area somehow.

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 08/04/2015 11:52

Well done! It looks as if you're shot of her.

I think you're right... It would just be more stories of friends who couldnt possibly help due to their 'emergencies'... You would have been stuck!

On a very practical note.. I would change the locks... She could easily have made a copy! As you know you cant rely on her not doing this as she has already proved herself a liar and a cheat. If a yale lock, you can just change the barrel.. They cost about 10£ from a diy store - quite simple to do yourself!

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 11:54

Will you now contact social services about that poor boy?

BadLad · 08/04/2015 11:56

What was the mediation for?

Anyway, well done. The only thing wrong is that you didn't do it sooner, but better late than never.

JustAQuicky · 08/04/2015 11:56

Oh op!

Glad you're shot of her!

Second PP ring SS for the poor kid (where is he if the FF hasn't got him he can't stay at the hospital Confused) and change the locks!

stinkingbishop · 08/04/2015 12:00

Do you know where he is? Isn't French Friend about to leave???? I'm confused why the hospital kept her in if she doesn't have something wrong...it kinda implies they at least thought there was something, so not entirely BS. I feel for all of you. Even the Ghana Drama Llama as her life is clearly one big pile of messy poo, lies notwithstanding.

madreloco · 08/04/2015 12:02

there really wasnt any need for such drama though, was there? With both of you sending texts full of lies back and forth and prolonging all of the crazy....if you had done as advised at tne very start of the first thread by contacting social services and locking her out.

horriblesil · 08/04/2015 12:02

Where is the young boy staying if his mother is in hospital and the French Friend is unavailable due to an emergency. The hospital wouldn't have him because they have strict visiting hours - even for family.

BabyGanoush · 08/04/2015 12:02

Blimey

howabout · 08/04/2015 12:03

Well done! Impossible to be reasonable with unreasonable people. I hope you do not ever contemplate taking seriously any of her venomous accusations towards you - and definitely I would change the locks!

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:04

Yes, but what about that poor little boy? Has anyone (staff at the hospital etc) making sure he is okay.

As a foster carer who takes children in an emergency PLEASE PLEASE contact SS to make them aware of him and the situation. If everything is fine, then their help will not be needed, but I strongly, strongly urge you to make the call.

I am glad she has gone from your life/home, but please make sure he is okay before you close this crazy chapter.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 12:05

She was never in possession of the key, so it is impossible she would have copied it. If it had been just lying around somewhere then perhaps I would be worried.

With regards to Social Services. There has been no crime. Because his mother is a liar and goes on holiday to stay with "friends" she barely knows does not mean there is a child protection issue, and if there is a child protection issue (as I am sure she does not tell me everything) it would be impossible to prove.

After getting her out of my house I do not want to encourage her to start harassing me by reporting her, as I have my own child to think of. After trying to FORCIBLY stay in my house indefinitely I do not know what she is capable of.

If the hospital call me I will just tell them the truth, however I know they will not call as there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. I'm sure this was a scheme concocted by her and FF, as she came back from FF house talking about National insurance number, benefits, housing, university, how everything is free here, that the government helps with everything. I told her I don't know about all that as no one has ever helped me with anything and I am STILL paying off my student loans. She will get up out of that hospital bed and go and stay with FF or find a hotel with her sponsorship money.

OP posts:
DrankSangriaInThePark · 08/04/2015 12:05

shameless placemark from work.

MsPavlichenko · 08/04/2015 12:05

Agree you should change locks asap, and expect her to turn up and make a fuss at some point. Also she hasn't turned you into a liar, you had/have the choice to just say No to her. If she does come back I suggest you do. Otherwise you will be hiding at your mum's forever.

You don't need to offer any excuses/explanations to her. Block her from the phone. Perhaps contact the hospital about your concerns re her DS, they may be able to liaise with SS.

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:05

IT ONLY TAKES ONE CALL TO MAKE SURE HE WILL BE SAFE!

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 12:08

I believe the whole FF story was pure BS. The boy was not at the hospital he was still with FF, but apparently FF had called to say her daughter had been rushed to hospital and would be returning him to the hospital. If he is returned to the hospital then they can leave together as remember her text and midnight said everything is fine no treatment she can leave in the morning. Even if he comes outside visiting hours they will let them in. All the times I went was outside visiting hours. They really are not that strict if you insist.

OP posts:
Fancyachangeinname · 08/04/2015 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 08/04/2015 12:10

That's all I keep coming back for to see if any body has helped that poor kid yet

Andrewofgg · 08/04/2015 12:10

Well done OP. But change the locks; you never know. Have you got a spyhole on the door and if not why not? DO NOT LET HER THROUGH THE DOOR whatever she says.

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:12

There does not have to be a crime committed for SS involvement (as you say) and there does not have to be proof of a child protection issue (as you say). But please think again and make one call, his needs here are being severely overlooked...the fact he has spent the majority of 2 days at her bedside in hospital is not right...who is feeding him, caring for him, washing his clothes, making sure he gets to sleep...oh so many issues. I do not usually avocate ringing Children's Services but in this case I would do it myself.

Is there any other way to help this boy? You are the only person who can make sure he will be okay. Would you not someone to intervene if it was your little one?

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 12:13

@StinkingBishop she is pregnant so they will err on the side of caution. I know this all to well as I was admitted 8 weeks after birth. They kept me there for a night just waiting as there was noone to see me. The next day they did the tests but I had been told by the person who had done the scans that everything was fine however the information was not passed on and they say they cannot release you until the information is passed on. After they tried to keep me the second night I simply walked out as I knew nothing was wrong. They did try and stop me but I said I have an 8 week old baby and I cant just hang around here when I know nothing is wrong.

If she is there and keeps complaining about pain and how it keeps getting worse etc they will keep her in and keep running test after test. If she wants to stay there a week she can easily stay there. The time I was there for a night I met a woman in the next bed who was there for a week. She said she ended up leaving of her own volition as well but then came back when the pain started getting worse.

OP posts:
FishWithABicycle · 08/04/2015 12:14

Very glad that you took the suitcase in. This woman is clearly a conartist and it would be best to just block her number now and ignore.

spiney · 08/04/2015 12:14

Wow. glad (hope) Its done with OP.

Do you think she was really ill Lily? She sounds a very powerful, emotionally manipulative person.

Personally I don't think life is usually as simple as just calling SS and locking her out.( imagine having her ( furious) and her young son locked outside you door - that would have been a major drama....)

Worry for poor son though.

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:14

So if she does stay what about her son (sorry, broken record here I know) but am so worried about him?

UnderTheDeepBlueSea · 08/04/2015 12:20

Link - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2346990-To-Kick-Her-Out-Of-My-House-Immediately

Well rid op!

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 12:20

The boy has not spent two days at her hospital bed. He spent the day doing what they normally do in my house. Playing on the Ipad. From her own mouth they have declared everything is fine and she will be leaving this morning.

I do understand the concern for him, but he has all his clothes and is VERY WELL FED. Even when I dropped him off I packed a huge plastic bag full of biscuits, hot dogs, noodles, cooked rice and mince, chicken.

My concern is more for my own child. I am not going to start a war of what will only be seen as an spiteful revengeful attack by calling social service. There is nothing wrong with that boy. This is their lifestyle. Because I wouldn't choose to live it does not mean I should try and get her child taken away from her.

OP posts:
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