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Original poster

Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome

314 replies

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:43

This is for all those who were following the original thread, asking whether I would be unreasonable to kick out my friend who was visiting for a week after her scathing comments and seeming reluctance to leave at the appointed date.

For all those who thought the story was not true, oh how I wish it wasn't, and for all those who advised me to drop the bag at the hospital. YOU WERE RIGHT.

I was feeling guilt at not sticking to the original dates and wanted to at least let her stay the next few days as agreed, however things came to light that let me know FOR SURE that she had no intention of leaving despite the mediation session and being blatantly told that she was not welcome.

Let me rewind back to yesterday. I called her at 5.30pm and she asked me to come back and get the boy. I said that I was not nearby (I hate the way how I was driven into basically becoming a liar like her) and she said that the other friend who lives nearby (who according to her begged her to stay in her house) who she met in France (let me call her French Friend) can come and take him. I said that was best as I didn't know what time I was coming back. She said that she would call her and make the arrangements.

I then called her at 9.30pm and told her that I still was not home, that I would stay the night at my mums house and go back in the morning as I had misplaced my key (another lie from me) She then made a joke that it was a good job they were keeping her in as if she had been out we would have both been "sleeping outside" I did wonder why she wouldn't go to FF if the son was there but I didn't mention it.

I asked what the doctors were saying and she said they took blood and she has to wait 48 hours for the results. I asked what the likely outcome was if there was a clot. She said that she would be put on treatment. I then asked where the son was and she told me that FF came and spent the day with her and was at the hospital between 1 and 5, and then took him home with her at 5. (Remember I spoke to her at 5.30pm and she was going to call FF to come and get the son.)

After sitting and thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that there was no way this was not just a bunch of BS (I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and think that just MAYBE she had good intentions but has a different was of going about things than me) I texted her at 10.30pm "Please send me FF address so I can drop the case off there."

There was no reply and I went to bed. In the morning I saw texts she had sent from 12.30am later that night. Saying, "You need to let me come out of the hospital. I cant stay as FF's house as she is under the government (she means council housing) and she called me a few minutes ago that her daughter has been rushed to the hospital so she will need to return DS to the hospital tomorrow morning so you need to have patience as this is a very difficult time for me. I should be out of here tomorrow because the results are out and everything is fine."

These were the texts that made me realise that she is really just a liar and a user. Plus I was with my mum when the texts came through and she went ballistic saying that I should not let her back in the house at all as she is spinning story after story. It is funny how everyone who desperately wants to house her goes on holiday or has some other emergency. It was also funny how at 9.30pm there was all this talk about results in 48 hours and needing treatment but then just 3 hours later, she is completely fine and leaving in the morning.

So I went home packed up all her stuff. All the bags of food shopping she had done (enough to last a few weeks not a few days) and the suitcase. I went to the hospital and dropped it on the reception at the ward. I do think this was somewhat cowardly on my part but I really didn't want to face her non stop sob stories etc. By the time I had got back to the car she was already texting me saying that I need to call her and we need to talk. I said "I had my own emergency. My mum has dropped your bags." She still kept sending texts saying that I should call her and that we really need to talk. No doubt she was still hoping on persuading me to stay. I then went a step further and told her "I'm already on the way to the airport. You already told me you had made other plans."

After this I guess she knew there was no coming back and then came the texts about me being heartless and wicked culminating and a rant about she knows I came to the hospital because the staff told her that it was me and my mum, how I ran away and didn't even attempt to see her on her sick bed. How she is seriously shocked by my behaviour, and she can't believe her life has come to this, how can she know such a wicked person.

I just said "I was not there. I don't know who ran."

That was the last contact I had with her. I am spending the day at my mums and although I feel guilty and not holding up to my end of the agreement by letting her stay until the time agreed I feel relieved to have my house back, as I don't think she would have left, and even now I am worried about her turning up, and even worse staying in the area somehow.

OP posts:
merrymouse · 08/04/2015 12:48

The boy is better of with his mum than with strangers. She may be lying and going places but this is a lifestyle thing, not abuse.

It is not a 'lifestyle thing', from the evidence of the posts, it is somebody who is, for whatever reason, not able to look after a child, if for no other reason that she is travelling alone in a foreign country, is in hospital and has no money and nowhere to stay.

The OP does not need to contact SS, but she should confirm that the hospital aren't under the impression that they will be discharging this woman back to her good friend who dropped of the suitcase.

The idea that moving a child from pillar to post with no means of support, sleeping on sofas under false pretences, is just being a bit of a hippy or how people behave in other countries is ridiculous.

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:50

*Lily has said that she's going to call the hospital.

Could those calling her 'cruel' etc just STFU now please?*

Thank you, christinarossetti I will STFU now. Sorry if I have upset anyone, including yourself. It's just I deal with this situation frequently and (to my knowledge) have not made any child's life worse by caring for them for a couple of days while their parent is unwell. Again, I realise you may know the system and situation much better than me. So I am sorry...and yes, am SingTFU now, I promise!!

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 12:52

I'm absolutely staggered at the number of posters on this thread that seem to think (and are desperately trying to get Lily to think) that a phone call to SS about a child who isn't a relative and who Lily doesn't even know the whereabouts of will somehow set some sort of wheels of intervention in motion.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 12:52

In addition to managing the unbelievable stress and disruption of the last few days?

Unbelievable is the word alright. OP posted for advice and then ignored what everyone told her. She has caused stress and disruption to herself by doing the exact opposite of what would be sensible.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 12:54

I won't STFU christina, are you a special person to be telling that to other posters? Hmm

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 12:54

riveravon, I'm not knocking anyone who looks after other peoples' children when they're not well. Surely you can see that.

I'm angry and upset at the posters who are trying to persuade Lily to take responsibility for a child that isn't hers after all she's been through the past few days.

If people are that concerned, why not PM Lily, ask for the child's name and last seem whereabouts and take it upon themselves to 'ensure that he's safe' rather than harassing her?

merrymouse · 08/04/2015 12:54

Unfortunately, merrymouse being taken into the care system can lead to children being further in danger.

As fairenuff says, the point is not to snatch the child and put him into a home, but to give practical help.

It is likely that the hospital are concerned, but are being spun a tail by the HG.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 12:55

No, not special. Just can't stand to see someone being bullied.

fluffymouse · 08/04/2015 12:56

Op did you manage to speak to anyone at the hospital?

This boy is homeless from the sounds of it, which is definetly a child protection issue.

Justusemyname · 08/04/2015 12:56

You said on the previous thread it was tragic. Where is the tragedy? And which bit are you shocked about?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 08/04/2015 12:57

I mean this in the nicest possible way but do some of you think you might be getting over invested in this thread?, you have no idea how 'real' this all is anyway.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 12:58

Just can't stand to see someone being bullied.

So you thought you would hound other posters off the thread?

Gotta love irony Grin

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 13:00

why not PM Lily, ask for the child's name and last seem whereabouts

Lily if anyone does that, please, please, please do not give this information out. Remember, we are strangers on the internet, we want to keep that boy safe, not put him at risk.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 13:01

Um, I think there were a mixture of suggestions about what Lily should do on the first thread.

How has Lily managed to do the exact opposite of all of them.

Signing off now, but all the best Lily.

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 13:03

I'm angry and upset at the posters who are trying to persuade Lily to take responsibility for a child that isn't hers after all she's been through the past few days.

Last post, christinarossetti honestly! I have not made myself clear. My point was for Lily to make the authorities aware of the child and therefore pass the responsibility onto them. I totally agree with you that she should not have the responsibility herself. I meant the total opposite. That's what I meant by one call - making sure that the responsibility was in the hands of professionals and any decisions be theirs. Then Lily can forget, and move on, without the worry of how the little boy is.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 13:03

Really, fairenuff you can vouch for the intentions of everyone on this public forum?

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 13:04

Also sorry for any bullying. Signing off now too, though will be thinking about and hoping the little boy is okay.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 13:05

riveravon I get you. The hospital authorities are now aware of the situation - that will have been more productive over a BH weekend than out of hours duty SW, honestly!

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 13:05

You said on the previous thread it was tragic. Where is the tragedy?

I was expecting OP to say that there had been a medical problem and that the HG had died in hospital.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2015 13:05

'Sorry if I have upset anyone, including yourself. It's just I deal with this situation frequently and (to my knowledge) have not made any child's life worse by caring for them for a couple of days while their parent is unwell. Again, I realise you may know the system and situation much better than me. So I am sorry...and yes, am SingTFU now, I promise!!'

She has no idea where the child is, FGS.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 08/04/2015 13:07

Faire yes I was expecting something awful with OP's wording.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 13:08

Really, fairenuff you can vouch for the intentions of everyone on this public forum?

No. That was my point.

No-one knows who anyone is on the internet and no-one should be giving out their real name or address, etc. on a form like this.

But especially don't give out information about a vulnerable boy to strangers on the internet. Common sense isn't it.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 13:10

Ha, yes classy, I am!

I wasn't in the original thread, but looked again at lunch time today and was really upset at the 'can't believe that you're so cruel as to not make one teeny weeny phone call to SS which will magically set all sorts of wheels in motion for a child who you don't even know the whereabouts of and whose mother has been in hospital for a few days and says that she's had contact with SS, this child's future is in your hands' sort of stuff.

I have a more cynical and jaded experience of the mechanisms of child protection and social services than most (my experience not my children's), and don't see the care system as some sort of haven from abuse, neglect, chaos and dysfunction that some do (quite the opposite in fact).

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 13:14

Um, fairenuff, it was a rhetorical suggestion.

Although I might have missed some posts when people offered to jump in their car and rush over to help Lily in order to protect this boy (seriously, I might have, as I didn't read the whole of the first thread).

Original poster
Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 13:18

I actually have FF's number from the time she called me from her phone. I called to ask if she had DS and if he was alright and she got snappy quickly when she realised who I was "Yes he's with me. Of course he is alright. Why wouldn't he be alright?" It looks like HG was with her because when she started asking me what happened and how could I abandon her when she is seriously sick I heard commotion in the background and I hung up.

There was no daughter rushed to hospital anything. I believe the whole thing was a scheme cooked up by the both of them. I'm just hoping they go home in a couple of days and the whole sorry saga will be over. I definitely will NOT be making any more phonecalls.

OP posts:
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