Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome

314 replies

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:43

This is for all those who were following the original thread, asking whether I would be unreasonable to kick out my friend who was visiting for a week after her scathing comments and seeming reluctance to leave at the appointed date.

For all those who thought the story was not true, oh how I wish it wasn't, and for all those who advised me to drop the bag at the hospital. YOU WERE RIGHT.

I was feeling guilt at not sticking to the original dates and wanted to at least let her stay the next few days as agreed, however things came to light that let me know FOR SURE that she had no intention of leaving despite the mediation session and being blatantly told that she was not welcome.

Let me rewind back to yesterday. I called her at 5.30pm and she asked me to come back and get the boy. I said that I was not nearby (I hate the way how I was driven into basically becoming a liar like her) and she said that the other friend who lives nearby (who according to her begged her to stay in her house) who she met in France (let me call her French Friend) can come and take him. I said that was best as I didn't know what time I was coming back. She said that she would call her and make the arrangements.

I then called her at 9.30pm and told her that I still was not home, that I would stay the night at my mums house and go back in the morning as I had misplaced my key (another lie from me) She then made a joke that it was a good job they were keeping her in as if she had been out we would have both been "sleeping outside" I did wonder why she wouldn't go to FF if the son was there but I didn't mention it.

I asked what the doctors were saying and she said they took blood and she has to wait 48 hours for the results. I asked what the likely outcome was if there was a clot. She said that she would be put on treatment. I then asked where the son was and she told me that FF came and spent the day with her and was at the hospital between 1 and 5, and then took him home with her at 5. (Remember I spoke to her at 5.30pm and she was going to call FF to come and get the son.)

After sitting and thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that there was no way this was not just a bunch of BS (I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and think that just MAYBE she had good intentions but has a different was of going about things than me) I texted her at 10.30pm "Please send me FF address so I can drop the case off there."

There was no reply and I went to bed. In the morning I saw texts she had sent from 12.30am later that night. Saying, "You need to let me come out of the hospital. I cant stay as FF's house as she is under the government (she means council housing) and she called me a few minutes ago that her daughter has been rushed to the hospital so she will need to return DS to the hospital tomorrow morning so you need to have patience as this is a very difficult time for me. I should be out of here tomorrow because the results are out and everything is fine."

These were the texts that made me realise that she is really just a liar and a user. Plus I was with my mum when the texts came through and she went ballistic saying that I should not let her back in the house at all as she is spinning story after story. It is funny how everyone who desperately wants to house her goes on holiday or has some other emergency. It was also funny how at 9.30pm there was all this talk about results in 48 hours and needing treatment but then just 3 hours later, she is completely fine and leaving in the morning.

So I went home packed up all her stuff. All the bags of food shopping she had done (enough to last a few weeks not a few days) and the suitcase. I went to the hospital and dropped it on the reception at the ward. I do think this was somewhat cowardly on my part but I really didn't want to face her non stop sob stories etc. By the time I had got back to the car she was already texting me saying that I need to call her and we need to talk. I said "I had my own emergency. My mum has dropped your bags." She still kept sending texts saying that I should call her and that we really need to talk. No doubt she was still hoping on persuading me to stay. I then went a step further and told her "I'm already on the way to the airport. You already told me you had made other plans."

After this I guess she knew there was no coming back and then came the texts about me being heartless and wicked culminating and a rant about she knows I came to the hospital because the staff told her that it was me and my mum, how I ran away and didn't even attempt to see her on her sick bed. How she is seriously shocked by my behaviour, and she can't believe her life has come to this, how can she know such a wicked person.

I just said "I was not there. I don't know who ran."

That was the last contact I had with her. I am spending the day at my mums and although I feel guilty and not holding up to my end of the agreement by letting her stay until the time agreed I feel relieved to have my house back, as I don't think she would have left, and even now I am worried about her turning up, and even worse staying in the area somehow.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 13:22

I think you might be projecting your own experience onto this situation christina. There are many foster carers who look after children for a few nights if their main carer is in hospital. It's not a bad thing.

I didn't really get what you mean about the rhetorical question though and your further questioning of me about the intentions of people on the internet.

Anyway, I hope I've answered to your satisfaction Confused

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 08/04/2015 13:24

Lily, has she ever asked to borrow money before she came to stay?

HellKitty · 08/04/2015 13:28

Glad you're finally shot of her.

Patapouf · 08/04/2015 13:36

High five OP! You took your time though Grin

I don't think the boy is in any danger from having a flaky manipulative mother, he probably sees their nomadic lifestyle as rather adventurous at that age anyway. The hospital know the situation, so surely they can call SS if they feel it's necessary?

LaurieFairyCake · 08/04/2015 13:40

Of course there was no daughter rushed to hospital but I'm not sure french friend knows that.

I'd be texting her as it sounds like she's also been spun a line by your friend. Just to say something like :" this morning friend told me your daughter had been rushed to hospital and that is why she couldn't stay with you. I'm only telling you this in case you're being taken advantage of in the same way friend has tried to do to me".

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 13:45

The hospital do not know the situation.

OP hasn't told them.

HG hasn't told them.

They are colluding the in cover up that the child is well cared for and on holiday staying with friends.

But it's clear no-one is going to do anything to check that he's ok, will be going back home in time to start to school, that his father knows where he is, etc.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 13:51

TaliZorahVasNormandy when I went to stay with her we paid for stuff equally. I didn't ever feel she was trying it on. However the mediator after all this Houseguest drama reminded me of a situation that happened when we first met her and said that she felt she was a scammer from then.

I was staying at my good friend's family house in Ghana (where I met her) for a night before the mediator came who was going to see family. When the mediator arrived she was in a very rough area (Her mother is from Ghana but she had never been before) and there wasn't room for her, so my friend's brother (HG boyfriend at the time) told me to tell her to come to the house. When we went to go and pick mediator up HG who was driving got into an accident (very minor scrape). We didn't want the mother (whose car it was) to see the damage so she called someone to fix it immediately. We were told it would be the equivalent to £40 to fix, so we agreed to split it 3 ways amongst the 3 girls.

We gave her the money but then the next day it had doubled (according to her). We had already sorted out a hotel to go to, so said we would go with them to the mechanic on the way to the hotel, however she went out without us. We ended up going to the hotel and she never mentioned it again. She came to visit us at the hotel and life went on. It was actually a situation that I hadn't remembered.

OP posts:
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 08/04/2015 13:54

Lily. I wouldn't be surprised if there are a trail of people from many countries, who either she tried to get money from or did get money from. When these people hit their limit, she runs. I reckon she took you as a mug.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 13:55

LAurieFairyCake I mentioned the daughter being rushed to hospital when I called and there was no response. She certainly was not in the hospital and the tv was on in the background. The woman sounded very argumentative and probably came up with the story with her. They deserve each other. I don't even want to text her and get any more further mixed up in the web.

I have deleted/blocked her from all social media, Skype, Whats app. Etc I do have a feeling this will not be the end from her, but hopefully with no response she will get bored and move on.

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 13:55

It is not a 'lifestyle thing', from the evidence of the posts, it is somebody who is, for whatever reason, not able to look after a child, if for no other reason that she is travelling alone in a foreign country, is in hospital and has no money and nowhere to stay.

I don't think because you go on holiday with your child as a sole parent you are incapable. Just because she LIED and said she has no money, does not make it true. Someone who has been collecting an "allowance" for who knows how many years and has three bank accounts surely is not penniless

OP posts:
thornrose · 08/04/2015 14:03

What happened to the long and tragic update you mentioned in the other thread?

RabidFairy · 08/04/2015 14:10

Good for you OP for standing up against her. I think you've done everything you can and should do and you're right to draw a line under the whole thing now and break contact IMO.

FromSeaToShining · 08/04/2015 14:14

Wow.

Sallyingforth · 08/04/2015 14:18

I really think the OP should be left alone now. She's done the right thing, if a little late, and there is no point at all in hounding her any more about SS etc.

We should be looking out though for the next victim to post about a house guest who won't go.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 08/04/2015 14:18

I reckon she'll probably use that ticket she screenshotted and go home tomorrow. Wherever that is..

Crossfitmyarse · 08/04/2015 14:21

Sorry I know this harks back to the other thread, which is full up and which I am just frantically trying to catch up on, but I HAVE to say…

Fuck me, Ghana!!!!! Who is she, fucking Phileas Fogg?

and *Yes, I was annoyed at the sudden appearance of Ghana, wooly - who was prepared for that, drinks-wise?

I just don't have enough LOLs for those comments, am wheezing and snorting and thoroughly annoying DH. Grin

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 14:25

The whole situation is TRAGIC as I didn't want it to come to this. I never in my wildest dreams could imagine having to take someones bags to the hospital in order to get them out of my house and it is LONG, well to me anyway!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 08/04/2015 14:30

Lily, I am glad you are rid of her. Perhaps it was good that your mum was with you when the texts came through last night and encouraged you to deliver the luggage to the hospital.

Put it in the past now and stand back. Block her number on your phone too, so that you don't have to answer to her if she should try anything else.

I know we were often joking and larking around on your last thread and having some fun speculating too. However, on the serious side, it is possible that you have had a lucky escape here. She may well be some sort of a con artist as already suggested. If I remember rightly, she did ask you to "lend" her £300. "Lend" my arse!! You wouldn't have seen it again. She may have done this to many people in many different countries and that could make her part of some international scam ring.

Whatever you do now, make totally sure that she absolutely cannot ever get into your house again. I'd still be tempted to change the locks just in case, but that is your call. When you go back home, check any valuables you can think of are exactly where you left them (iPad), bank stuff, jewellery etc.

You were being taken for a big ride, no doubt about that.

Maryz · 08/04/2015 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 08/04/2015 14:46

I suspect that because Lily is a LP with a baby, HG thought she'd be a soft touch, grateful for the company.

Lily, I'm glad you managed to fight her attempts at manipulating you.

Crossfitmyarse · 08/04/2015 14:47

I am not necessarily smelling a rat. I think this could happen. She either

A) isn't really PG and she's saying that yo buy time and gain sympathy, or

B) she is PG and she has absolutely no intention of getting a termination, she just tells the OP that so that the OP will let her stay thinking it's a temporary thing and she's just in the UK for a termination, when actually she's doing her best to hang around in the UK until the baby's born, (NHS birth, priority housing, woman alone with 2 children etc.)

Or,

C) she came to the UK for an abortion because you can't get them in Italy? Confused (not sure if that's still true, mind….)

But if that was her plan she's faffed around not doing much about it so far…..

My money's on B.

woodhill · 08/04/2015 14:57

sounds awful, hopefully she is out of your life.

Chippednailvarnish · 08/04/2015 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bettercallsaul1 · 08/04/2015 15:00

Make that two, Chipped.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 08/04/2015 15:00

I'm drinking S Pellegrino. It's Italian, so not against the rules.

Swipe left for the next trending thread