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Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome

314 replies

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:43

This is for all those who were following the original thread, asking whether I would be unreasonable to kick out my friend who was visiting for a week after her scathing comments and seeming reluctance to leave at the appointed date.

For all those who thought the story was not true, oh how I wish it wasn't, and for all those who advised me to drop the bag at the hospital. YOU WERE RIGHT.

I was feeling guilt at not sticking to the original dates and wanted to at least let her stay the next few days as agreed, however things came to light that let me know FOR SURE that she had no intention of leaving despite the mediation session and being blatantly told that she was not welcome.

Let me rewind back to yesterday. I called her at 5.30pm and she asked me to come back and get the boy. I said that I was not nearby (I hate the way how I was driven into basically becoming a liar like her) and she said that the other friend who lives nearby (who according to her begged her to stay in her house) who she met in France (let me call her French Friend) can come and take him. I said that was best as I didn't know what time I was coming back. She said that she would call her and make the arrangements.

I then called her at 9.30pm and told her that I still was not home, that I would stay the night at my mums house and go back in the morning as I had misplaced my key (another lie from me) She then made a joke that it was a good job they were keeping her in as if she had been out we would have both been "sleeping outside" I did wonder why she wouldn't go to FF if the son was there but I didn't mention it.

I asked what the doctors were saying and she said they took blood and she has to wait 48 hours for the results. I asked what the likely outcome was if there was a clot. She said that she would be put on treatment. I then asked where the son was and she told me that FF came and spent the day with her and was at the hospital between 1 and 5, and then took him home with her at 5. (Remember I spoke to her at 5.30pm and she was going to call FF to come and get the son.)

After sitting and thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that there was no way this was not just a bunch of BS (I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and think that just MAYBE she had good intentions but has a different was of going about things than me) I texted her at 10.30pm "Please send me FF address so I can drop the case off there."

There was no reply and I went to bed. In the morning I saw texts she had sent from 12.30am later that night. Saying, "You need to let me come out of the hospital. I cant stay as FF's house as she is under the government (she means council housing) and she called me a few minutes ago that her daughter has been rushed to the hospital so she will need to return DS to the hospital tomorrow morning so you need to have patience as this is a very difficult time for me. I should be out of here tomorrow because the results are out and everything is fine."

These were the texts that made me realise that she is really just a liar and a user. Plus I was with my mum when the texts came through and she went ballistic saying that I should not let her back in the house at all as she is spinning story after story. It is funny how everyone who desperately wants to house her goes on holiday or has some other emergency. It was also funny how at 9.30pm there was all this talk about results in 48 hours and needing treatment but then just 3 hours later, she is completely fine and leaving in the morning.

So I went home packed up all her stuff. All the bags of food shopping she had done (enough to last a few weeks not a few days) and the suitcase. I went to the hospital and dropped it on the reception at the ward. I do think this was somewhat cowardly on my part but I really didn't want to face her non stop sob stories etc. By the time I had got back to the car she was already texting me saying that I need to call her and we need to talk. I said "I had my own emergency. My mum has dropped your bags." She still kept sending texts saying that I should call her and that we really need to talk. No doubt she was still hoping on persuading me to stay. I then went a step further and told her "I'm already on the way to the airport. You already told me you had made other plans."

After this I guess she knew there was no coming back and then came the texts about me being heartless and wicked culminating and a rant about she knows I came to the hospital because the staff told her that it was me and my mum, how I ran away and didn't even attempt to see her on her sick bed. How she is seriously shocked by my behaviour, and she can't believe her life has come to this, how can she know such a wicked person.

I just said "I was not there. I don't know who ran."

That was the last contact I had with her. I am spending the day at my mums and although I feel guilty and not holding up to my end of the agreement by letting her stay until the time agreed I feel relieved to have my house back, as I don't think she would have left, and even now I am worried about her turning up, and even worse staying in the area somehow.

OP posts:
Footle · 08/04/2015 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 12:21

With regards to Social Services. There has been no crime.

There doesn't have to be a crime. You are talking about a homeless child.

You could just tell the hospital what you know and ask them to check that he is ok.

In all the hours you have spent here on mn, taking HG to meet mediator, talking to the boy about his father, spinning a web of lies by text, you couldn't find the time for one phone call to check on his welfare?

What kind of person would be so heartless? You seem more concerned about her neverending stories than the reality of a neglected child right in front of your face.

bananayellow · 08/04/2015 12:23

There will be another chapter to this story.

mrsallergy · 08/04/2015 12:23

Well done for fighting Fire with fire. I thought the whole 'I have an emerg of my own' was a nice touch! She showed her true colours by not giving a fig about your 'emergency ' didn't she.

Where would the boy stay though if she stays in hospital for a week?

WellYesOfCourseYouAre · 08/04/2015 12:24

About time. Well done for dropping the bags off. I would however call the ward sister and let her know whats been going on to ensure the boy is ok.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 12:24

I can certainly call the hospital to see what has happened to the son, but I will not call Social Services.

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 12:26

@MSALLERGY She won't be in hospital for a Week! She said she everything was fine and she was leaving this morning after I mentioned bringing the suitcase to FF which means it was all a lie! She is probably at FF's now thinking of another scheme.

OP posts:
NotNowBono · 08/04/2015 12:26

Well, that's all great, but I'm not sure why From her own mouth they have declared everything is fine and she will be leaving this morning fills you with any sort of confidence. You've heard all sorts from her own mouth and most of it's been made up on the spot.

if you'd heard it from the ward sister's own mouth...

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:27

And is he going to cook those hot dogs, noodles, rice and mince himself, and where is this mythical kitchen. Unless I have read incorrectly, you have been told so many lies, that you do not know if anything he says is true...even about the FF, who could be anyone. And you have also been told she cannot look after him anymore...so if that part is true, who IS looking after him. Sorry, I think you are VERY, VERY wrong.

I know others will disagree but having worked with SS for 25 plus years, they would not immediately take the child way from her (although you previously said on the other thread that she was going to leave him and go to Canada). But SS will help in an emergency - I have looked after dozens and dozens of children for a couple of nights while their soul parent was unwell/in hospital.

I do realise though we could from different standpoints, I see contacting SS as giving him a safe haven for a few days, and you see it as the first step in him being removed.

There is nothing else I can say except this boy needs help if only fraction of her lies are true.

PLEASE RECONSIDER.

gamerchick · 08/04/2015 12:27

The well being of this child depends on the kindness of people opening their houses to them. Not everybody will be nice and I find it hard to believe that you can't make one phone call so a welfare check can be made on this child.

It's not trying to get her child taken away, that's not all what social services are about and it's not revenge or any other tripe... It's checking out their lifestyle as suitable for a young child.

duckbilled · 08/04/2015 12:33

Please just call ss and make them aware of the potential that the child may not have a bed tonight! Hotdogs and biscuits to not guarantee his safety.
I understand that you need to walk away now but everyone has a respibility to keep children safe, even you op!

riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:35

So agree with yougamerchick

The boy is homeless and a roof over his head, as you say, depends on other people...who could be anyone and may have motives of their own for taking in the child and his mother. And we can't guarantee anything the mother says is true anyway.

I think not to make a call asking for a welfare check is cruel, totally cruel. This boy is innocent and his safety relies on the OP making that one call, and the OP does not need the give her name. It's just so cruel.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 12:35

Well done, Lily. What a hellish situation that you managed with compassion, dignity and strength. I really hope that that's the last you hear from her.

In regard to her son, it's probably time that people stopped hassling Lily to take responsibility for him now. If his mother's been in hospital in the circumstances described, SS will definitely have been informed and are probably already involved.

And the comments about it 'only taking one phone call to ensure this child's welfare are a joke.' Really? Just really? If that were the case, so many thousands of children would be much safer than they already are.

This child isn't Lily's responsibility. A referral via the hospital will have tons more weight.

merrymouse · 08/04/2015 12:36

This is their lifestyle. Because I wouldn't choose to live it does not mean I should try and get her child taken away from her.

It seems to be a lifestyle where he is taken from pillar to post by an unstable parent with no home and a strong likelihood that he will be abandoned if she can find somebody to take him.

If you don't want to call ss, you should identify another adult who can look after him (his father?). If you can't do that, I agree, tell the hospital what has happened and leave it to them. What you shouldn't do is become part of the web of lies that is enabling her her to move from mug to mug while her child (who apparently is an encumbrance and she would like to ditch) bumps along in her wake.

Tellhimyournamepike · 08/04/2015 12:37

Does anyone reckon she's lying in her hosp bed saying she's homeless/preg/has a kid = needs a placement/home etc. she's possibily now a hospital bed blocker and the staff will have to refer her to SS to get her out of their beds!!
Any talk of discharge and she say she's got chest pain or something-must err on side of caution-so she's staying in the hotel local royal infirmary!!
At least OP is rid, but we may never know the end of this spongers story hmm

merrymouse · 08/04/2015 12:37

And the comments about it 'only taking one phone call to ensure this child's welfare are a joke.' Really? Just really? If that were the case, so many thousands of children would be much safer than they already are.

No, it takes more than a phone call to make a child safe, but not making a phone call can certainly leave them in danger.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 12:38

She was given the Social Services option and declined so they know the situation. You are right I don't know what is true or not true but I do know they would not have let him spend the night. I am going to call the hospital and see if she is still there. HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO BET they have left?

OP posts:
riveravon23 · 08/04/2015 12:39

My last attempt....

OP, what if in the future, you (good forbid) were ill and alone, somewhere away from home. The well being of your child would then rely on someone making that call to ensure your child's safety. What if no one made that call?

duckbilled is right, and a child needs more than a packet of hotdogs to keep them safe!

spiney · 08/04/2015 12:39

Thats what I was thinking CRossetti wouldn't it be the case to ring the Ward Sister/Hospital and express your concerns re the boy. Mind you they have probably been fed a pack of lies. But so has Lily.

MollyMaDurga · 08/04/2015 12:40

Just to say I agree with you OP about not calling SS. The boy is better of with his mum than with strangers. She may be lying and going places but this is a lifestyle thing, not abuse.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2015 12:40

Good on you! Get this person out of your life. All those saying all SS, the OP has no idea where the child is.

Block this person from your life.

Nightingalemumoftwo · 08/04/2015 12:41

OP I must admit I can't believe your determination to not call SS. Just because the boy looks fine, doesn't mean he doesn't need help fast.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 12:42

The phone call will put the wheels in motion. That's all it takes to alert the proper authorities. It's such a simple thing to do. You can tell the hospital, the police or social services. It's easy.

I cannot think of one single reason why a person wouldn't do that.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 12:43

Unfortunately, merrymouse being taken into the care system can lead to children being further in danger.

Lily has and is continuing to do the right thing by this boy, within the realities of her own life and own child to care for.

Why have posters on this thread decided that calling SS is the only possible avenue? Why isn't Lily calling the hospital enough? In addition to managing the unbelievable stress and disruption of the last few days?

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 12:45

Lily has said that she's going to call the hospital.

Could those calling her 'cruel' etc just STFU now please?