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Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome

314 replies

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:43

This is for all those who were following the original thread, asking whether I would be unreasonable to kick out my friend who was visiting for a week after her scathing comments and seeming reluctance to leave at the appointed date.

For all those who thought the story was not true, oh how I wish it wasn't, and for all those who advised me to drop the bag at the hospital. YOU WERE RIGHT.

I was feeling guilt at not sticking to the original dates and wanted to at least let her stay the next few days as agreed, however things came to light that let me know FOR SURE that she had no intention of leaving despite the mediation session and being blatantly told that she was not welcome.

Let me rewind back to yesterday. I called her at 5.30pm and she asked me to come back and get the boy. I said that I was not nearby (I hate the way how I was driven into basically becoming a liar like her) and she said that the other friend who lives nearby (who according to her begged her to stay in her house) who she met in France (let me call her French Friend) can come and take him. I said that was best as I didn't know what time I was coming back. She said that she would call her and make the arrangements.

I then called her at 9.30pm and told her that I still was not home, that I would stay the night at my mums house and go back in the morning as I had misplaced my key (another lie from me) She then made a joke that it was a good job they were keeping her in as if she had been out we would have both been "sleeping outside" I did wonder why she wouldn't go to FF if the son was there but I didn't mention it.

I asked what the doctors were saying and she said they took blood and she has to wait 48 hours for the results. I asked what the likely outcome was if there was a clot. She said that she would be put on treatment. I then asked where the son was and she told me that FF came and spent the day with her and was at the hospital between 1 and 5, and then took him home with her at 5. (Remember I spoke to her at 5.30pm and she was going to call FF to come and get the son.)

After sitting and thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that there was no way this was not just a bunch of BS (I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and think that just MAYBE she had good intentions but has a different was of going about things than me) I texted her at 10.30pm "Please send me FF address so I can drop the case off there."

There was no reply and I went to bed. In the morning I saw texts she had sent from 12.30am later that night. Saying, "You need to let me come out of the hospital. I cant stay as FF's house as she is under the government (she means council housing) and she called me a few minutes ago that her daughter has been rushed to the hospital so she will need to return DS to the hospital tomorrow morning so you need to have patience as this is a very difficult time for me. I should be out of here tomorrow because the results are out and everything is fine."

These were the texts that made me realise that she is really just a liar and a user. Plus I was with my mum when the texts came through and she went ballistic saying that I should not let her back in the house at all as she is spinning story after story. It is funny how everyone who desperately wants to house her goes on holiday or has some other emergency. It was also funny how at 9.30pm there was all this talk about results in 48 hours and needing treatment but then just 3 hours later, she is completely fine and leaving in the morning.

So I went home packed up all her stuff. All the bags of food shopping she had done (enough to last a few weeks not a few days) and the suitcase. I went to the hospital and dropped it on the reception at the ward. I do think this was somewhat cowardly on my part but I really didn't want to face her non stop sob stories etc. By the time I had got back to the car she was already texting me saying that I need to call her and we need to talk. I said "I had my own emergency. My mum has dropped your bags." She still kept sending texts saying that I should call her and that we really need to talk. No doubt she was still hoping on persuading me to stay. I then went a step further and told her "I'm already on the way to the airport. You already told me you had made other plans."

After this I guess she knew there was no coming back and then came the texts about me being heartless and wicked culminating and a rant about she knows I came to the hospital because the staff told her that it was me and my mum, how I ran away and didn't even attempt to see her on her sick bed. How she is seriously shocked by my behaviour, and she can't believe her life has come to this, how can she know such a wicked person.

I just said "I was not there. I don't know who ran."

That was the last contact I had with her. I am spending the day at my mums and although I feel guilty and not holding up to my end of the agreement by letting her stay until the time agreed I feel relieved to have my house back, as I don't think she would have left, and even now I am worried about her turning up, and even worse staying in the area somehow.

OP posts:
Footle · 12/04/2015 07:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieKaye · 12/04/2015 10:06

it isn't automatically cruel.
In this case, it shows a pattern of behaviour from HG who appears to have no visible means of supporting herself that does not rely on the latest man in her life footing the bills. OP has not given any indication throughout two long threads that HG does anything to provide a stable life for her child and appears to be more concerned about finding the next man in her life or a free place to stay with no concern for her son's stability, emotional well-being or continuity of education.

In that respect she seems very different to people who decide to relocate to Britain because they have got a job here and want to make their lives here and who do not speak English. Also, OP said the son was unhappy in the Swiss school because he did not speak German.

Lilylonglegs · 12/04/2015 10:19

katie she hasn't worked in forever as she says both husband and boyfriend did not want her to work. Back in Ghana she ran a business ( real that I saw) she claims to want to work but realistically if she doesn't own her own business she will most likely be doing low pay jobs that are less than her allowance. I don't see that lasting long. She did talk about possibly going back and opening up a bar/ restaurant, but no doubt she would want "sponsorship" for that first.

OP posts:
christinarossetti · 12/04/2015 20:46

I think posters are generally in agreement that the lifestyle chosen by HG isn't in her child's best interests.

The difference seems to be between those who think that this isn't Lily's responsibility and respect her decision not to be involved any further, and those who seem to think Lily should be living in some sort of 'what if?' situation and pre-empting this acquaintance/distant friend's next move.

From the descriptions given, I wouldn't want this person in my life and in Lily's situation, my only regret would be that I'd let her stay in the first place and even then I'd feel that at least I'd given her the benefit of the doubt.

catsrus · 13/04/2015 09:26

I was on my local authority site this weekend, looking for some information for a friend, and there was an option to make a report to SS about a child. The link said "report a child who is at risk of significant harm" not "report a child who is getting poor or inadequate parenting".

Gralick · 13/04/2015 10:23

I don't think anybody's disagreed that his mum's issues make the child's life problematic. What other posters are saying is that this isn't something SS could intervene with. They aren't even UK residents (yet!) Even if they were - homelessness and insecurity are increasingly normal features in children's lives here. SS haven't the resources to solve this, let alone fix a family that's ostensibly here on a visit.

Gralick · 13/04/2015 10:25

Sorry, cats & christina, you both said the same. I'd missed your posts.

AuntieDee · 15/04/2015 12:23

Did she ever go back home OP?

Lilylonglegs · 15/04/2015 20:18

auntiedee no she didn't! She is still hanging around so it Appears she really did have no intention to leave my house!

OP posts:
kittycatz · 15/04/2015 20:41

She is still in your house???

Lweji · 15/04/2015 20:55

She would be at the FF's house, presumably.

Lilylonglegs · 16/04/2015 07:41

I Assume she is at FF house as she posted pictures on FB which were taken very locally.

OP posts:
kittycatz · 16/04/2015 15:05

Well at least she isn't at your house Lily!

mathanxiety · 16/04/2015 16:11

Any sign of the child being enrolled in school?

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