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Original poster

To change surname

335 replies

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 21:11

DP and I have been together for almost 2 years and have a 7 and half month old son together. We can't afford to get married yet so are thinking about paying for me to have my surname changed by deed poll to be the same as DP's and DS's. Do you think it's pointless or a nice idea?

OP posts:
AwakeCantSleep · 06/04/2015 21:13

Why does your son have your partner's surname and not yours? Just curious.

Original poster
ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 21:15

Because he's his father?

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 06/04/2015 21:15

You don't need to pay for a deed poll. Those websites that charge get away with it as most people don't realise this. The websites can also look really official, but don't be fooled.

Information on changing a name here.

ww.gov.uk is the official government website for any information.

Original poster
ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 21:16

Thanks fry, that's where I've been looking, it's £36 if I read it right, bargain!

OP posts:
TalkinPeace · 06/04/2015 21:17

Why pay?
Just start using his name.
You can call yourself whatever you like.

AwakeCantSleep · 06/04/2015 21:17

Sure. And you are his mother. So why his name?

I genuinely don't get why any woman would give her child a surname different to her own.

FunkyPeacock · 06/04/2015 21:17

Depends if you ultimately want to get married

If getting married is important to you then I would focus on saving up for that - you don't have to spend a huge amount - rather than spending savings on a name change

I'd be worried that once you have changed your name then the wedding might go on the back burner permanently

FryOneFatManic · 06/04/2015 21:18

sorry, that should be www.gov.uk

I'm not going to get into any debate about changing names, but DP and I have been together 28 years and I will never be changing my name. DCs have his name, but if I could go back, I'd give them my name instead. There's never been any problem in me having a different name to them.

HazleNutt · 06/04/2015 21:18

getting married costs £45 and would also give you quite a lot of benefits that just a name change won't.
www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-partnershipsweddings-and-civil-partnership-ceremonies

mrsmeerkat · 06/04/2015 21:18

Could you save up and have a registry office wedding with witnesses for now?

I would also want us all to have to same name but it would be nice to just get married if hats your long term goal anyway

Original poster
ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 21:18

Same goes for why a father would want his child to have a different surname to their own though.
I wanted him to have his father's name, plus it's tradition.

OP posts:
ambientolf · 06/04/2015 21:19

I am pregnant and thinking the same thing! My baby will definitely take my partners name, as we are engaged, but don't want to rush getting married. He thought I was daft when I mentioned deed poll Hmm

awkward good for you. Everyone is different.

TalkinPeace · 06/04/2015 21:19

My kids have their dad's name.
We were married but I'd never changed my name.
I now use both my names to the utter confusion of everybody else

OP
call yourself whatever you like.

AmyElliotDunne · 06/04/2015 21:20

I think if you read some of the threads about men who are reluctant to marry you will find that having the same name is really the least of it. As parents there are various legal protections afforded to you if you are married. I think you should be saving enough to get married (not a big wedding ceremony but an actual marriage) as this is the easiest and cheapest way to ensure you are both protected in case of death, illness or divorce etc.

Yes, having the same name is all very nice, but being legally considered your DP's next of kin is much more important.

BikeRunSki · 06/04/2015 21:20

Getting married isn't expensive, having a wedding can be.

AmyElliotDunne · 06/04/2015 21:21

X post Hazle.

AwakeCantSleep · 06/04/2015 21:21

Because the mother is likely to remain primary carer for the child in the event of a split.

Tradition is exactly the other way round in my birth country (and many other countries I believe).

Nolim · 06/04/2015 21:21

I think it is pointless to change ones name tbh.

CalicoBlue · 06/04/2015 21:21

I did not change my surname when I got married, neither have a lot of my friends. Do not really see the point in changing your name unless you do not like the one you have. My Dc all have their fathers surname.

Original poster
ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 21:21

I wanted him to have his father's name anyway

OP posts:
PeppermintCrayon · 06/04/2015 21:21

You do need to pay the £36 if you want to change your passport and register your name change officially.

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2015 21:22

HazleNutt has it OP.

Getting married would protect you in law and you could change your name at the same time.

ahbollocks · 06/04/2015 21:24

Im the same as you chicken dipper, have a different surname to ds and (now) dh.
His birth certificate proves he is your son, I find the whole whywhywhyyyy thing bizarre and rude.

FryOneFatManic · 06/04/2015 21:26

Enrolling a deed poll is often required, so you don't always need to pay the £36 fee.

I had a look at my local council website for marriages.

If you're willing to forgo a ring, then the cheapest wedding would be £119:

£4 certificate
£35 notice of marriage
£80 marriage ceremony (Mon-Thurs)

If being married is more important than the wedding, then it might be worth taking a look at your own council website, as it might not cost much more.

And for witnesses, many people would be happy to come off the street for the short ceremony.

FryOneFatManic · 06/04/2015 21:27

Sorry, isn't often required. Not so easy to type one-handed at the mo.