To change surname

[ChickenDipper22]

DP and I have been together for almost 2 years and have a 7 and half month old son together. We can't afford to get married yet so are thinking about paying for me to have my surname changed by deed poll to be the same as DP's and DS's. Do you think it's pointless or a nice idea?

Crys not crystal!

i do wonder whether it's a "tradition" born of the embarrassment and stgma that used to go with unmarried women - it's not that long ago that babies were routinely taken away from unmarried women, adopted out without permission from the mother (but usually the mother's parentd gave consent)
that's the 60s and even into the 70s.

yes, it was necessary for the child to take its mother's name if they were married, and that gave it a negative connotation, so then women who chose not to marry gave the child the father's name because it looked less of a stigma.
and this became a non-choice - and then only 30-40 years on, it looks like it's always been the case - hiding all these illegitimate children from the world by giving the father's name to them.
so even if it's a shit surname, it's "better" than having the stigma of a child whose mother was unwanted by its father

Yes I remember older relatives referring in hushed tones to a couple who lived together but we're not married as living over the brush.

I have always wondered what that meant.

living over the brush was when ople who couldn't afford to get married would do a fake marriage and then jump over a brush together to cement the deal.

It was thought of as "common law marriage" which of course we know doesn't exist (but scary how many people think it does!)

Nickel it does exist legally in some countries, just not in the UK - agreed it's scary how many don't realise this!

Thank you

Always wondered where the saying came from.

I was given my father's surname, he wasn't on the birth certificate and my parents weren't married. It always surprised me my mother was allowed to do that. She did not take his name. I don't even know that they lived together before I was born.

You can give a child any name when you register him/her. You are not obliged to give the child either your own or anyone else's surname.

Sorry, posted too soon.

You can give a child an entirely new surname, or even invent one.

Alpaca - yes, i was referring to the UK - should have put that in the post