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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To purposely avoid shaving? *half lighthearted*

213 replies

UghReally · 02/04/2015 16:31

Bit of a weird one I know, But this is AIBU and I see weird sh*t here all the time so I'm sure none of you will choke on your pearls! Anyhow...
DP has always expressed a preference for me being shaven down there. Fairenough, we all have our preferences. I'm currently pregnant and due to feeling like death I dont feel like doing shower aerobics to get every last bit of hair.... We've still been having sex pretty regularly, every 1-2 days. However now DP has decided that he'd rather not have sex with me until I shave again... because it "feels and looks weird" like your penis maybe? WIBU to never shave again?

OP posts:
alrayyan · 06/04/2015 13:04

caspian your views are so silly that I find myself agreeing with ice being which is not something that I thought I would say...

I think some of your remarks are really worrying, that you are in some way offended by other people's bodies and judge people for not doing something that is neither right nor wrong just what women want to do. You are doing women generally a huge misservice by holding and broadcasting such hideously ignorant views.

I always defend women on here because one or two nutters (not ice) always call peoples partners paedos because they shave. I think some of the shit that happens against people on this forum is revolting bullying and I am committed to calling.people on saying things that are so disgusting and unacceptable that they would be arrested or sued in real life.

I had laser years ago and it wasn't a big deal. I am an engineer and work in 50c conditions for some of the year and prefer it. I strongly strongly object to it being suggested that I am so thick I did it cos I wanted to look like Jordan.

on the other hand if I were comfortable not removing hair and you tutted at me at the public swimming pool for being so bold as to not remove my hair I'm afraid I would probably thump you.

God what a pile of shit.

alrayyan · 06/04/2015 13:06

and show me a woman who epilates her fanny....no chance!

CaspianSea · 06/04/2015 14:20

Alrayaan, I am not judging people for removing/not removing pubic hair, but if they choose not to, I don't think they should flash it in public! How is it ok to shed pubes in the water? Why can't they wear shorts-style bikini bottoms instead of letting straggly hair escape for everyone to see? I do find it disgusting, because long pubic hair is unhygenic and I don't want to be reminded of this when I'm sharing a pool/showers/sauna.

My point was that minimal hair is more hygenic for pubic/underarm regions. I have never advocated shaving. I don't remove my pubic hair I trim it very short with electric trimmer and wax bikini line into a neat strip.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 06/04/2015 14:43

I am not judging people for not removing pubic hair,

Repulsive, unhygienic, disgusting, makes you queasy, lazy, disrespectful, slovenly, not groomed, smelly. These are all words you've used to describe anyone who has the audacity to have pubes.

It is clear you have deep-rooted(!) issues. Would counseling help?

CaspianSea · 06/04/2015 15:22

JohnFarley... I was referring to long pubes on display in public places... I am judgemental about this because no-one needs to advertise the fact they are ungroomed and untrimmed down below. It's far more hygenic to cover up your pubic hair if you can't be bothered to keep it under control.

JustAQuicky · 06/04/2015 15:56

I don't want to see dangling pubes in the swimming pool/beach/poolside ect. Keep that covered up

alrayyan · 06/04/2015 16:12

I think it's marvelous actually. because now we are all united regardless of shave status in our defence against labels such as disgusting and lazy and not being allowed to advertise having pubes. If I had some I would take out a full page in the Guardian just to prove a point.

alrayyan · 06/04/2015 16:14

What about beardy men in swimming pools? what if they had egg for breakfast and smuggled.some debris in? I suppose beards advertise themselves though Grin

JustAQuicky · 06/04/2015 16:19

Personally don't like any type of hair, don't like beards hairy chest backs stomachs Confused

alrayyan · 06/04/2015 16:22

I don't really like seeing people at the beach full stop. Especially when I used to live in the UK, all those sunburned tattoos. None of my business whatsoever though. In general most people, however hideous or ugly we.find them, have someone who loves them and thinks they are great. That's the main thing, not someone sneering at a few wiry hairs or lack thereof.

JustAQuicky · 06/04/2015 16:32

But it's not a few of they have a beard or are covered front and back in it Confused

alrayyan · 06/04/2015 16:39

I can completely understand preference. I don't like hairy men much but that only extends to the ones (one) I sleep with. I don't walk round Tesco in a rage because a bearded man is buying cheese....I don't really get the point. Surely we can't ban people from being g hairy. I have lived under Saddam and Gaddafi in my life but never experienced that level of intervention!

JustAQuicky · 06/04/2015 17:15

For me it's like seeing a Dulux dog in the pool Confused

alrayyan · 06/04/2015 18:30

I have a spaniel who swims in the pool with me most days. I find her generally more sociable than many humans I share the world with...

Justusemyname · 06/04/2015 18:40

Why do people care so much? Generally two people see the pubic hair so whatever the "fashion" is is irrelevant as no one can legally prove they have followed the trend or not Confused.

TendonQueen · 06/04/2015 19:46

Caspian Do you think that men, as well as women, are 'slovenly' if they don't shave their legs? Or is that OK because leg shaving is not the social norm for men

I can't take alrayyen seriously since her calling the belief that society influences what people do a 'boring sixth form argument', a point so stupid that it (ironically) practically disqualifies anyone making it from getting to join in a grown-up discussion.

FeijoaSundae · 06/04/2015 19:46

Seriously, how close are some people actually getting to people's groin areas in the pool, that this is such a problem for them? Confused

Surely you can go about your life at least 98% of the time without being confronted with other people's slightly too straggly pubes?

I go about my life 100% of the time without being confronted by them, because I'm not looking. So I really do think some people are working themselves up into a state over this for their own bizarre personal reasons.

P.S. Great posts alrayyan. :)

CaspianSea · 06/04/2015 20:13

'Seriously, how close are some people actually getting to people's groin areas in the pool'

I can't help noticing when people at pool have pubic hair on display! It's particularly obvious and icky when in a hot-tub or sauna, since you're in close proximity and people have to climb up ladder close to your face. Maybe I'm being judgemental but I do associate unruly neglected pubic hair with lack of personal hygiene in general. I just think if you care about your appearence in general, why is your pubic area any different?

I also don't understand how women with long pubic hair keep it clean when on period or after childbirth. Unless you shampoo it every time you change pad/tampon doesn't it get matted with blood? How is that hygenic in a public pool or sauna? At least if very short you can just rinse it clean with water or wet-wipes.

CaspianSea · 06/04/2015 20:18

'Do you think that men, as well as women, are 'slovenly' if they don't shave their legs?'

I don't expect men to shave legs no. Nor do I care if women remove leg hair though I do find it strange when women expose fuzzy legs in public, as all the women I know remove their leg hair. It's not trimming pubic hair or hair underarms that I consider 'slovenly' since it impacts personal hygiene. And yes I expect men to trim these areas too!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 06/04/2015 20:20

My God, you sound like my namesake, an obsessive loon.

I only use a swimming pool a couple of weeks a year on holiday. And saunas even less than that. And my pubic hair can't be seen under my costume. Is that therefore acceptable for you or am I still lazy, disrespectful of my partner, smelly, unhygienic and ungroomed?

Sallystyle · 06/04/2015 20:23

I use a mooncup and before that tampons.

I use towels too as I'm extra heavy. I have never had matted pubes. Washing them once or twice a day in the shower stops them from matting.

And a bit of blood on my pubes in-between washes? not on my radar to give a tiny fuck about, considering no one is going down there to look at them.

I am not dirty because a bit of blood goes on my pubes occasionally. It washes off.

Maryz · 06/04/2015 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustAQuicky · 06/04/2015 20:45

How would your son know what gay porn stars remove lol

Non-Gay porn stars remove hair as does every partner I've dated

JohnFarleysRuskin · 06/04/2015 20:47

Oh but Mary's imagine the horror of seeing a mans underarm hair up close in the pool. How smelly, how unhygenic. So slovenly, disrespectful, you're making me feel queasy just talking about it.

FeijoaSundae · 06/04/2015 20:48

So you do actually live in a hot tub or sauna then?!

How much time are you spending in these things, being confronted by unruly pubic hair, that this is actually a genuine problem for you...?

I suspect you actually like making people feel bad about themselves more than you are actually confronted with the odd unkempt pube.