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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To purposely avoid shaving? *half lighthearted*

213 replies

UghReally · 02/04/2015 16:31

Bit of a weird one I know, But this is AIBU and I see weird sh*t here all the time so I'm sure none of you will choke on your pearls! Anyhow...
DP has always expressed a preference for me being shaven down there. Fairenough, we all have our preferences. I'm currently pregnant and due to feeling like death I dont feel like doing shower aerobics to get every last bit of hair.... We've still been having sex pretty regularly, every 1-2 days. However now DP has decided that he'd rather not have sex with me until I shave again... because it "feels and looks weird" like your penis maybe? WIBU to never shave again?

OP posts:
Psipsina · 03/04/2015 06:44

I wonder if I could continue in a relationship with a man who found my body unattractive enough to be put off sex with me.

I hate shaving and don't see the point so we would be totally incompatible. I wouldn't expect him to shave either (or want him to)

I hope you can find a compromise but he sounds like an immature sort of guy who is easily turned off by your natural body. Not my type.

Psipsina · 03/04/2015 06:45

Plus any extra faff when PG is out of the question. Sorry you are feeling rough, I felt awful during pregnancy so I understand.

Lagoonablue · 03/04/2015 07:01

When and why did it become the norm for women to be hairless. Fair enough give it a trim but totally off? Just weird. I blame porn. I know that's a simplistic argument but 70s porn had women with hair. Now it doesn't and over the years seems to have become normal for men to prefer women without hair. I think it's terrible.

Original poster
UghReally · 03/04/2015 07:06

ahh the paedo comments... well If my DP is a paedophile then so am I because I prefer him shaven as well (But his choice regardless) remarks regarding fucking a fanny like a childs are out of order. For one no amount of hair will change the fact that my vagina is completely different to that of a child, Because I'M NOT A CHILD. my DP clearly doesn't have the penis of a child, am I a paedophile because I prefer him shaven? stops the pubes getting stuck in my teeth
FYI DP IS still attracted to me, Just finds hair down there weird, we've been together years and I've always shaved (personal preference) so I can imagine its a bit weird for him however as stated I'll shave when I'm ready.
"my husband thinks women should have hair" isn't that the same thing thats going on here but in reverse? "I don't shave" whats your point? who asked you?
I feel this is about to become a pointless debate or a bunch of angry women calling my DP a paedophile.
Oh this'll be fun.

OP posts:
HappenstanceMarmite · 03/04/2015 07:08

But then Id worry about an adult man expressing a preference for the prepubescent/no hair look on a fanjo regardless

And what about a preference for the "prepubescent/no hair look" on the legs/pits?

I don't understand why some people trot out the paedo line where lady garden topiary is concerned, but conveniently miss the point that not having hair anywhere else on the body is also a prepubescent feature.

Original poster
UghReally · 03/04/2015 07:09

Lagoonablue- I also think its terrible that there is a "norm" (don't really care what it is) I think we should all have the absolute freedom to partake in shaving, waxing, lasering, trimming or absolute sh*t all and thats okay.

OP posts:
Original poster
UghReally · 03/04/2015 07:12

*And what about a preference for the "prepubescent/no hair look" on the legs/pits?

I don't understand why some people trot out the paedo line where lady garden topiary is concerned, but conveniently miss the point that not having hair anywhere else on the body is also a prepubescent feature.*
Brilliant point but I think I still look like a child apparently (as implied by PP's) as I do shave my legs and pits when i can be arsed going near a razor
oh well.

OP posts:
ovumahead · 03/04/2015 07:16

Whoops apologies if I started a paedo-type lline - really didn't mean to! Was just making a lighthearted sideways jab at the whole notion of it all. I'm not that bothered either way and actually don't believe that women who remove their pubes look like children... But some people do believe this,for sure. No one on here knows tyour husband OP so don't get offended! It's years since I've been on mumsnet and it's clear that 'cyber pubes' or whatever someone else mentioned has become a thing. I'm bowing out of an unnecessarily heated debate, and I wish you, your husband, and your fanjo all well!

Lagoonablue · 03/04/2015 07:17

Yes but the norm is for hair on genitals. When and why has it become expected that women are hairless. What exactly is that about? It is not weird to have hair, it is normal.. It is more weird for it to be removed. I think it's more than an issue of appearance, I think culturally there is something going on there.

People tend to go on about choice on these threads. I think it's more complex than that.

alrayyan · 03/04/2015 07:18

The paedophile thing is the same as the nutty bf people. just a few people who are probably a little unwell. Most people on MN I am sure don't really.mind if you choose to laser etc.

I have a vision of these people living in an iron lung (with their hands sticking out) who do nothing but post on this (ok but hardly exciting) parenting website 23.5 hours a day. They scour the boards for their pet subject (one particular is obsessed with fanny hair) either that or they do have access to the outside world which really is the saddest thing ever.

Lagoonablue · 03/04/2015 07:28

Nutty bf people. Nice.

Totality22 · 03/04/2015 07:31

Not read the whole thread but I'm sure its been pointed out that you'll get to a point when you physically won't be able to shave and probably won't be feeling loke sex

I am intrigued as to how you can be too ill to shave bit still able to have sex so often???

Stillyummy · 03/04/2015 07:32

I am quite pregnant and realised I couldn't see what I was doing last night in the shower. Not wanting a trip to a and e I have taken it that I won't be doing it again for a while. Shaving my lower legs now defo counts as a yoga move so it is being done far less often.
No idea if DH minds, he has enough other worries to make it pretty far down the list if he does anyway.

Psipsina · 03/04/2015 07:41

I'm confused - I thought you wanted back up never to shave again, but you're kind of having a pop at those trying to provide it.

I agree the paedophile comments are a bit unnecessary, but you did start the thread so the other comments seem Ok to me. (as in 'who asked you?' well, you did, sorta)

PlumpingIsQuiteUpForThud · 03/04/2015 07:50

I agree that accusing male partners of hidden tendencies towards paedophilia is going a bit far. People get used to stuff and find it weird when the situation changes. I'm not fond of the porn culture that encourages full shaving to start with though.

I did ask DH for his manly opinion and he said "It's nicer to look at a shaved foof when you're eye to eye with it, as it were. But it's a bit off to issue ultimatums. Does this mean you're up for a bit of then?"

So that's his somewhat deprived opinion. Grin

alrayyan · 03/04/2015 07:50

Yes nutty bf people. The small amount of posters who belittle and bully people about it and write such revolting stuff that they are clearly unhinged. They lurk around waiting to jump in and say it's never ok to use formula under any circumstances. Idiots who cause real damage and hurt. And why they care about it is about their sad lives rather than the people who use formula and actually get out into the world. I make no apologies for calling them that. They are sick.

differentnameforthis · 03/04/2015 08:09

This obsession with women being hairless is weird...and I mean that as in pits & legs too..

I know someone who shaves her arms too...who has time for all that!!

NobbyNobs · 03/04/2015 10:16

remarks regarding fucking a fanny like a childs are out of order

That was a tongue in cheek remark to a poster bringing up the whole 'infantile look' in relation to what her own partner prefers while apologising as if she's said something amazingly new and ground breaking which would no doubt have us all a dither.

I went on to say it takes more than a shave to make my fanny look 'young'.

KatoPotato · 03/04/2015 10:24

Strangely I was thinking the other nigh tin the bath that since getting upduffed I've hardly had to shave my legs? There's been little to no regrowth.

Quick trim with the scissors to anything grab-able down there and that'll dae me.

I am going for a planned section in 5 weeks and will take the top down an inch or two, I remember the theatre nurse taking a dry orange bic to it last time...

OP how pg are you?

Original poster
UghReally · 03/04/2015 11:16

I jokingly said I would never shave again.
Totality I CAN shave, Just can't be arsed really.

OP posts:
Lagoonablue · 03/04/2015 12:41

What has BFIng got to do with this thread anyway? Odd comments.

DarthVadersTailor · 03/04/2015 12:57

Why not get him to shave you if it bothers him that much & you don't mind being shaved? When my DP was heavily pregnant I shaved her, albeit it was more for her benefit rather than mine, but even so knowing just how difficult it was for her to do it i was more than happy to help Smile

alrayyan · 03/04/2015 13:17

Because there are certain subjects on aibu where the nutters come out and that is one.
And because both bf and fanny hair are things that MN people have an unhealthy interest in and can be quite nasty.

soverylucky · 03/04/2015 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IceBeing · 04/04/2015 00:07

hmm...what is sadder though? Reading a selection of threads and only commenting on the ones you happen to feel strongly about...or tracking people around threads so you can accuse them of being 'unwell'?

Not defending anyone making anyone feel shit on FF/BF threads though...that's just nasty.

For whoever asked why the focus on fanjo hair, it was simply what the thread was about....personally I don't shave armpits, legs arms or anything else. I find societies obsession with shaving women's bodies pretty uncomfortable...also the requirement that we not have visible signs of child bearing...like dropping boobs and squidgy stomaches.

Just another reflection of the idea that women's primary worth to society is there sexual attractiveness. Which is why threads like this bring out some strong feminist arguments.