To purposely avoid shaving? *half lighthearted*

[UghReally]

Bit of a weird one I know, But this is AIBU and I see weird sh*t here all the time so I'm sure none of you will choke on your pearls! Anyhow...
DP has always expressed a preference for me being shaven down there. Fairenough, we all have our preferences. I'm currently pregnant and due to feeling like death I dont feel like doing shower aerobics to get every last bit of hair.... We've still been having sex pretty regularly, every 1-2 days. However now DP has decided that he'd rather not have sex with me until I shave again... because it "feels and looks weird" like your penis maybe? WIBU to never shave again?

Iv'e never came across it before either, alrayyan

If any man, and I include my husband, tells me he won't have sex with me unless I look a certain way he would never go near me again. I would also wonder what the fuck is wrong with him and if the porn has gone to his head

Caspian I'd feel pretty uncomfortable if I noticed you staring at my groin near the swimming pool. Why would it make you feel sick? I'm clean and showered before I get in the pool..

'I make a lot of effort with my appearance. Just not my pubes.

I shower, so I am no smellier than anyone else down there.

What is repulsive about hair? Are my arm hairs repulsive? Is it repulsive when I have stubble on my legs? you obviously equate pubes with dirty. That's a shame.'

Even if you shower daily, long pubes still collect sweat, skin bacteria and traces of blood/discharge etc at certain times of month. So I disagree you are just as clean and smell just as fresh as if you trimmed/waxed. Do you wash with running water and soap every time you wee? Body fluids stick to hair.
I'm originally from a middle-eastern culture and both men and women typically keep pubic hair very short for hygiene reasons. I'd not like to give my DH oral sex if he had a bush! I'd feel he was being lazy/disrespectful not to trim. I find the appearence of long, straggly pubes off-putting and I don't want hairs in my mouth.

Pubic hair is private, why is it ok to flash it out your bikini-leg at the swimming-pool or beach?

I'm not against body-hair but I do think it looks slovenly when women make no effort to keep leg, underarm and bikini hair under control. How long does it take to wax/shave/Immac/epilate your legs and underarms and trim your pubes? How can you be well-groomed if you neglect this? It's about hygiene just as much as appearence. Eg you have underarm hair you will sweat more and smell more, and antiperspirants will be less effective as they can't block the sweat-glands. Fine if you live in the woods. Not so socially-acceptable when you live in a society and work/socialise in close proximity to others.

And why shouldn't a man prefer not to get a mouthful of hair when they go down on you? It's not just a porn/generational thing IMO. It's a personal thing, a cultural thing, and its roots are firmly grounded in hygiene.

it's an interesting conversation says a lot about my evenings haha I remember when i started to get pubic hair, I panicked a lot because i didn't have my mum to talk to/show me what to do.. so when it came to my first serious boyfriend i had to look to the internet really as to what is expected/how to shave. Now because i'm used to it i feel very uncomfortable if i have growth down their but surely it's just what we're used to i can easily imagine how another person would find shaving wierd/uncomfortable.

Caspian you are talking complete bollocks. If shaving is so hygienic, why do surgeons and midwives not shave their patients any more? Because shaving actually encourages infection:
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/aug/07/pubic-hair-has-job-stop-shaving
Personal preference yes, crude offensive, ignorant generalisations - not so much.

Pubic hair isn't 'private' is it? I thought the area it covered was private. Also what's so private that your under arm hair is covering? For me what you say about underarm hair is the opposite - i only need deodorant when i shave or wax. When i don't remove hair under my arms i don't need anything. Why do you think you sweat more? How would your sweat glands know that a dead body product had been cut off when it was outside the skin, and then produce more sweat? and why would it do that?

Bloody hell caspian I am a human being. I wash and keep clean but I have no problem with sweat being collected on my pubes. It washes off. People aren't smelling my fanny on a daily basis. I am not scared of my own pee and bacteria which is all over my bloody body.

My husband has never moaned when he performs oral sex. I never moan when I get the odd pube in my teeth (sorry people!!).

I am well groomed but at times I don't even shave my pits for a week or two. No one sees them in the winter and it is no more private than the hair on my head. My vulva is private, hair that escapes in a swimming costume is not.

I find your post very very sad. It's not a matter of time, I do not want to shave my vulva to fit in with your strange standards when I prefer my hair to be natural.

Basically, you are talking crap.

Pee is not all over my body.. just incase anyone was wondering. Bacteria and debris are, but not pee.

unless I sneeze

Women who don't remove their pubic hair are slovenly, repulsive, smelly, sweaty, ungroomed, lazy, disrespectful and unhygienic human beings.

Crikey, that told us ;)

'When i don't remove hair under my arms i don't need anything. Why do you think you sweat more? How would your sweat glands know'

Odour is caused by natural bacteria on skin breaking down the chemicals in sweat. Hair traps sweat and odour, encouraging bacteria to multiply. You may feel less damp if you don't shave/trim (since the hair is soaking up sweat) but you will sweat and smell more. Anti-perspirants block sweat-glands so less sweat is produced, but underarm hair reduces antiperspirant effectiveness. This is science (not my personal theory). Unless you wash your underarms several times a day, you will have more odour than if you removed the hair.

I don't smell. So no problem for me.

I might be gross, unhygienic, engrossed and all those things. But smelly I am not.

And my husband tends to agree.

Tell him the hair is hiding your vulval varicosities.

See how he likes dem apples.

there dear god what is wrong with me!

Good summary John

I wonder why men don't shave under their arms if having hair is so revolting and renders deodorant useless?

Re the article about shaving causing microscopic wounds and inflammation (potentially leading to infection)... shaving is harsh on skin and can cause ingrown hairs etc. I prefer to trim all my pubic hair very short with a trimmer rather than risk inflaming follicles. I wax bikini line, legs and underarms tho sometimes shave if I'm in a hurry.

How much body-hair you have is subjective choice just like how much odour you tolerate, but IMO it's important to consider partner's feelings too. Why not trim if he is repulsed by it? You don't have to shave it, you can trim to make it short and neat and easy to keep clean.

Ironically my DH would like to see me with long pubic hair. This thread prompted me to ask him why (I thought it was just that he's rarely seen it so is a novelty). He says the longer it is the stronger the scent and he claims he finds my 'pheromone-scent' a turn-on. So maybe hair down there is not all bad! However he also said he disliked the scent of his ex-partners' when giving oral sex, even after shower, and said he always asked them to remove pubic hair (he didn't tell them this was to reduce the smell just that he preferred less hair). So maybe mens preference for hair/no hair is linked to how attractive they find partner's body-scent?

'I wonder why men don't shave under their arms if having hair is so revolting and renders deodorant useless?'

In my experience they do! They shave or trim it very short. I've rarely seen a man with fluffy hair under arms.

Ahh ihatelego I feel so old now reading your post about you reading up on the internet when you had your first boyfriend - there was no internet (available) when I had my first haha!
Mind Im pleased Facebook wasn't around when I was young

So, if it's more hygienic to remove hair, why do we even have it in the first place...?

caspian can you not see that blocking your pores and sweat glands maybe isn't a brilliant idea? (Better to use an antibacterial) or just learn to sweat less. Sweating is after all unladylike and slovenly.

Oh what's that? Sweating is natural? Yup. So is hair.

And no hair does not soak up sweat. It's hair not towelling. What it does is wick it away from your skin to help it evaporate. Which is what sweat is for. Also the hair under your arm stops the skin sitting against skin and getting really nice and hot and enclosed and airless ideal for bacteria.

I don't really care one way or other about underarm hair. that said I personally think my fanjo looks better tidied but my dp does not give a toss

But if he said he wouldn't do it if I didn't shave it I wouldn't believe him for a start.

Cad

My DP does everywhere but his legs

Body hair has absolutely nothing to do with smelly sweat, it's simple genetics, a percentage of people ( can't remember specifics) have no body odour at all , their sweat lacks the chemicals that produce B.O.

I was on holiday last month and, shock horror, didn't shave my legs , armpits, or anywhere else, guess what, nobody fainted or ran away screaming about the smelly yeti-woman , Dh certainly doesn't care and I'm dark haired and quite hirsute , he is more than happy to rummage through my undergrowth . I don't shower every day either . The shame!

rummage through my undergrowth
I am picturing David Bellamy

caspian wow - there is none so misogynistic as women. "slovenly"? really?

Believe me - it isn't the time it takes that stops me from shaving, it is in order of importance:

1. The fact that I will not allow society to dictate to me what I should do with my own body. (I also will not EVER have cosmetic surgery for this reason).

1. The fact it is healthier by far to leave your body hair as nature intended. Shaving it all off, losing the antibacterial properties of the hair, the sweat wicking properties, combined with cutting grazing the skin and applying chemicals human skin wasn't designed to cope with is just a dumb dumb idea. Right up there with scented tampons - cos everyone needs chemicals up the fanjo too you know....dirty smelly disgusting otherwise....

Wow, so many crackpots. I kid ;)

OP your partner is being ridiculous, but it doesn't matter what we think, he won't change the way he thinks.

I stopped fully shaving down there whilst pregnant. Because I didn't really want docs, midwives, nurses messing about with my "pornstar" type shave haha! So I grew it back a bit. OH didn't care. baby now 3 months old and I still let it grow for check ups, it makes me feel more "covered up" strange I know!!

As for the people saying it's unclean, dirty, unhygienic to not preen it at all. Of course it isn't!! As long as you are cleaning yourself like any normal person there's no need for it to be dirty. In fact, it protects from infections.

Women who shave down there are more likely to get bacterial infections...etc.

Bodies don't tend to grow things that are better not being there apart from disease/illness. Pubic hair is natural!!

I still shave mine though most of the time, because I prefer it.

IceBeing.... hair is not antibacterial. It traps sweat, dirt and encourages bacteria to breed.

Have you ever lived in a hot climate?

It is not 'healthier' to have body-hair. That's like saying it is 'healthier' to shower once a month only, since showering strips skin of natural oils.
Keeping fresh, clean and being well-groomed is important in modern society. I do not think a woman (or man) can be well-groomed if they do not trim pubic and underarm hair.

I find it disgusting when I see people with straggly pubic hair hanging out of bikini legs at swimming pool. So do many other people.

Shaving is indeed bad for skin but shaving is a very British thing. In most countries women wax or epilate.