not to do this for DH

[Painintheface]

dh has just started working further away, which means he has to leave earlier and cannot spend until 830am more like 930 faffing around, chilling out, ironing his shirt etc.

He used to come home for lunch everyday but now that won't be possible. Last night he stayed up very very very late BUT didn't manage to iron his shirt or make a lunch we can't afford for him to buy lunch out so this morning he has been running around, getting ready for work.

He has been hinting that maybe I should make his lunch and do his shirt for him since I'm a sahm yes I'm a sahm but I do most of the housework, do all the dinners, run my own little business as an artist, as well as all the finances and kids activities.

So AIBU thinking said husband can do his own shirt and his own lunch the night before? Surely it's not my responsibility? It wouldn't be a massive hardship but tbh I hate getting the iron out with my two toddlers as they jump all over me and he's notoroiusly picky with how his lunch is prepped, that it's a pain in the arse!

God I remeber having to iron 5 of my dads shirt on a Sunday as one of my chores and hating it, and that was in the 80s!

I always did all the ironing in one go once a week, so there was always a shirt ready. He sorted his own lunch, though.

YANBU my DH leaves the house at 5.45am, he irons 5 shirts at the weekend (I don't iron any of his clothes), makes his sandwiches at night AND the DCs for the following morning and I'm a SAHM too.

Lazy git

He doesn't just laze around, his "job" per say is to load the dishwasher in the evening and that's IT. I don't expect him to do anything else.

He did used to do the rubbish but that stopped when I found a mound of bags in the bin area, if I asked him to do something if he can do it he would but I rarely ask.

It just doesn't seem right that I'm in bed at 8pm being shattered with the kids all day and he can stay up until 3am and still not of managed to make a sandwich and iron a shirt.

But I guess I'm being a bit unreasonable, I just hate ironing :(

YANBU. If I was doing a batch of ironing (unlikely, it it may happen) I'd include any work clothes DH needed doing, but as a regular task when he has time in an evening or weekend to do it? Nah.

I have only one or twice ironed a shirt for dh. I don't even iron for my older dc,if they want something done they do it themselves. Its one of my bugbears to be frank,the thankless shit work is delegated to the woman if shes a SAHM but not the man if hes a SAHD.

It depends on the relationship you have. I wouldn't think twice to do it for my DH but he appreciates me and does a lot for me too. We don't do the 'your problem, you sort it out' approach as we work together as a team.

Yanbu. If he has time in the evening and isn't doing anything other than 'faffing' then he can iron his own shirt and make his lunch. If you did the ironing and deliberately left his shirts that would be a bit mean. I agree with pp - why doesn't he iron 5 shirts every weekend and have them hanging waiting?

OP has stated buying lunch isn't affordable for them Boffin, quite right too, the cost of a soggy shop sandwich is a rip off.

Lol at boffin

I used to Iron my husband shirts for him in return for a 10 minute back rub per shirt

Now we have 2 dc I just do one every so often. I generally try to avoid having to Iron anything.

I also used to make his lunch, to save him money, but now he just buys it everyday.

I make lunch for DH when I remember but it will take a career ending emergency before I iron. But he works like a beast and isn't generally faffing.

What would he do if he didn't have a wife?

If he was single he'd have to do it.

Why can't he iron ALL his shirts for the week in one to, who irons their clothes for each day if they are pushed for time, surely you do them all on a day off?

He doesn't go to bed til 3.00 am , blimey I only ever see one 3.00 and that's the afternoon one.

Good God how does he last the day?

IF I did ironing, I would do his shirts but as it is I don't iron. I only iron if the kids clothes need it which to be honest they don't as they come straight from the tumble dryer and are hung up.

I'd make the packed lunch but 1. He is fussy 2. I don't make packed lunches yet as dc are only little and have small variety lunches like fruit, veg, bread sticks etc. if I made a big meal I would obviously packaged some up for his lunch but tbh that's rarely the case as I'm quite good at portion sizes.

Wouldn't bother me. I'd do 5 shirts one afternoon and that'd be it. Wouldn't do his lunch unless I was doing one for myself / it was similar to the soup scenario above.

I do all the ironing in one go as it is so it wouldn't be a pain to add on 5 work shirts. And I quite like ironing!

YANBU at all. There is a difference between ironing someone's shirts because you're ironing anyway and getting the ironing stuff out because they CBA to do it themselves. OP is home all two with two small kids AND runs a business - all her DH does is load the dishwasher and some posters expect her to iron his shirts and make his lunch as well?!

He's a grown man. He's quite capable of making himself lunch and sorting himself out for work without his wife doing it for him!

So he does the classic trick of doing a job badly, in the hope that you take it off his hands?

Lazy, useless fecker. Still thinks he's a teenager. I was married to one of those, once.

Yanbu. With 2 toddlers, I would give up on ironing entirely tbh! If he can't iron his own shirt, tell him to stick a jumper over the top... What?

YANBU yes it might be nice if you were doing it anyway but if his only job is the dishwasher it's not like he's rushed off his feet.

Anyway I'm on your side.

I don't iron
I never iron
If it remains creased it doesn't get worn
Life is too short for ironing.

DH said that when I did his washing I didn't shake them in the correct way to avoid ironing. I think he wanted me to iron them.

I just stopped washing them instead.

I do the bare minimum of ironing for both of us on Sunday when dh doe bed/bath sorts the dishes from dinner etc as I am a lot faster/quicker and will do whilst having glass wine watching tv
Lunches are a bit less fixed so if having leftovers - just tub at both at same time, if sandwiches he often makes for both as up earlier...he probably made more of his own lunches when I was sahm as I didn't need one..
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I certainly dont think you should as you are sahm- you just need to find a pattern that suits you both....some people are ok with sandwiches from the freezer so it may be better for him to do a batch a the weekend- I'm a bit very fussy so have to spend longer but I do it as its my choice....

My DH takes his shirts to a dry cleaner. It is quite cheap per shirt and I think it is money well spent. Maybe £12 in total, including a casual shirt each week.

Lunch - he can make sandwiches and freeze?

Given that his only other contribution appears to be running the dishwasher YANBU at all. PP who have referred to being a partnership/therefore why wouldn't you help him out have missed the fact that your DH is already not holding up his end of that partnership.

Tell him to take up new shirt shoplifting