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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about DPs parents and a car seat?

185 replies

passmethewineplease · 30/03/2015 09:57

Honestly need to hear if I'm being unreasonable and a little anxious/paranoid.

My DS is 17 months and is currently rear facing due to it being safer. I don't think MIL really understands why I do it tbh.

They've been on about getting a car seat for their car and asked me to have a look but I have sort of put it off as I didn't want him forward facing.

They have gone and spent 120 pounds on a forward facing seat. I am not overly pleased tbh, they knew my stance on it. She even said she didn't want RF she wanted FF. Surely it's not about what she wants it is what's best for my son's safety?! She says oh I haven't ever had a crash and I don't drive on fast roads, like that makes me feel better. it doesn't have to be her driving badly for a crash to happen someone else could cause it.

I don't feel like I can say anything. probably because I am a bit of a coward and panic at confrontation

He won't be using it all the time just occasionally.

Am I being a bit OTT? DP says it's a good FF seat but that's about it.Hmm

OP posts:
Minitant · 30/03/2015 09:58

You are being a bit OTT in my opinion.

Islanegra · 30/03/2015 09:59

YANBU but unless you're willing to supply a RF seat I don't know that you have much choice if you're going to let him go with Her.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/03/2015 10:00

Yes you are being very unreasonable. It's not like she is not using any car seat, it's occassionally.

Original poster
passmethewineplease · 30/03/2015 10:00

That was a quick reply! I'm perfectly willing to hear I'm being OTT. Since the DC I've found myself becoming very anxious and paranoid about car accidents. More so after passing my test last July.

OP posts:
StockingFullOfCoal · 30/03/2015 10:00

Pretty sure the law is changing soon and toddlers have to stay RF till 4? I could be wrong though.

Haggisfish · 30/03/2015 10:00

Honestly I think you are being a bit ott. I wanted rf extended use seats but they were just too expensive and hard to get hold of, especially for occasional pil use. They've got a good ff one-make sure it's fitted properly and that they can use it. Pick your fights -I don't think this is worth falling out over. If they are generally rude and ignore your wishes, that's a different ball game!

SnotQueen · 30/03/2015 10:00

How occasionally will he be using it?

Littlef00t · 30/03/2015 10:01

I think she has undermined you and that not acceptable, but objectively a ff for occasional use is fine. It's not like she's using the wrong stage seat, it's just a bit less safe, many people use this for their dc. Yes statistically it's less safe, but how much less in real terms is likely to be v low.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/03/2015 10:01

Mine are older teens now and were in ff seats from a very young age, back in the day they just were iirc.

You seem a little pfb to me, at some point he'll go forward facing won't he.

Molichite · 30/03/2015 10:02

Is he on the verge of outgrowing his old seat?

Original poster
passmethewineplease · 30/03/2015 10:02

Haggis for that price they could of purchased a RF seat. I don't expect them to fork out hundreds.

snotqueen maybe once a week or once a fortnight.

OP posts:
Original poster
passmethewineplease · 30/03/2015 10:04

I wouldn't mind being called pfb but he's my second! Blush

I think I've read up so much and read internal decapitation that I have freaked myself out. its definitely been worse since I passed.

molichite nope no where near, I got him one that rf till roughly four.

OP posts:
SycamoreMum · 30/03/2015 10:05

Do the compliment sandwich and don't fall out over something like this; "Oh how lovely of you to buy him a seat. I actually prefer him in RF as I feel its safer, but no, thank you so much this."

TywysogesGymraeg · 30/03/2015 10:06

I think you're being ridiculous. Millions of children every day travel in forward facing car seats with no issues at all.

Chickenschicken · 30/03/2015 10:08

I'd say yanu as I want mine rf in every car but if you knew they could get one for 120pounds then you shouldn't have put it off, therefore they went and bought what they wanted.

SunshineAndShadows · 30/03/2015 10:10

Doesn't your OP say that they asked you to look at car seats with them and you avoided if? In that case you can hardly blame them for making the 'wrong' choice. They asked for your input, you refused and now you're pissed off with them? YABU

TheMShip · 30/03/2015 10:11

Can you move your RF seats into their car when needed? Mine's a bit of a faff but not really that difficult, and it goes in most vehicles. Saves them the £120 if they return the FF seat and you'd feel better.

Original poster
passmethewineplease · 30/03/2015 10:11

Sunshine I had already told them my preference is rear facing. It's not like they didn't know.

OP posts:
Original poster
passmethewineplease · 30/03/2015 10:12

Chicken I don't think it would of made a difference. She already said she wanted a ff seats hence why I put it off.

OP posts:
Original poster
passmethewineplease · 30/03/2015 10:13

The M ship this is what we did! It's a belted seat and easy to install. They didn't even need a seat!

OP posts:
cookiefiend · 30/03/2015 10:13

Yanbu your child you make decisions about his safety. Whether they agree or not is besides the point. However if they only ever drive in a town or city with him youCan relax a bit- they will be unlikely to be travelling fast enough to cause death.

How stupid though- as though driving occasionally with him removes the risk of accident.

TheMShip · 30/03/2015 10:13

Also I don't get the "ff is safe for occasional use" thing. If there's an accident, there's an accident, and RF is definitely safer for under 4s. Doesn't matter how frequently the kids are in the car, it only takes once. I think YANBU and maybe you should have a chat with PILs, get that FF seat returned, and you either get used to swapping your ERF seat in and out of cars, or top up the cost to get a decent ERF seat for their car.

BoffinMum · 30/03/2015 10:13

You are being OTT. If it meets EU regulations the statistical odds are miniscule of a problem, so miniscule that it's not worth any fuss at all. Nice that they went out and spent money on a new seat, so you know the provenance (more important).

TheMShip · 30/03/2015 10:14

The M ship this is what we did! It's a belted seat and easy to install. They didn't even need a seat!

Yeah, definitely YANBU then. Stupid waste of money.

Islanegra · 30/03/2015 10:14

I think you need to supply a RF seat then, and they can return theirs.