about DPs parents and a car seat?

[passmethewineplease]

Honestly need to hear if I'm being unreasonable and a little anxious/paranoid.

My DS is 17 months and is currently rear facing due to it being safer. I don't think MIL really understands why I do it tbh.

They've been on about getting a car seat for their car and asked me to have a look but I have sort of put it off as I didn't want him forward facing.

They have gone and spent 120 pounds on a forward facing seat. I am not overly pleased tbh, they knew my stance on it. She even said she didn't want RF she wanted FF. Surely it's not about what she wants it is what's best for my son's safety?! She says oh I haven't ever had a crash and I don't drive on fast roads, like that makes me feel better. it doesn't have to be her driving badly for a crash to happen someone else could cause it.

I don't feel like I can say anything. probably because I am a bit of a coward and panic at confrontation

He won't be using it all the time just occasionally.

Am I being a bit OTT? DP says it's a good FF seat but that's about it.

Keturah it was both. I think the poor side impact protection was the showstopper, but it being easy to fit incorrectly was also mentioned as a reason to avoid it.

A seat can be easy to fit incorrectly without seeming particularly onerous to fit. No idea if this is the case or not here.

You being a new driver is a lot more of a risk than a ff seat.

I'd never even heard of rear facing beyond 9 months seats until a few months ago.

Your reaction is disproportionate. Let it go.

YANBU. I think the biggest issue here is that MIL has completely undermined you by going against your wishes. You and DH make the decisions, not her. I would just get DH to tell her that you explicitly said no ff seat and that your child will not be using theirs. It's their problem that they've basically thrown £ down the drain.

Sorry but yes of course FF seats are safe.

RF might be safer. Not the point. FF seats ARE ALSO SAFE.

NO car seat, or car, is crash tested over 40MPH, ever. That is because any faster than 40MPH and the forces on the vehicles are so unpredictable it is impossible to test how they perform, let alone a little bit of plastic inside the car at the time of impact.

Which?, NCAP and ADAC test at 40mph, as do Britax and Maxi Cosi. (Maxi Cosi and NCAP test at 60-70km/h which is 40-45 mph). The legal minimum test in the UK is 30mph.

You are arguing, worrying, over tiny tiny differences which are going to affect a handful of crashes. Do you think if the car is crushed or smashed to pieces it's going to matter whether they are rear or forward facing? Plus the figures are absolutely miniscule. 0.05% is five times 0.01%, but 99.95% is imperceptibly close to 99.99%. (example figures)

(I do have to point out that the SIDS and dummies link was disproved, not that it's relevant to the car seat discussion.)

Yes absolutely ERF seats should be available and I don't dispute that they are safer than FF seats. I do think that a lot of people get extremely het up and anxious over it when it doesn't actually make anywhere near as much difference in real terms as they think it does. And I think that is a real shame, that there is so much anxiety and worry over it. I mean, you might as well buy a pushchair which is bulletproof and reinforced in case a car comes off the road or runs through a red light. At a cost of hundreds of pounds. And anybody who doesn't buy one is a bad parent.

OP, would I be right in thinking that you, like me, haven't found any statistics evidencing any link between passenger decapitation and children in forward facing seats? I do think the likelihood is vanishingly small.

Sorry to hijack but Bertie, could you send a link to the dummy disproving, I'd be really interested to see it.

The point I was trying to make is that car crash risks are very low and the difference from a variety of car seat is not worth worrying about (providing there is a car seat and it is fitted correctly).

ici I haven't even attempted to look yet. still not eaten dinner yet thanks dc

The stages side impact doesn't really bothered me as much as a ff seats does. Partly because his seat is in the middle (I was told that is safest as it's also helping to shield them from side impacts) Also the most common type of crash is a fronta l for which the stages got a good enough score for me.

I can't honestly see how anyone could find the stages hard to fit, it's really simple.

after looking in to mil car seat it appears it is a good FF seat and you can get a top teather to make it even more stable. she didn't buy this though as like I said she doesn't plan on crashing, who the fuck does?!

I'm going to buy this myself.

I do wish they'd put him rf though. I don't want him to get to used to ff and then not like rf, through given the amount of time he'd spend in theirs vs ours I'm not too worried about that.

I'm aware I'm overly anxious. I can't quite put my finger on why. I think it's because car crashes happen daily. They're common. And you can't account for other people's driving.

Then put him RF, OP. Insist. I don't know why you wouldn't; you know in the event of a crash, RF IS safer than FF.

I wouldn't let a my ds travel in any car seat that didn't have my approval. You've done the research. You've made the decision, Anybody carrying your dc should respect that. I'd not let them use it if I were you.

YNBU

Hands I probably can but not on my phone. On puke watch :(