To feel violated and so so angry with boyfriend.

[CherryFlavourPez]

NC for this so I don't out myself.

My 'D'P and I have been together for 2 years, I have a DC from a previous relationship who is 3. We are both still young and I've made it clear I don't want any more DC for a long time, preferably when I'm married.

'D'P has always seemed to understand and respect this but has had thoughts of wanting a baby that he has expressed to me. My answer has always been 'not yet'.

Well last night we were about to have sex when I realised we were out of condoms. He said it would be alright, he'd pull out and he was sure it would be fine just this once. I obliged (I know, please don't judge me). When it got to that 'time' for him I could tell it was going to happen so went to move off of him and he held my arms so I couldn't and didn't pull out.

I was and still am really really angry. He says he couldn't help it but I just don't believe him. I tried to move and he wouldn't let me. I've been so upset all day, I'm so mad that he would purposely take that risk when it wasn't what we had agreed. He has no idea how difficult raising a child is so I don't think he understands how serious the situation is.

AIBU to be so upset and angry and be seriously rethinking our relationship?

It's rape, OP. You said it was okay so long as he didn't ejaculate inside you and then he did anyway. You didn't consent to tat.

I'm so sorry - get the MAP and leave this fucknugget.

Reproductive Coercion.

OP What he did to you is on this list. Is there anything else on the list that he has tried in the past?

www.safepass.org/index.php/want-info/what-is-domestic-violence/cycle-of-violence/reproductive-coercion

So sorry that you are going through this. I agree with the other posters - this is disgusting behaviour. Unforgivable.

He isn't obviously abusive but he can be quite manipulative. But it's always slyly, so he can explain it away if I get angry and make me feel like I'm overreacting. He doesn't play a big part in my childs life at all as I don't feel we are there yet, and I want to be sure before I bring someone into my child's life like that and its always a sore point with him.

Please don't panic OP. There are two types of pills used - one of which is effective for up to 5 days (not that I would leave it that long). Know this because my DH was a wally and genuinely couldn't help himself a couple of weeks back.

I feel chilled reading this, so sorry OP hope you get some good advice and hand holding here.

makes me feel like I'm making a huge deal over nothing

OMG it is the furthest thing from nothing. But he will keep telling himself that no doubt.

LTB.

It was rape as legally defined (am lawyer so F off anyone who is saying it's not rape or not 'real' rape) but the label matters less than how you feel about it. Of course he will laugh it off and try to minimise it - it's that or accept he did something really wrong.

Sorry but my advice is also ditch. ASAP. Esp keeps playing it down. He does NOT get to tell you how to feel about the assault.

And 'couldn't help it' when he held you down ? Bollocks.

Way to victim blame there. niamh

Please ignore that ignorant post from Niamhisnotarealname, OP

I do know it was stupid to agree to it. I did ask in my OP for you all not to judge me. I didn't realise until very late that we didn't have any and I guess got carried away in the moment.

FFS Niamhisnotarealname you are a piece of work.

the fact that he is not sorry and that he is belittling your justified reaction shows he does not respect you nor women in general.

you will be well rid. Hold your head up and don't give a toss what he thinks. he is wrong. End of

Victim blame? She agreed to have sex without contraception.

Whether or not it was wise to not use a condom here, is NOT the question, Niamh

Please dont stay with him. What happens nrxt time you dont want to do something? If he wants a blow job but you dont, or anal and you dont? he can fucking not abuse your body like that.
Cunt.

Secondly, your just as much to blame for this as him by agreeing to do it bareback.

Total bollocks.

Secondly, your just as much to blame for this as him by agreeing to do it bareback.

Really? She forced him to rape her?

Reproductive coercion IS abuse OP IMO this badly needs to be taught in schools.

And Niamh you are showing breathtaking ignorance as well as victim blaming.

MrsDutschie and anybody else relying on withdrawal 'method' - you know it does not work, yes?
Semen escapes well before ejaculation. If you want to avoid pregnancy, please do not rely on withdrawal.

NIAMH, holding your partners arms down is rape. Where's the confusion?

Ugh - you are NOT 'just as much to blame', unless Niamh thinks you are somehow responsible for his actions. How thick!

Niamh so if your husband agrees to pay the electricity bill and then only pays half of it without telling you is that ok then? Because he has still paid it.