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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
Weebirdie · 25/03/2015 11:05

Yes you certainly are confused Hellsbells.

Not only do you seem to think your some kind of thread policewoman, neither do you seem to realise a person can answer any post they like, and that my reply was to people urging the OP to text the woman who owed her the money.

I hope you feel better soon.

Vycount · 25/03/2015 11:13

Well, to be fair, Op is hardly likely to text the woman now that she has the money in her purse is she?

OnlyLovers · 25/03/2015 11:17

Er, hang on, Bit and Weebirdie.

It's Weebirdie who said 'I wouldn't send a text while she's on holiday - for the childrens sake.'

hellsbells knows she's away with her sister not the kids, and was referring to this in her 'RTFT' comment.

nauticant · 25/03/2015 11:18

Personally I wouldn't send goady texts to her. What I would do though is ask her DH whether in the future any activities involving your DSs can be arranged via him.

You must have a nice view from that lofty moral high ground OP!

SuperFlyHigh · 25/03/2015 11:33

badlad - the friend's DH only got involved because he was the receiver of the returned £20 to give back to OP (her DH in this case).

Yes, it is a bit strange that he discusses his wife's stinginess and its affects on friends/family but maybe she has form for this and has pissed others off and maybe this is the catalyst for him saying something to her about this.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/03/2015 11:36

Sorry, my mistake. Apologies hells.

StayingSamVimesGirl · 25/03/2015 11:38

That is an excellent outcome. I hope her dh has a stern word with her about this, when she gets home!

DoJo · 25/03/2015 11:44

FWIW I read Weebirdie's post as recommending not stirring up any more bad feeling between the mothers because the boys are still friends and there is no need to seek out any more disagreement, not because she thought the children were actually on holiday with the outrageous cah.

OnlyLovers · 25/03/2015 11:46

I see what you mean, doJo, but she said 'while she's on holiday'. Unless that just means 'she won't appreciate a text but she'll appreciate it even less if it interrupts her nice holiday.'

Anyway, I feel like the thread police now Blush so I'll butt out!

SecondMrsAshwell · 25/03/2015 13:00

D'ja know, I don't think the DH will say a damn thing to her. My bet is that he has fought this battle, lost it and just covers her arse when he's told about it to prevent bad feeling.

But I'm glad you got your cash back.

PS: Thanks for the welcome, ladies. Feel at home already

WhinersAreWeners · 25/03/2015 13:00

I have no intentions of texting her again, whether she's on holiday or not!

I know, I felt so sorry for her dh. He was clearly embarrassed. For those asking about dh and friends dh (?) they see each other often at the gym but know other in a similar way that she and I do. They see each other at the boys hobby and school pick ups, birthday parties. But know each other quite well now as they always have a chat. Hope that answers any queries there?!

I do feel like it's a good outcome as far as I'm concerned, I don't think I was rude during the course of it and I don't think she's got away with it so I'm quite happy. Not looking forward to seeing her at her first school drop off wh she's back though!

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 25/03/2015 13:18

Wasn't her husband on holiday with her then?

Obviously an entirely possible scenario.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/03/2015 13:22

Just be polite, a cheery hello and off you go, and that's that.

Discounted · 25/03/2015 13:22

So, he just coughed up without checking with her that the money was actually owed? That speaks volumes.

mrsallergy · 25/03/2015 13:34

The OP stated up thread that mrs brassneck went on holiday with her sister.

Whiners - what will you say if she ask to borrow money again? I'll bet she does - she seems to have no shame!

nauticant · 25/03/2015 14:05

what will you say if she ask to borrow money again?

That's easy. The OP will lend it as soon as she gets a confirmatory text from the woman's DH guaranteeing the loan so that he'll repay in case of default.

SauvignonBlanche · 25/03/2015 14:12

Maybe you should tell a known blabber mouth the story before she does? Wink

ConstanceMoan · 25/03/2015 14:46

So you had to get your DH to sort it out for you?

nauticant · 25/03/2015 14:53

No. She put a £20 you-owe-me under her pillow and the following morning the loan fairy had sorted it out for her.

OnlyLovers · 25/03/2015 14:54

Oh, behave yourself, Constance.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 25/03/2015 14:54

good result but OMG that she has form for this sort of thing!! her poor husband, has she no financial responsibility. Words fail me, what an example to set your kid.

glittertits · 25/03/2015 14:56

limited She is on holiday with her sister, DH has the kids. It says so upthread in one of the OP's posts.

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 25/03/2015 15:04

She sounds very much like the woman who wanted a lift to work in that very long thread some time ago.

PrincessFiorimonde · 25/03/2015 15:26

FriteFuaite

Jon Ronson thread (His wife's user name there is Heston, as you'll soon find out.)

IIRC there was a similar Tim Dowling thread, with the vital difference that TD's wife joined in the criticism.

Sorry for hijack, OP! But glad you got it sorted.

limitedperiodonly · 25/03/2015 15:31

glittertits

Like I said. It's an entirely possible scenario and I'm glad it's worked out so well.

I happen to agree with Badlad that it was poor form of her husband to spill his guts about her previous behaviour with virtual strangers.

It's £20. I can't understand the level of drama over it.

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