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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
textfan · 24/03/2015 18:14

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WhinersAreWeners · 24/03/2015 18:23

There's no way I want the boys having to ferry money about- Id rather not get it back.

I've decided to have no more engagement with her. Dh is going to text her dh tonight though!

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 24/03/2015 18:26

Op that's the best way to go no more engagement or shaming her much as you'd like to as doing so can come back to bite you on the bum...

However, if you speak to anyone in future who knows her etc it may be wise to warn them re money etc... So they don't get taken in. I know I'd like to be warned.

GERTI · 24/03/2015 18:26

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limitedperiodonly · 24/03/2015 18:35

There's no way I want the boys having to ferry money about- Id rather not get it back.

Fair enough.

I'd probably concur. Sorry but I can't remember how old you said your son is. If he's nine or over I'd trust him to take custody of £20 and perhaps leave it with a teacher if he didn't want to stash it in his sock.

But if you don't want the £20 back just drop it and drop her. I can't imagine what message your DH is going to text her DH with.

It's all getting a bit silly now.

nauticant · 24/03/2015 18:35

I've decided to have no more engagement with her. Dh is going to text her dh tonight though!

If you can get it this way, with your DH dealing politely with hers, that'll show her up very effectively indeed.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 24/03/2015 18:40

welcome to MN SecondMrsAshwell :)

CactusAnnie · 24/03/2015 18:45

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BitOutOfPractice · 24/03/2015 18:53

I hadn't heard of him either cactus

OP please please please tell us what your DH texts to Mr Brass Neck

LindyHemming · 24/03/2015 19:11

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gamerchick · 24/03/2015 19:12

Nope and I'm getting sick of seeing that purple box Angry

CitySnicker · 24/03/2015 19:16

I wouldn't trust her to actually give it to her son to pass on.

Weebirdie · 24/03/2015 19:22

Yep, I would also simply reply with a 'Thank you'.

It will properly take the wind out of her sails.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 24/03/2015 19:26

blimey, do not agree for the boys to act as go between - she has already shown she is not to be trusted, so she may end up lying that her DS gave your DS the money, when he didn't

she is one entitled madam!

CactusAnnie · 24/03/2015 19:30

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GoofyIsACow · 24/03/2015 19:46

I have never heard of Jon Ronson either.

Fucking hell OP, she has more front than Blackpool! Cheeky bitch!

stillwearingaredribbon · 24/03/2015 19:47

I love Jon Ronson although I am not sure what he has to do with this thread

The psychopath test is so funny so is the men who stare at goats and Them

redshoeblueshoe · 24/03/2015 20:34

Ha ha Jon Ronsons latest book is about what happens when shit goes viral and destroys peoples lives. OP I hope your DH gets your money back.

CunningCat · 24/03/2015 20:36

The psychopath test was an excellent read.

clam · 24/03/2015 20:50

Interesting what you said about her son not enjoying the activity because he wasn't in the team he wanted. In school, we wouldn't stand for that nonsense, so I'd be surprised if the venue would refund based on a hissy fit thrown by a child whose parent panders to him.

This is a friendship (between you and her as well as between the boys) that I would NOT be encouraging.

woodhill · 24/03/2015 21:51

yes she's not really doing her ds any favours. sometimes in life you have to make the best of a difficult situation.

I would have made my dc stay as I'd forked out £20 (or not in this case) and driven a distance, plus having lunch with friend.

YvesJutteau · 24/03/2015 23:30

As well as being Properly Famous, Jon Ronson is Mumsnet Famous because there was once a thread criticising him (which admittedly had perhaps become a smidge personal) and his wife turned up on the thread to defend him and lay into MNers. It has passed into site folklore.

textfan · 24/03/2015 23:43

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FatSwan · 25/03/2015 00:07

Well, just caught up with this thread. The balls on this woman leaves me speechless!

You're right-no further engagement. But I'd be telling other parents. Because shit like this comes up.

sykadelic · 25/03/2015 01:28

Wow. Her "you're not usually tight with money" is the worst part of it all. So basically she's decided to take advantage of you because she's used to you just rolling over and taking it? Is that what she's saying?

Just wow.

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