To think I shouldn't pay?

[WhinersAreWeners]

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

Hmmm yeah I do agree that her DH was abit indiscreet really, I'd be gutted if my dh spoke about me like that behind my back! But at the same time, I'm that cross with her I'm happy he did....think she kind of deserves it and it made me feel better! Which I know isn't very kind, but nor is she!! I think he felt he owed an explanation at being faced with the scale of her audacity. Poor guy.

I think he felt he owed an explanation at being faced with the scale of her audacity.

Yes, this.

PrincessFiorimonde

Thank you!! I had missed that thread! (but HOW??! )

Looking forward to reading all of that with a

[pleased to be vindicated emoticon] Tim Dowling wrote a whole column about how he was never Googling himself again after happening upon the phrase "Tim Dowling, for example, is a twat" on Mumsnet.

"[Name of celebrity], for example, is a twat" was a bit of a Thing on Mumsnet for a while after that, with later variants of "[Name of celebrity], for example, is [some other descriptor]" and even the slightly meta "[Name of celebrity], for example..." but it seems to have died down now.

(Dowling and Ronson have even Tweeted each other about their MN trauma...)

Glad it all got sorted out W, her poor DH, but at least you know she's just a bitch and that it wasn't personal!

Agree with this:

Send her a text saying "all sorted now. Yr DH came round with the money when we explained what it was for" and let her sweat.

Luckily the OP has already said she's going to let it all lie now, because this is really not a good suggestion. Why would you dump the decent one in it, just to have the petty last word?

I suspect her husband was blindsided by the text conversation, mortified, and said exactly what he thought as a result. Don't blame him, really. It can't be fun, sorting this stuff out. She sounds like she has Ishoos.

Glad it's resolved.

Thanks Limited. I thought I must be going mad when nobody else seemed to think so but I'd have been furious if my wife had discussed my failings and in particular the strain it was putting on friends and family with people he barely knew. The best way to handle it for me would be for him to have paid the money, made a noncommittal apology, and then gone home and told his wife when she gets back from holiday what's up mortifying position she had to put him in.

BadLad - I would guess that's what actually happened.

I've never met a man who'll go into detail about his partner's failings outside an all-male meeting in a pub, an MRA encounter group or a one-on-one with his divorce solicitor.

Even if she is the female equivalent of Pol Pot, the most he will say is: 'She sometimes gets a bit worked up.'

To be fair though, if this was after the OP had showed a series of texts which demonstrated exactly this kind of behaviour, perhaps her husband surmised that they would already have guessed that this wasn't completely out of character for her, so it might not have seemed like such an indiscretion to admit that it wasn't a one-off.

I think the exchange between the two husbands might have been exaggerated so as not to disappoint readers of this thread.

Limitedperiodonly - it's not just £20! It's a really shitty way to behave regardless of the sum of money involved. Jeez.

Faced with that I'd say: 'Mmm. Anyway, here's the £20. See you at the gym MrWhiners. Bye.'

But that's just me.

I am a woman, btw.