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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
Momagain1 · 25/03/2015 08:45

Her poor dh, and her poor ds. She will lose him all his friends. His dad should start making sure the boy and he have sorted cash for this sort of thing in future, and leave his mum out of it. She is an embarrassment.

GoooRooo · 25/03/2015 08:52

What a great outcome! I wonder how the conversation went between her and her DH afterwards!

PeterParkerSays · 25/03/2015 09:06

Send her a text saying "all sorted now. Yr DH came round with the money when we explained what it was for" and let her sweat.

I'm stunned she has form for inviting herself / her kids to events, "forgetting" money and then refusing to pay. Outrageous.

At least you never have to give her lifts / take her kid to events again, just focus on your DS and his hobby. more front than Blackpool that one

Pooseyfrumpture · 25/03/2015 09:09

That's an unexpected and awesome outcome Grin

FriteFuaite · 25/03/2015 09:12

YvesJutteau

As well as being Properly Famous, Jon Ronson is Mumsnet Famous because there was once a thread criticising him (which admittedly had perhaps become a smidge personal) and his wife turned up on the thread to defend him and lay into MNers. It has passed into site folklore

That wasn't Jon Ronson, that was Tim Dowling

PlumpingIsQuiteUpForThud · 25/03/2015 09:14

I'm glad the boy has one conscientious parent!!

Aeroflotgirl · 25/03/2015 09:16

Well done for getting it sorted. Her dh sounds lovely, what's he doing with her. She has a firm for messing friends about and being a freeloader. If she had to pay the organisers herself, she would not have got a refund I tell you. I would stay away from her, just be polite if you come across her.

BitterChocolate · 25/03/2015 09:19

I always confuse Jon Ronson with Jon Holmes from The Now Show. And I think Jon Holmes sounds very like Richard Hammond, who I can't stand, and I (very unfairly) hold that against Jon Ronson.

I'm glad that got sorted out OP, I feel quite sorry for her DH who seems to have to do quite a bit of smoothing over and apologising because his DW is arsey.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/03/2015 09:20

I would text her, all sorted now thanks, your dh very kindly came round with the money.

tulipbulbs · 25/03/2015 09:21

hilarious. Rushed home from the school drop off to see the outcome. I'm listening to my mother's words saying "rise above it", don't lower yourself to her level. Disengage. Feel so sorry for her husband, he's not his wife's keeper but must get judged by her behaviour, all the time. Maybe, leave the child off the hook and arrange all activities through him. Every school has its' characters working for everyone's else's amusement, one of ours is horse box woman (story so funny that it would out me). On a more serious note, talk to class teacher about what happened. Just ask her to keep an eye on things, in case her son leads a movement against yours.

OnlyLovers · 25/03/2015 09:22

I'm late to this thread, but WOW! The brass neckery of some people never ceases to amaze me.

Her poor sweet DH. Why doesn't he just stamp out this kind of behaviour, though, if he knows she's got form for it? I'd hang my DP out to dry if he behaved badly and it needed me to come and sort it out.

lottieandmias · 25/03/2015 09:24

I'm glad you got your money back and also that her DH is a better person than she is.

AlpacaPicnic · 25/03/2015 09:52

Blimey, I feel like I need a sit down after that! Bless her poor DH, but his reaction makes me think he's had experience of sorting this kind of situation out before.

Silly woman, to lose a friend and alienate her DS from activities all for the sake of a £20 note...

BadLad · 25/03/2015 10:11

Let me get this straight. Her husband came round and discussed his wife's stinginess and the effect it is having on their relations with their family and friends with you and your husband (someone he knows at the gym and that person's wife)?

Really?

This is an "only on mumsnet" moment for me.

M00nUnit · 25/03/2015 10:19

What a great thread, with an extremely satisfactory ending. Well done OP Grin

CheeseandPickledOnion · 25/03/2015 10:30

Awesome thread. What an outrageous cow! Glad you got your money back!

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 25/03/2015 10:32

Agree with this:

Send her a text saying "all sorted now. Yr DH came round with the money when we explained what it was for" and let her sweat.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 25/03/2015 10:38

I think the most frustrating thing about this situation is she was going to continue thinking she was right and view op as some tigh fisted loon for requesting her money back. Hopefully now her DH is involved she'll get the message that she was being a test.

It's so refreshing to get some resolution on a thread like this! Well done OP!

Weebirdie · 25/03/2015 10:41

I wouldn't send a text while she's on holiday - for the childrens sake.

hellsbellsmelons · 25/03/2015 10:42

Well done you and well done to your DH and of course, her DH.
I've been following this and it's just crazy.
Great outcome!

hellsbellsmelons · 25/03/2015 10:43

Weebirdie I think you need to RTFT. Bless ya!

Weebirdie · 25/03/2015 10:47

Hellsbells, I did. Bless ya.

hellsbellsmelons · 25/03/2015 10:55

But it's all resolved. No texting is going to be done.
I'm confused Hmm

Box5883284322679964228 · 25/03/2015 11:01

At least both the husbands have good common sense

BitOutOfPractice · 25/03/2015 11:03

hellsbells she's away with her sister, not the kids

But I agree that there's no point in texting now. Lofty, icy dignity now OP

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