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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 22/03/2015 19:00

That reminds me of one of my catalogue customers who bought a pricey bit of kit. Only to tell me a couple of months in that they had sold it so wouldn't be paying me as they didn't have it anymore.

Don't mince your words in your reply.

ragged · 22/03/2015 19:01

Beyond rude, it's not your fault he didn't enjoy!! I think I'd be having strong words.

CrystalCove · 22/03/2015 19:02

But she knows you have paid! I couldn't carry on being friends with someone who was happy to see me out of pocket.

BasinHaircut · 22/03/2015 19:04

Whatever you respond, don't worry about upsetting. Her because she is a cheeky bitch!

I'd respond that I was a bit confused as I've already paid, so if she doesn't pay I'll be out of pocket not the event organisers, and see what she says. If she doesn't pay then if have nothing more to do with her, no favours certainly.

Schoolaroundthecorner · 22/03/2015 19:05

That's outrageous, no way should you be out of pocket. The cheek of her!

Schoolaroundthecorner · 22/03/2015 19:07

I'm sorry he didn't enjoy it but you still owe me £20. If you want to claim it back afterwards from the organisers that's your call.

Yes, send this!

ChrisMooseAlbanians · 22/03/2015 19:15
Shock I'm sorry he didn't enjoy it but you still owe me £20. If you want to claim it back afterwards from the organisers that's your call.

^^ this

NerrSnerr · 22/03/2015 19:15

Bloody hell. What a cheek!!!

N0RMABATES · 22/03/2015 19:18
Shock Wow...just...wow
eyebags63 · 22/03/2015 19:20

outrageous. cheeky bitch and not much of a friend if you ask me.

Evabeaversprotege · 22/03/2015 19:23

No way Shock just No Way!

Tell her it's YOU that's out the money & you want it back!

PHANTOMnamechanger · 22/03/2015 19:24

OMG, has "friend" got form for this sort of thing?? How ANYONE can think it's an acceptable stance to take is beyond me Shock

PrettyFeet · 22/03/2015 19:25

Another one saying what a cheeky cow!

She really wouldnt be a friend of mine any longer.

Fairiequeen · 22/03/2015 19:26

That's dreadful, is she usually a bit crafty when it comes to not paying for things?

MillieV · 22/03/2015 19:27
Shock

Forward her this thread, and let her see how bonkers other people think she is. Wink

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 19:28

Wow thanks everyone,I wasn't expecting such a unanimous response! I would never expect anyone to pay for my kid even of he hated something- I would be mortified but I'm very much the other way, I would rather pay everything than nothing and didn't know if that was making me too sensitive about it. I responded (before this thread) saying that as she knew I'd already paid for her son? And she replied again saying she just didn't feel she should pay as her sound hadn't liked it. I Was using this thread as a sounding board re what to reply as I didn't want to get too confrontational as the kids lole each other and go to school together as well as clubs, have he same circle of friends and I don't want it to have repercussions for him? But my husband is outraged and wants me to be tough?

OP posts:
Purplepoodle · 22/03/2015 19:31

I'd text her and say you owe my £20. If your son didn't like it then tough, you chose to take him, you knew how much it cost.

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 19:32

To those asking about previous form, I don't really know her other than through the boys- they've been in school together r for years now so over time I've begun to think of her as a friend, although we only see each other through the boys, we do get on well and talk to each other often. Now I think about the odd night out we've had in a bigger group, she never buys rounds of drinks but always accepts from others, so maube she's really tight?! That's all I have to go off!

OP posts:
TarkaTheOtter · 22/03/2015 19:32

That would be the very last favour I ever did for her.

PragmaticWench · 22/03/2015 19:32

Your DH is absolutely right! She must be having a brain-fart to behave so appallingly. Shocking.

The80sweregreat · 22/03/2015 19:33

She has some neck! Its always the well off ones that do this.. I hope she pays you back soon.

tomandizzymum · 22/03/2015 19:33

Shock Shock Shock

I would have said ok, so when are you going to give me my 20 back?

butterfly2015 · 22/03/2015 19:34

Reply:

The point is I paid out for your son because you had no cash and you said you'd pay me back. So regardless of the fact that he left because he didn't enjoy it is irrelevant, I'm out of pocket.

Or take her on judge rinder. That should sort the cheeky cow out.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 22/03/2015 19:34

I'd say, "Hi X, I think there's been some crossed wires. Can you please explain why I should be £20 out of pocket just because your son kicked up a fuss and did not stay for the full event?"

If she had paid, she might have been inclined to ask the organisers for a refund, but if they had declined it would be tough luck. There is NO WAY it is acceptable for her to make you out of pocket to the tune of £20!!

DartmoorDoughnut · 22/03/2015 19:35

YANBU, how rude! Your DH is right, firm is the way to go. She owes you £20 whatever she may think!

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