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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
rootypig · 25/03/2015 01:53

Dear god. My reply would be "No I'm not tight, but you are - horrendously."

imnotproud · 25/03/2015 04:18

Just text back and say, Great, didn't realise they'd agreed to refund you. When will the refund go straight back on my card?

Salene · 25/03/2015 04:37

She is what's known as one of life's freeloaders

Horrible people mooching along in life off the backs of others

Leeches

ConstanceMoan · 25/03/2015 05:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Perfectlypurple · 25/03/2015 06:52

imnotproud rtft, it has moved on.

DontWorryBeHappyNow · 25/03/2015 07:24

Did DH get a reply from her DH last night OP?

lottieandmias · 25/03/2015 07:36

What a vile woman she is.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/03/2015 07:59

She has a front bigger than Brighton sea front hasent she! I personally would text her to say that it does not matter whether her ds liked the activity or not, you still had to pay for it. I'm not tight, but you clearly are!

WhinersAreWeners · 25/03/2015 08:07

Thanks constance for your helpful contribution?!

OP posts:
DiDiddlyIDi · 25/03/2015 08:11

Ignore Constance w and w, she's well and truly in the minority with that opinion. Hope your DH got a decent response from her husband.

WhinersAreWeners · 25/03/2015 08:18

Well everyone! It's been a roller coaster! Thanks for all your suggestions and help.

It's eventually sorted (well, to a degree)

Dh text her dh last night. This is how it went.

'Hi, not sure if you're aware of situation, but basically (your wife) wants (your son) to take £20 in to school that bitch owes whiner. We're not comfortable with the boys being responsible for this- would you mond if I just got it from you at the gym instead?'

We got this text back.

'Is it convenient for me to pop round now?'

So he came round, didn't know anything about it. I explained. He asked to see the texts. I showed him. He was mortified, apologised profusely, gave us the £20 back and said she has awful form for this kind of things and it causes lots of tension with both friends and family!

I think that's the best possible outcome really!!!!

OP posts:
Discounted · 25/03/2015 08:20

Oh to be a fly on the wall next time she speaks to DH Grin

Excellent outcome

PegLegAntoine · 25/03/2015 08:20

Shock well thank goodness she has a sensible DH!

GunShotResidue · 25/03/2015 08:24

I've been lurking on here, mostly gobsmacked, and I'm so pleased it's all worked out.

Feel sorry for her DH though, he must get annoyed having to constantly be her peacekeeper.

redshoeblueshoe · 25/03/2015 08:24

Brilliant - at least her DS has one decent parent Grin

ladymariner · 25/03/2015 08:26

Wow, good outcome.....feel sorry for her dh, tbh, he must have been really embarrassed. Makes me think, when he read your dh's text, that he was expecting something of this sort to immediately offer to come round straightaway, poor sod.

Well done op, I think you have behaved with dignity through this....what a shame your ex-friend didn't.

Discounted · 25/03/2015 08:27

If DH had no idea, she had no intention of sending it to school with her DS did she?

Well done getting it all sorted though and for keeping us updated

ladymariner · 25/03/2015 08:27

Wow, good outcome.....feel sorry for her dh, tbh, he must have been really embarrassed. Makes me think, when he read your dh's text, that he was expecting something of this sort to immediately offer to come round straightaway, poor sod.

Well done op, I think you have behaved with dignity through this....what a shame your ex-friend didn't.

ladymariner · 25/03/2015 08:28

Why did that appear twice????

londonrach · 25/03/2015 08:28

Good solution but poor ex friend dh. Id love to hear what he says to her. Constance are you op ex friend?

WildFlowersAttractBees · 25/03/2015 08:30

Her poor DH.

bumbleymummy · 25/03/2015 08:30

Glad it was resolved. Her DH sounds nice at least!

Weebirdie · 25/03/2015 08:32

What an embarrassment for the husband.

And I do agree he came round because he had an idea she'd been up to her tricks again.

MythicalKings · 25/03/2015 08:34

Drinks all round! Excellent result.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/03/2015 08:42

Aww I want to hug your DH. Poor sod having to face that but he did great.

Well done on getting it sorted

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