OMG .. Jon Ronson's speaking voice ..

(552 Posts)
Twiglett Sat 20-Jan-07 16:45:38

NOT what I imagined at all

just seen a strange ad on More4 with him in it

he sounds so drippy

oh gawd I'm not going to enjoy his columns any more now, cos I'll hear the weedy crappy voice

sleepyted Sat 20-Jan-07 16:46:44

Isn't it?!

Twiglett Sat 20-Jan-07 16:47:42

he should be rustic and manly with a faint northern twang

sleepyted Sat 20-Jan-07 17:04:10

Did you really expect a manly voice Twigggg?

eemie Sat 20-Jan-07 17:43:34

weedy is exactly what I would have imagined! And whiny. Have we been reading the same column?

Pruni Sat 20-Jan-07 17:49:59

Message withdrawn

Dinosaur Sat 20-Jan-07 17:56:25

I can't bear his columns.

Is their sheer bloody pointlessness meant to be the point, or what?

He is even worse than William Leith, and he was bad.

Blandmum Sat 20-Jan-07 17:58:02

Is he the guy that did all the stuff about David Ikie and the conspiracy theories?

Dinosaur Sat 20-Jan-07 17:59:40

I don't remember him writing about David Ike, but I did stop reading the Observer for quite a few years, so I might have missed that.

And I hate Guy Browning's column, but that's mainly because I knew him at Oxford.

Lio Sat 20-Jan-07 18:21:05

ON a similar theme, anyone read Julie Burchill then heard her voice? Totally at odds with each other.

Troutpout Sat 20-Jan-07 18:27:50

You enjoy his columns Twiglett

Troutpout Sat 20-Jan-07 18:28:48

julie birchall's voice is fantastic...it's helium enduced surely

moondog Sat 20-Jan-07 18:29:20

Ronson used to be hilarious in Time Out about 12 years ago.
Yes,Burchill's voice is astounding.

tigermoth Sat 20-Jan-07 18:42:38

Ronson, Birchill, writers with bad voices (because no one will listen to them when they talk?) I see a pattern emerging.

I always remember reading something Guy Browinging wrote about him changing agents and not getting any writing work, very whinging and bitter.

giraffeski Sat 20-Jan-07 18:44:38

Message withdrawn

Twiglett Sat 20-Jan-07 18:45:19

I do .. he witters on about being a Dad and making all these decisions for his children and then he throws in his wife's comments and you think "see, now she's got brain cells"

makes me larf

seems quite real

edam Sat 20-Jan-07 18:46:33

Why on earth would Ronson have a northern accent? Pretty sure he's north London Jewish (was at uni a couple of years below him). He was jolly rude to me once so f*ck him, frankly.

Twiglett Sat 20-Jan-07 18:46:39
motherinferior Sat 20-Jan-07 18:46:54

I can get not getting any writing work at home for nothing, ffs, you don't need an agent!

Twiglett Sat 20-Jan-07 18:48:10

what?

MI, that makes no sense

Pruni Sat 20-Jan-07 18:48:20

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giraffeski Sat 20-Jan-07 18:49:38

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motherinferior Sat 20-Jan-07 18:50:08

It was a complicated and clearly failed Goodness Gracious Me ref (you can get it at home for nothing, beta!) but actually demonstrated pretty well why I don't have a national column

motherinferior Sat 20-Jan-07 18:50:38

EF was a mate of my ex's and reminds me rather uncomfortably of him.

ScummyMummy Sat 20-Jan-07 18:53:15

I've long despised Jon Ronson's burbling inanities, whether spoken or in print. I'm delighted to learn I'm not alone and that his popularity is decreasing due to his overexposure so that even previous fans such as Twiglett now have reservations. Great news.

Troutpout Sat 20-Jan-07 18:53:35

god he's bad isn't he...so boooring
mememe,iii,selfselfself...every blardy week!

Twiglett Sat 20-Jan-07 18:53:49

never watched goodness gracious me .. hence it sailed over my head

you are clearly the most talented writer I know though MI and you SHOULD have a national column .. shall we start a campaign?

Twiglett Sat 20-Jan-07 18:54:44

AND you have a lar-ver-ly speaking voice

Pruni Sat 20-Jan-07 19:06:20

Message withdrawn

Heston Fri 13-Jul-07 11:26:21

I am Jon Ronson's wife. A friend told me that my husband was the subject of a vitriolic debate on this site but, even having seen it, I can't believe he has attracted so much opprobrium. I have a suggestion for you all: just don't read his columns/features/books; don't listen to his radio programmes or watch his documentaries and you will save yourselves a few hissy fits. Don't bother responding to this post as I won't be visiting the site again.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 11:29:48

LOLOLOLOLOLOL Heston, I've just received an email from your husband along the same lines, sent to an email address that i have occasionally posted on here. is he running short of column ideas for next week by any chance?

moondog Fri 13-Jul-07 11:30:40

lol indeed

How needy!!!!!

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 11:32:29

Oh dear, I was just coming on to say that I think he's really funny and I love his column, but now I look like a creep.

Of course he's got a whiney voice Twig, he's paranoid fgs. All paranoics are quite whiney and plaintive. Goes with the territory.

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 11:34:10

Am I missing the joke aitch?

Hathor Fri 13-Jul-07 11:35:56

Ha Ha "vitriolic debate"
You should see them when they really get going.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 11:43:11

no joke. he just sent me an email to my home address.

i'm waiting to hear back what i've been accused of, the only thing i can find that i've written about him is that he's a creepy little fucker. and nothing about his behaviour so far is suggesting i've made an error of judgement...

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 11:45:15

Link thread please, when did this Ronson bashing take place?

HedTwigg Fri 13-Jul-07 11:48:08

he did do a column about searching the net for his name


<snort>

Hathor Fri 13-Jul-07 11:48:14

Q hope you have a good lawyer.

HedTwigg Fri 13-Jul-07 11:50:35

he did I knew he did

here

great quotes in it relevant to this

Is this for real?

I really like Jon Ronson but he does have quite an odd voice - reminds me of David Beckham tbh. Same with Julie Birchill, famously odd voice. I still like their writing though.

Why is he getting so upset about it? Very not Jon Ronson I think, so I'm wondering if it's really from him/his wife.

Seems to me if you want to make a living writing about the minutiae of your life, your kids, your wife, you are setting yourself up for public view. If you don't want people to know about you, react to you, think anything about you, then don't talk about yourself in public.

Are you SURE this isn't a hoax?

Sazisi Fri 13-Jul-07 11:52:26

I'd be pretty pissed off if someone called my DH a creepy fucker

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 11:52:33

LOL. Aitch, he's doing a Linda McCartney on you. lol.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 11:52:39

dunno, honestly. i've searched and can't find it. so has he, according to his email.

apparently some pal has told them that i've been nasty about him and has quoted some things i said. i think he's creepy and weird and i don't like his writing style, never have. i mourned the day he took over from Victor Lewis-Smith at Time Out. But if he's hurt by that sort of criticism he really ought to get over himself.


Oh. and i may have retold a story that he wrote about going back to Wales to confront his teenage bullies and them finding him just as irritating as ever.

And I do not give my permission for anythign i've said to be re-printed in his column. MN owns most copywrights here, or i do, so no reproduction without contacting me or MN to discuss payment i'd think. i guess he's just having a tough time with next week's column, but really...

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 11:55:45

I bet he skulks outside the windows of the cogniscenti listening to their dinner party chat to see if they mention him. Then he bursts into tears in the flower beds when someone says 'Oh god that Jon Ronson, he does go on doesn't he? The dramas of his blackberry getting soaked, who cares? I ask you.'

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 11:58:19

tut tut... i'd expect a wee email, 100x. i'd love to post it here but seeing as i'm being prissy about my copywright i suppose i should respect his.

LazyLineLegilimens Fri 13-Jul-07 12:00:22

LOL at the thought of this going the same way as GF. Imagine the court case:


"They said I had a weedy voice"




ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 12:00:44

I think this is funny.

I like him actually, he makes me laugh. Though all this carry-on isn't very good. Most odd.

HedTwigg Fri 13-Jul-07 12:01:14

oh I shouldn't larf

I still like the way he writes though ... apart from the blackberry column which was patently I've run out of material ... he's funny

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 12:03:55

Are you going to reply to the email aitch?

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:08:37

i have done, just asking for further clarification as to what i'm being accused of. he says the pal told him what i said, so tbh with the amount of times we all change our names on here it could just as easily have been someone else.

plus, i know he's a sensitive soul but there's nothing i've said that i wouldn't happily say to his face, as i recall. so tbh i think he or his friend have got it wrong, lol.

edam's the one who's met him, btw, and she thought he was awful. i wonder if she got an email?

BBBBasilisk Fri 13-Jul-07 12:09:13

yes aitch - you can tell us what you reply.

I quite like him too though 100. Not sure about his wife though...

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:09:17

has got it wrong...

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 12:14:49

Well done aitch. I know BB is a bit odd. Is like he's throwing all the punches and taking all the hits. How odd to think that you can write a weekly column detailing your life and innermost thoughts and fears, and then get all upset that someone has an opinion on you.

I think I might get an email from Victoria Beckham. God, I hope so.

BBBBasilisk Fri 13-Jul-07 12:18:20

oh yes - might write one criticising hugh-fernally-spiiting-whittingstall and see if he gets in touch...

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:20:45

see, and there i was sticking up for VB. maybe i'll get an email saying 'thanks'? poor girl though, her legs look too thin. i want to scoop her up and be her friend, and make her tell me earthy jokes in a pub. she could just sitch off the pout and pop on a puffa jacket and no one would recognise her.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 12:22:10

I KNEW he would read it

I think you are all mean

I stuck up for the poor weedy thing at the time [protector of the underdog]

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 12:25:36

<reads thread>

oh you like him too 100

where were you on the last thread? There was me saying "ah well he is very funny indeed" and about 100 people insulting him

and I KNEW he would read it

bea Fri 13-Jul-07 12:29:19

oh dear... i actually like his column in the guardian... i esp liked the one where he was having a posh dinner and he thought someone was making fun of him drinking his soup... very funny... however i now feel like otehr and am just being creepy...!

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:31:21

here it is, the offending thread. i think it's pretty balanced, tbh.

whiny

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:32:24

and pmsl that the thread title references the infinitely superior Mil Millington.

mabelmurple Fri 13-Jul-07 12:38:14

Can I just stick up for Guy Browning, who was dissed further down? He was on the radio a few weeks ago discussing men's cardigans with Jess Cartner-Morley, and he had both dh and I aching with laughter.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 12:39:48

Oh god it was the Gay Chicken thread LOL

not anything how I remembered it at all, I thought Jon Ronson was just a pulpy mess at the end of it

but he had MP mopping his wounds as well

LittleSarah Fri 13-Jul-07 12:41:09

How odd.

I know he has a strange voice - I saw him at the book festival a few years ago - (sorry Heston!) but I like his columns and shall carry on reading.

But, really, coming online to scold people for making fun of your weirdy voiced husband? Weird.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:43:01

no weirder than sending people emails to scold them in person, littlesarah...

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:46:29

exactly, franny, it was pretty evenly split. it's just that those of you who like him are so over-sensitive... a little like your pal in the paper.
please note that i even acknowledged that he was better when he gets his teeth into something.

anyway, Hester and Jon, i've not received an answer to my email. was it this thread that so offended your friend's sensibilities?

Can I repeat my boring view that this is a hoax...

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 12:53:31

hmmm, i don't think so tbh. the email address looks legit. at least insofar as it's not a hotmail account and it has his name after the @, iykwim? so if it's a hoax they'd have had to register his name in order to do it. if it is a hoax, it's a thorough one.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 12:59:20

No, it's him

the poor love

Aitch I don't think it was evenly split, not at all

I was honestly surprised at how many people expressed dislike for him

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 13:05:23

lol, and i am just as surprised at how many people do like him. i really read that thread as a more or less even split, me and NQC against you and MP.

Firepile Fri 13-Jul-07 13:06:41

Sorry, I'm with Aitch and others - he is Ok on proper conspiracy theory stuff, but the selfpitying fauxnaif whinging is really thin stuff.

And emailing mumsnetters about slagging his writing off - it's just sad, frankly.

<Zips kagoul definantly, and waits for the writ to arrive>

Firepile Fri 13-Jul-07 13:07:23

err defiantly.

mojotalking Fri 13-Jul-07 13:37:04

I say the kind of things on Mumsnet that I would say to a friend down the pub. I was out on Wednesday and said dreadful things about Tony Blair which I am sure Cherie would have been most unhappy about had she happened to be on the table next to us in the Wellington Inn, Riding Mill.

Surely some of those featured in Jon's books, articles and radio programmes must feel that they have been unfairly represented? Jon has the right to reflect life as he sees it, just as we have the right to air our views on him.

If that was a genuine mail from his wife, I do think that getting in a rage is pointless, although it's understandable that she'd want to defend her man! Her partner is in the public eye and, of course, people will form strong opinions about him. My opinion of Jon R happens to be a really good one and I really admire him. I am sure that there are people who think that MY husband is a complete plank, but the difference is that as he lacks a high-profile media career I think it's unlikely that anyone will ever bother posting about him on Mumsnet.

Mojo

edam Fri 13-Jul-07 13:42:41

He writes about his personal life - in fact he writes every tedious thought that passes through his head. So he can hardly complain that people form opinions about him. Idiot.

hana Fri 13-Jul-07 13:51:01

i've stopped reading his columns as I find them utterly pointless and awful. he is self obsessed

LittleSarah Fri 13-Jul-07 13:54:01

Yes indeed Aitch, very strange to scold you, oh dear, I fear I am going off him a little.

LittleSarah Fri 13-Jul-07 13:56:56

Actually most broadsheet columns I am beginning to find horribly tedious. Only occasionally funny and more likely to be whingy, pretentious, pompous, arrogant, bitchy, malicious, snobby, etc, etc.

I rather enjoy Giles Coren's restaurant reviews though. (She admits worriedly).

Heston Fri 13-Jul-07 14:11:42

Wow! What a response! You're right, it is weird to get upset about people making nasty, puerile comments about one's husband. I think I was just surprised that such poison would emanate from a website for mums. Although seeing how much time you all spend on this I can't believe you are mums. Are you all in institutions?

GrimoireThief Fri 13-Jul-07 14:19:59

Oh no! I'm a bit gutted. I really like his conspiracy writing and went to see him at the Edinburgh Book Festival a few years ago where he was very funny and self-deprecating.

But if he's emailing individuals to complain about them slagging him off a bit on a public forum then he's obviously a tit.

Shame on you Jon. I hope this isn't some very lazy journalistic "research" for a column.

GrimoireThief Fri 13-Jul-07 14:23:32

Hmm, Heston if I was in your position I wonder if I'd be posting the same thing? I really don't think so. I really suspect I'd be thinking what a bunch of wankers - they don't know my husband who I think is lovely, and going off to read something else.

Lots of people really like his writing and have disagreed with the people who don't. Tis the way of the world.

Heston Fri 13-Jul-07 14:23:49

Jon has neither the time nor the inclination to bother with you people. As I said, this is his wife. Believe it or not.

Firepile Fri 13-Jul-07 14:30:18

"Neither the time nor the inclination to bother" - except for directly emailing one of us to complain, that is...

Is it me, or did I read that you won't be visiting this site again, Heston? Unlike us institutionalised morons rocking in our corners, haven't you got something better to do with your time?

Heston, to be honest, you are not helping..."you people" as a description of his audience (some of us used to be fans - I was until I read this very thread actually).

I really am very surprised that JR thinks its fine to make a living mining his own insecurities and pointing up the oddities and neuroses of others - and then flies off the handle when some people say they don't like him or his work.

What about the neighbours he bitches about? Or the Paul McCartney comment which he outed himself about but was hardly sweetness and light.

Still think it's a hoax - I would have assumed he was too smart for this.

CatIsSleepy Fri 13-Jul-07 14:34:03

yes i thought i had read that too DrippingLizzie

beansontoast Fri 13-Jul-07 14:34:43

as weird as reading nasty stuff probably is...should i show some reserve when declaring how much i rate him?...

he makes me laugh...he tell a good yarn..he's just endearing enough and just annoying enough...and seems to be adored and tempered by his (good) wife!

dp rates his books too

Heston Fri 13-Jul-07 14:35:04

Jon's email was entirely polite if, in retrospect, unwise. He was upset about the irrational outpouring of bile from that Aitch person. Couldn't really understand why she would nurture a 20-year grudge. Nor can I. But I can see that there's nothing to be gained from engaging with you lot. There, that should keep you going for a few days.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 14:37:19

what on earth is going on in the ronson household today? LOLOL.

CatIsSleepy Fri 13-Jul-07 14:38:05

goodness...
I find him occasionally amusing, occasionally annoying and can't comment on his speaking voice as I have no recollection of what it is like...

sorry to hear he can't take criticism...

look forward to hearing all about this in a future column.

Enid Fri 13-Jul-07 14:41:52

I'd be upset if people slagged me off on the net. Aitch would you really have said Jon Ronson was a 'creepy little fucker' to his face

if so, grudging respect

Now can i admit I have no idea who Jon Ronson is

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 14:43:38

seriously, now. what was weird about jon's email was that:

1. he wrote it at all.
2. that he acknowledged that he hadn't actually seen what i had written about him.
3. that he wrote it at all.

and i know that you know full well that mine was not the only letter of complaint sent to Time Out regarding Jon Ronson's columns. i've never liked his writing, he's been on my radar for 20 years, so that means i haven't liked his writing for 20 years. it's hardly nursing a grudge.

plus, you had posted on here by the time i read your husband's email, so i think you should take responsibility for that action.

i think his paranoia is getting to you, tbh.

Enid Fri 13-Jul-07 14:45:07

come on kids play nicely

slag someone off - they can defend themselvse

you cant slag someone off and then crow about them being paranoid

theres only one way to settle this...

FIGHT!!!

UnquietDad Fri 13-Jul-07 14:50:07

This is all going to be in his column, isn't it?

"I say to Elaine 'Have you been posting to Mumsnet about me?'

She says to me, 'What do you mean have I been posting to Mumsnet about you?'

I was expecting her to say 'What's Mumsnet?' That's how I know she is not telling the truth.

I shout, 'Why don't you let me fight my own battles?' and storm off to my study. Immediately I feel guilty. What if she was doing it in my interests? What if she actually cares about me?'

Joel says 'Can we go and play football?'

I say 'No, we cannot go and play football. I am worrying about the people on Mumsnet who are being nasty to me.'

etc, etc...

Piece of piss, innit? That's half a column already...

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 14:50:58

being a creepy little fucker is his whole persona, but i'd be more likely to call him Jon. unless he asked me what i thought of his columns in which case i'd happily tell him that as far as i read them he's a creepy little fucker.

what is the objection? the swearing? the fact that i said he is creepy? if he was an utterly sane and solid individual he wouldn't have a column at the front of the guardian every saturday.

this is ridiculous anyway, they only wrote to me in particular because they had my email address. [yawn] well, that and the fact that he's short on material. but he's not reproducing anything i write without my permission, afaic.

foxinsocks Fri 13-Jul-07 14:52:37

oh how I miss Harry Hill

but thanks to Enid, I now have an image of Jon looking all nervous and Aitch running at him

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 14:53:39

no no enid, being paranoid is all part of the ronson thang, you see. it's What He Does. it's his schtick.

CatIsSleepy Fri 13-Jul-07 14:56:04

LOL UQD that's uncanny

UnquietDad Fri 13-Jul-07 15:00:42

Look out, I sense another lawsuit...

I still don't know why JR is upset. I'd be far more worried if I was Euan Ferguson who really writes a load of incomprehensible drivel.

Sample:

"If, for some reason, I wanted to take a vicarious interest in pubescent meanderings which somehow manage to combine the intellectual rigour of a slurry souffle with the thrummingly onanistic self-indulgence of a very old man locked in a steamy room with many forgiving mirrors and one last breathless chance, then of course I wouldn't take my adult coins down the shop and buy my adult paper, would I now? I would instead join the throng and indulge in Modern Death by reading a blog, whereby all of life flashes before your eyes, with the crucial differences that a) it's someone else's life, and b) none of its quite unforgiveable pifflingness is made retrospectively bearable by anybody - neither the blogger nor, mercifully, yourself - actually dying. Or I would go online or something wouldn't I, join myspace or something, to celebrate the social revolution that has allowed us to move on in a mere 2,000 years from Pericles's funeral oration for the fallen Athenians to 'Hi I'm horny isn't Bush a cnut.'"

Mumsnet discussion of this nonsense here

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 15:11:52

sorry, just to clear something up about the email i was sent this morning.
you may have thought it polite, Elaine, but i found it obnoxious, stalkerish and unpleasantly passive-agressive. so there you go...

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 15:15:22

lol... aggressive

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 15:22:20

I thought I'd posted on the last thread about Jon Ronson. I've certainly posted on another thread about him, saying that I like his stuff generally and think his article righting [more than the column] is excellent and very funny. [I love Mil Millington too, for different reasons obviously] The Paul Mckenna article was very funny.
But a bit gobsmacked by Heston's response here.

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 15:23:10

cant' believe i just wrote article righting. Oh god Jon, don't put that in your column, I like you , Ok?

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 15:25:32

oh and it's not a hoax, margoandjerry, the email address is the same one he mentions in the Linda McCartney piece. so this is, rather unbelievably, all for real.

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 15:29:03

shall i just mention i like his righting again? I am sleep deprived you know...

I am really shocked then.

JoolsToo Fri 13-Jul-07 16:04:37

haven't a scooby who Jon Ronson is but talking voices (!) I love Zam Baring's voice <swoon>

I've been trying to find out what he looks like but can't find a piccy

Hathor Fri 13-Jul-07 16:05:25

storm and teacup spring to mind

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 16:08:08
Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 16:08:57

oh you mean Zam Baring's voice? i too find it oddly attractive...

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 16:12:18

i find Lucy Mangan a bit irritating but I've lost all credibility now. Damn.
Who the hell is Zam Baring?

JoolsToo Fri 13-Jul-07 16:18:35

Zam is a narrator http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1135269/ notably (for me) on 'No Going Back'

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 16:19:07

oh yes, what is the point of lucy mangan? and i cheered when christa d'souza got binned from the ST style mag.

Firepile Fri 13-Jul-07 16:19:07

Now, Lucy Mangan is Very Funny Indeed. And my DP loves her.

Think that the column's much weaker than her features...

Christa d'Souza is now communicating her neurotic idiocies via the Observer Woman magazine. Doesn't make the magazine any worse than it already was tbh - probably best to keep these people all in one place, where we can keep an eye on them.

Heston Fri 13-Jul-07 16:23:33

Last word (I can see how people get drawn into this). Just to apologise for the generic references to 'you people' and 'you lot'. That was unfair. Sorry. Going now.

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 16:23:43

haven't read her Features, or haven't realised I have. or should I say Feetures.

saggermakersknockturnalley Fri 13-Jul-07 16:26:30

lol at Heston. Love it or hate it, you'll be back.....

serenity Fri 13-Jul-07 16:27:23

See! MN is addictive. You come on for one post and then you just can't leave

Heston, stay - you know you want to!

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 16:29:44

LOL Heston. come on, you'll love us in the end...

snowleopard Fri 13-Jul-07 16:29:55

I used to have a friend in London in the early 90s who sais JR was her ideal man (it definitely asn't Elaine ... my friend has now returned to the US and is with someone else).

So I've always followed him with interest thinking what could she have seen in him? The columns are beyond irritating - but to be fair it's not just JR's fault - it's that weird sunday supplement culture that thinks we don't want to read columns that engage with issues or make us think, we want to engage with someone's tiresome, inward-looking wibble - as per william leith and countless others.

This is a sexist comment but I do think the men are the worst. The female equivalent tend to be funnier.

HedTwigg Fri 13-Jul-07 16:30:20

its the 'oh bugger wish I'd said that' and the 'gotta have the last word' and the 'can't believe they just said that' that gets people hooked.

mwahahahahahaahaaa

EffiePerine Fri 13-Jul-07 16:40:12

I hate all opinion columns. Apart from Francis Wheen's sadly defunct column in the Grauniad. In fact, have decided I hate all media op types except Francis Wheen. Which might or might not make Jon R feel better

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 16:41:27

lol heston!

<waits agog to see if Jon Ronson's dad will come on next>

At least Gina sent in her lawyers.

<wonders if Aitch's Dad is bigger than Jon R's Dad>

EffiePerine Fri 13-Jul-07 16:50:10

It'll be his mum

'I think you're all being very unfair'

OK how about this for a lineup:

Aitch vs JR's mum

William Leith vs Euan Ferguson

Julie Burchill vs Lucy Mangan

And me in a full on bitchfight with Christa d'Souza, Mimi Spencer and Kathryn Flett (oh and Liz Jones for good measure but she only weighs 20kilos and is too weak to fight due to her permanent neurosis so she won't be too much trouble...)

All bare-knuckle fighting and hair-pulling.

Come along Jon they are Not Nice At All.

<snurk>

EffiePerine Fri 13-Jul-07 16:57:58

I'll take on Rebecca Tyrrell if she's 'ard enough

nice line up.

You could put Liz Jones with a "oh, is that a grey hair I see" You wouldn't be able to get in her way with a mirror in the room.

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 17:02:19

Ack, lots of journalists on the site - some really fairly famous. The vitriol does get going sometimes, but to be fair, most newspaper columns are fairly vitriolic too.

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 17:02:31

This is extremely odd!

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 17:02:48

Now Liz Jones' husband. He is annoying. He doesn't have a column in the Weekend yet does he?

isn't he an ex-husband? Now he has loafed around in her flat writing his book?

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 17:05:45

i don't know. He wrote a toe curling account of his manly prowess in bed and how it convinced her to be an obedient wife, despite his infidelities. Yaaawwwn.

hoxtonchick Fri 13-Jul-07 17:07:01

ewwwwwwww ruty (link?) .

DadofAitch Fri 13-Jul-07 17:21:44

<looms in threatening manner>

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 17:28:40

bugger can't find it. But it's true! Hello Mr Aitch's Dad. [cowers in shadow]

DadofAitch Fri 13-Jul-07 17:30:28

<Peers to see Ruty so far down>

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 17:32:42

Here it is . but probably divorced since then thank god. Look at the 'Who's the boss?' whilst having sex. '' 'you are', she breathed...''
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=398998&in_page_id=1879

mysteryposter Fri 13-Jul-07 17:44:48

Changed my name to give you this alert:

http://talk.guardian.co.uk/WebX/.775eb56d/7?14@260.XDD8cbfC2FV@


teehee

mysteryposter Fri 13-Jul-07 17:46:19

oh dear god Ruty i was just sick in my mouth.

mozhe Fri 13-Jul-07 17:53:04

Love, love, love Jon Ronson....Mrs J R very lucky imo.....you lot are horrid
Nirpal Dharliwal on the other hand is the subject of many of my violent fantasies....just don't get me started on him.......

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 18:04:38

LOLOL at all this but I DO feel sorry for JR - he hasn't done anything EVIL or WRONG (except for annoying Aitch for 20 years of course)

I know you all think you would just laugh it off, but I have read nasty unfair stuff about me on the internet and it really is unpleasant and makes you want to do irrational things. In my case I got over it, but then I haven't made a career out of being paranoid and angsty.

mozhe Fri 13-Jul-07 18:08:31

No, he is gorgeous......how can he annoy anyone ?
I was thinking about writting to him and offering favourable rates on therapy...but thought that might be a bit unprofessional iyswim....

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 18:09:53

I like Mrs Ronson! The bit of her post 'are you all in institutions?' has been making me giggle a lot, and taking my mind off the horror that is having a spray tan (I am worryingly orange, and amusing dh a lot).
I vote for her to stay in the vipers' nest.
(shhh....I like Mr Ronson too...I have a soft spot for whiney neurotic introspection)

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 18:10:28

And I'm 100% with Mohze on Noxious Nirpal. You take his head, I'll take his feet!

have no idea who Jon Ronson is. Mrs Ronson funny. Unless of course it is actually Mr Ronson in a wig in which case I hope she has words with him.

Not quite as Dignified as Linda McCartneys response though was it, really.

lapsedrunner Fri 13-Jul-07 18:18:48

Who is he???

ProfYaffle Fri 13-Jul-07 18:20:55

Could someone precis the McCartney thing? I did start to read it in the Guardian but was engulfed in ennui after the first few paras.

CatIsSleepy Fri 13-Jul-07 18:23:27

am hoping mrsR will be back

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 18:24:00

Yes Mrs Ronson should stay

My god we would never hear the end of it though

"Elaine is busy on Mumsnet again.

'Are you talking about me?' I shout angstily."

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 18:25:22

Can I just say I once wrote something for The Times and someone wrote something really, really rude about me in the 'comments' section, and had he put his address, I would have been sorely tempted to go round and burn his house down - after eviscerating him with a can opener.
Just thought I'd mention that.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 18:32:09

Yes you don't just say "oh dear oh well"

you feel really livid and gutted

I've only skimmed this but just wanted to say that a couple of times I've exhibited as an artist I've had the most derogatory remarks made and published and it's been simply dreadful. It's so humiliating and leaves you feeling utterly powerless. Critics are brutal to artists.

Sorry. Not relevant to a discussion of JR. he's never said anything either way about my work.

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 18:43:10

Hmm, is different when it's your dh though. I've read horrible things about my dh's work and it does make you spit tacks on their behalf. I've never actually emailed anyone about it though.

LOL at Franny's Saturday column.

Who are these women? Why do they like my wife more than me? Why are they trying to get Elaine to stay? Will they turn her against me?

saggermakersknockturnalley Fri 13-Jul-07 18:43:44

Cripes, you lot will be sympathising with SWMNBN next lol.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 18:46:33

Now that is ENTIRELY different

comparing JR to SWMNBN is really going TOO far with the abuse

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 18:46:48

Sorry about that ProjectSeverus, i did warn you..
I thought that bit 'aren't you all in institutions' was quite funny too. Mrs R should definitely stay. And that's the thing Aloha, I like whiney neurotic introspection too. [See my thread on 'has my DH i given my DS botulism' today.]

[BTW has Aitch's Dad gone yet?]

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 18:49:30

I've spent ages trying to work it out. So far I've got as far as South Western Mining and Neuroscience Board of Ninnies.
Can it possibly be this?

I'm so sorry I missed the original thread. I'd have so stuck up for him too F&Z.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 18:51:17

She Who Must Not Be Named

eg, a certain litiginous baby guru

Tatties Fri 13-Jul-07 18:51:30

Dp LOVES JR. And I loved the YouTube piece a while back

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 18:51:43

oh god

LITIGIOUS

<boils head>

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 18:51:58

Ah yes, thank you <thick emoticon>

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 18:52:33

Litiginous is a great word though, but probably highly litigious.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 18:53:39

ruddy nora it is a real word and means

litigious

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 18:54:01

At least you didn't say article righting FZ.

foxinsocks Fri 13-Jul-07 18:58:42

lol that is so true

a blogger had a right go at my dh quite recently - in the comments section, people (posting comments anonymously) decided to have a go at me (as his wife) and I was bloody apoplectic with rage. Dh had to virtually restrain me from logging on and commenting (which is, of course, just about the worst thing you can do).

Live and learn, I guess.

Heston, stay. Gwan. You know you want to.

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 19:12:26

So, so funny that so many of us have had similar experience.

mozhe Fri 13-Jul-07 19:41:33

People are always having a go at me in RL...I have unusual views for my profession, once a 'colleague',( but I know who they are.....), reported me to GMC !! Of course it takes them 100 years to do anything,( I was cleared eventually btw...) about anything and whilst it was all pending I was on 'gardening leave'....many an afternoon was spent planning said colleagues, horrible, slow ,painful, demise......{grin]
A few years later I had the pleasure of interviewing them,( as part of a panel...), it was soooo sweet seeing his face as he entered the room....aI had a very nice smile on my face....
Life is sweet sometimes...
That Nirpal bloke though...

foxinsocks Fri 13-Jul-07 19:49:19

I was really annoyed when Nirpal got a column in the Evening Standard and then proceeded to fill it with err nothing.

I so miss Matthew Norman in there. I LOVED his stuff.

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 19:51:23

Nirpal is rubbish. We might get an email from him if we keep this up.

I still like Barbara Ellen best. Can't help it, is a long-standing relationship.

mozhe Fri 13-Jul-07 19:56:14

So it's official then...Nirpal is pants....moaning and drivelling on about his boring relationships ad infinitum...

scampadoodle Fri 13-Jul-07 20:03:15

I used to go out with William Leith...

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 20:08:00

That could just be the best thread killer line ever

scampadoodle Fri 13-Jul-07 20:09:55

Stone dead...Think I could get 500 words out of it?

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 20:12:11

Look Mohze, I have come to see your other qualities, but can I say that I am not completely surprised you have trouble with some RL colleagues? (many people would say the same about me, I'm sure)
I cannnot agree with you more about the hideous Nirpal - 'girls just can't get enough of me. The losers' - No Talent.
He is so transparently ploughing a controversialist furrow that even he doesn't really believe in because it pays. I think I am even more depressed that fake misogyny pays so well.

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 20:12:54

Scampadoodle... I think you could probably get a book deal out of, not to mention the film deal...

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 20:16:32

lol, I want a share of the subsidiary rights scampa, I pointed out its potential.

TheDuchessDeMimsyNorkington Fri 13-Jul-07 20:25:33

If I posted on all the websites and emailed all the people that insult my husband I'd have no time to Mumsnet. Er, or do any er, parenting-thing, you know with children <looks vague, wanders off>

southeastastra Fri 13-Jul-07 20:35:57

did anyone hear the interview with nirpal on the vanessa show? he was such a plank and just ranted over the callers it was cringey. vanessa had to turn him off in the end.

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 20:37:51

Oooh, Duchess...that is too intriguing. Go on give us a clue...what line of work?

willow Fri 13-Jul-07 20:45:12

I fucking love JR - makes me giggle like a loon. (Am not in institution btw, Heston.) Don't care if he's self-obsessed. He's writing a column about his life, ffs. He's got to mention himself, hasn't he?

But as for that Nirpal chap. God almighty, how I cannot abide him - to the point where I was deeply saddened by his divorce as I felt that he and Liz truly deserved each other. Odious.

willow Fri 13-Jul-07 20:45:59

So, Camilla PB finally makes her Mumsnet debut. Good evening, mam.

mozhe Fri 13-Jul-07 21:08:36

Aloha....100% agreemnet re:Nirpal....am getting het up just thinking about him...my,( slighty weird I admit..), fantasy is that he will be referred to me as a patient.....( unlikely..buy hey a girl can dream...)
Am ALWAYS surprised when RL and MN folk take against me....see myself as the eminent voice of reason...
Has ANYONE had a 27 weeker,( as in baby...!!), and do they all sleep this much ?
Tristan now on hourly foot tickling programme to wake him up a bit

UnquietDad Fri 13-Jul-07 21:12:15

God, that Nirpal twonk... I'd managed to excise him from my conscious mind until just now. I can't believe men like him exist.

willow Fri 13-Jul-07 21:29:33

vile - do you think he's given all those column inches because he's such a twonk?

UnquietDad Fri 13-Jul-07 21:30:10

Oh, indubitably.

Pruners Fri 13-Jul-07 21:33:31

Message withdrawn

TheDuchessDeMimsyNorkington Fri 13-Jul-07 21:37:38

Aloha - DH is in IT <apologises for let-down>. He gets equal amounts of worship and abuse from all around the world.

If it's a really good insult, I tend to borrow it

My dp has never had a single bad review, not one. I sometimes wonder what he'd do if he got slated. He expects it every time but it never happens.

Nirpal. Grrrr ....... Now that's embarrassing.

Pruners Fri 13-Jul-07 21:46:27

Message withdrawn

sophable Fri 13-Jul-07 21:47:30

it is not what you expect at all is it? that's for twig's original post btw.

Pruners Fri 13-Jul-07 21:49:45

Message withdrawn

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 21:50:16

exactly, pruni... <shrugs some more>

didn't you get an email, by the way? and you lot talking about nirpal, you'd better expect emails in the morning too. apparently you're not allowed to express an unfavourable opinion about someone's writing any more.

<goes off to find AitchsDad to remind him that he died over a decade ago>

Pruners Fri 13-Jul-07 21:54:15

Message withdrawn

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 22:12:21

aw Aitch sorry.

I got a horrible review in the Evening Standard once. I was gutted. All the others were spectacular, obviously.

sorry Aitch

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:16:46

LOL, i do wish Elaine/Hester would come back and admit that the only reason i've been singled out is that he snuck around MN trying to find an email address and came up with mine. it's hardly like i'm the only person on these threads who isn't a Ronson fan.

and then i wish Elaine/Hester would stay on MN because she seemed quite funny. although she'd have to avert her eyes from any threads about her husband's columns. as will mrs euan ferguson/mr christa d'souza/mr lucy mangan/mrs barefoot doctor... basically everyone apart from Peter Paphides, husband of the sainted Caitlin Moran. he should hang around here A Lot.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:18:46

sorry about my dad dying? oh no, don't fret about it. it was a long time ago, i loved him, he loved us, we were lucky to have him etc etc. he'd have been right up for a bit of internet waggery, don't worry.

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 22:20:15

Aitch the things you said probably stung more because they were funnier

Btw I can't get used to your HP name. It's v clever and all, but when I am skimming a thread, it doesn't look like you, IYKWIM

scampadoodle Fri 13-Jul-07 22:21:35

After temporarily killing the thread I went off to have me tea...
I feel really sorry for Liz Jones as she obviously has a lot of very personal ishoos (did anyone see her piece in Obs Woman about how she feels about her body?) & probably the very WORST kind of man she could hook up with is a vampire like Nirpal. Still, I could do without her (& him) regaling us with the details every 5 minutes.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:32:13

was it you who went out with William Leith, scamp? him i like. i haven't read him in ages but i used to pmsl at him in the Indie on Sunday a hundred years ago. oh and Stuart Lee, i LOVED his old columns.
so, what's he like as a boyfriend? WL i mean.

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 22:34:49

you mean did he have a big wanger? [note to self - be more intellectual.]

ProfYaffle Fri 13-Jul-07 22:35:55

Has anyone been keeping up with the Guardian forum discussion about this?

"I've just read some of the thread and picked up the gist, but it was virtually unreadable.

Those posters on mumsnet are barely literate. It began to hurt my eyes after a while. Why can't they post in English?"

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 22:36:34

Didn't William Leith disappear for a bit, only to make a recent appearance talking about his battle with weight ishoos?

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 22:36:50

they mean me

just because I said litiginous

it's a WORD, ok?

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 22:37:28

LOL. That's rather rude I think. Let's go over there and talk in text.

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 22:38:11

Eeek,email from the dreaded Nirpal....what a truly horrible thought. Don't think I will, as I am not trawling for loser boyfriends on the internet.
No experience of 27 week old babies, sorry. But I have to say my 37 week old was remarkably sluggish. I think 27 week olds must really need to sleep. I think both of mine slept a lot inside me at that age - just woke up with a vengeance at the first scent of air and maternal sleepiness.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:38:20

<pouts>

<not speaking to Frank because she thinks JR has done nothing wrong>

<changes mind when she sees Frank has written that she's funny>

you seriously think that emailing a reader to accuse them of saying bad things about you when you haven't actually read them isn't wrong? i had to read decades of his twerpish columns in order to form my opinion of him.

HedTwigg Fri 13-Jul-07 22:38:21

link, link

ROFL

UnquietDad Fri 13-Jul-07 22:39:53

I look forward to an email barney with tosser Nirpal.

ProfYaffle Fri 13-Jul-07 22:39:59

Guardian forum:

here

FirenzeandZooey Fri 13-Jul-07 22:40:46

LOL he didn't get where he is today by being rational or reasonable Aitch

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:42:55

precisely my point, franny. bring back julie burchill, i say, she has a lovely speaking voice and is properly hilarious and bonkers.

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 22:44:45

but I luv his righting ok so like, whateva.

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 22:46:06

They called us FRUIT LOOPS, did you read that? Fruit Loops.I think we should declare war.
I must say it is very very boring over there isn't it?

Pruners Fri 13-Jul-07 22:48:15

Message withdrawn

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 22:48:43

Oh yes. But, surely we'll have to wait a week or so?

HedTwigg Fri 13-Jul-07 22:49:04

only to see if he plagiarised UnquietDad

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:50:44

pmsl at the 'they just want to be published' theory, eh 100x? cos none of us are professional writers, you see... oh no.
it's the old 'your just jelouse off Jade/Victoria/Jordan she a great mum and luv her kids' re-written for us Guardian-reading types.

willow Fri 13-Jul-07 22:51:12

It won't be about this - that will have been put to bed days ago.

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 22:52:20

Quite. Is there an on-going email correspondence aitch? Have they answered yours yet? <squirming with excitement>

ruty Fri 13-Jul-07 22:52:34

God i meant woteva. Sorry.

ProfYaffle Fri 13-Jul-07 22:52:52

'Green ink brigade' is what they said, longing for a fight but they all seem to have gone to bed

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:53:11

next issue maybe, the colour supplements normally go off early in the week.

Hathor Fri 13-Jul-07 22:53:19

Who is Jon Ronson?

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 22:58:10

no he hasn't, 100x. i'm surprised.

it seemed such an odd thing to do for starters, because he told me he didn't know what i'd said, but now that i've actually found the thread and posted it on here he should at least respond to my email asking him for clarification as to my 'offences'. because i really, really don't think i said anything dreadful. i mean, really...

who knows, perhaps he'll ask me if i've got Pruni's, NQC's, edam's and everyone else's email addresses as well?

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 22:59:01

Aitch, are you planning to sell them to him for money?

Oh god, I should be packing!

BBBBasilisk Fri 13-Jul-07 23:00:01

seems that you cannot criticise anyone without calls of 'jealous' being shouted at you. Have been accused of being jealous of Victoria Beckham toady - how insulting is that!

Also JR has some security issues - loved 100x (I think) post about him hanging outside windows at dinner parties and leaping in if they slag him off.

JR - use that in your column.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 23:04:14

oh yes, aloha. i never write anything down without expecting to be paid for it at some point. (well, apart from countless MN posts, obv.) go and pack.

Pruners Fri 13-Jul-07 23:05:46

Message withdrawn

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 23:06:12

Thank you BB, actually I said he would burst into tears in the flowe bed NOT leap in at all. <prissy and exacting emoticon>

Hmm. Perhaps he won't then, perhaps the whole thing has made him a bit shivery and sick-feeling. It would be.

aloha - where are you going? With the packing and all?

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 23:07:34

oh fgs, can't type, have cold. It would ME and another error above. Why am I bothering to correct them even? Sneeze.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 23:12:04

i blooming well complimented him on that thread as well. for the last time, i might add.

i don't mind having a discussion with someone if i've hurt their feelings and i absolutely do not mind apologising if i've done something wrong but it's just silly bollocks for him to have written to me without actually having seen the thread in question.
plus i do think that given that i've been reading that paper and others he's written for and therefore contributing to paying his mortgage for the last 20 years, he should think about acting like a grown-up rather than behaving in a manner that confirms every negative thing i thought about him.

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 23:13:25

Could have been Elaine you know? In a fit of pique because she's SICK TO DEATH of JR shutting himself in the bathroom and crying like a baby every time he reads something horrid about himself?

aloha Fri 13-Jul-07 23:13:28

Majorca, with sunshine (please god) a swimming pool and four children. BLISS!
Love you all, will put this thread on watch!

ahundredtimes Fri 13-Jul-07 23:14:44

Hurrah for aloha. Have a ball. It'll be hot and sunny, and we'll be sitting in the pissy rain still talking about Jon Ronson.

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 23:20:57

we just got called boring turds on the guardian web page, lol. i love the internet. <goes off to stalk Irlgalmatlan of the Guardian with intention of sending pouty email>

Quiddaitch Fri 13-Jul-07 23:21:21

oooh yes, aloha, have a great time.

BBBBasilisk Fri 13-Jul-07 23:22:07

oh yes - he is much more likely to cry in the flower beds than jump in the window - maybe he gets his wife to jump in the window..

ahundredtimeturners Fri 13-Jul-07 23:32:18

lolololol you got it BB. She jumps in and tells them off, and they love her and invite her sit down and tell them funny stories, and he sulks all the more, out there with the damp in his trainers and that itchy plant getting in his hair.

GrimoireThief Sat 14-Jul-07 00:25:06

I'm surprised Big Cook and Little Cook's partners haven't been on tonight. They're getting far more of a pasting. 'Specially Big Cook and his cold, dead eyes <shudder>

mozhe Sat 14-Jul-07 00:29:44

Packing is VASTLY overated.....5 mins before you leave get bin liner out from under sink.....rush madly around house chucking any old thing in......at airport have a good sort through of all the junk, ditch the rubbish and top up your luggage from lovely airport shops.....+ buy nice new,( pref bright pink...so you can see it going round and round at the other end...and don't pick up german s&m's case by mistake...IT happened to DH..),suitcase too.
Obviously you will have great excuse for lots of holiday shopping at destination too...
Get nanny,( or similar in nanny-less households...), to do sensible packing for DCs.
This is 'packing a la mozhe'....never fails,.
Enjoy !!

Quiddaitch Sat 14-Jul-07 00:35:35

i don't have a nanny, mozhe... who do i ask to be my 'or similar'? how's wee tristan doing?

TheDuchessDeMimsyNorkington Sat 14-Jul-07 01:02:44

This thread is hurting my eyes. You're all illitt, iliterrat, none of you can spell or do proper grammer. You no-name loons.

<Duchess makes note to become sneery Guardian reader and join their serious online forum>

MrsJohnCusack Sat 14-Jul-07 07:03:44

oh this thread is SO funny
thank you everyone, you've cheered me right up

FirenzeandZooey Sat 14-Jul-07 07:37:58

They also called us "boring turds" and "no-name loons"

hold on, I have a great idea. Let's EMAIL them and tell them how upset we are. No no, scratch that, let's email someone who hasn't actually read the thread, tell them vaguely what happened, and then get THEM to email the people and tell them we are very cross.

foxinsocks Sat 14-Jul-07 08:57:38

rofl at no-name turds

not that their posts are a load of superior, faux intellectual twaddle

no sireeeeeeeeeee

foxinsocks Sat 14-Jul-07 08:59:27

sorry, boring turds, no-name loons

(so thick, I can't even quote their posts accurately)

policywonk Sat 14-Jul-07 08:59:58

I was tempted to go on there and post in defence of MN, but lord that forum is dullsville. And I love the Grauniad.

Marina Sat 14-Jul-07 09:04:56

Grimoire, you think either of them have significant others ?

bossykate Sat 14-Jul-07 09:06:49

<<<psst, marina, i have just looked at the weather forecase for tomorrow - unpleasant reading will call you later>>>

sorry for hijack.

jon who?

ruty Sat 14-Jul-07 09:54:22

This turd has a name, thanks very much.

ruty Sat 14-Jul-07 09:55:07

Have a great holiday Aloha!

Quiddaitch Sat 14-Jul-07 11:24:20

although i do agree with that pompous journo guy on the Zoe Williams front, tbh. until yesterday i'd actualy have said i loathe her more than Ronson.

CatIsSleepy Sat 14-Jul-07 12:07:00

no-name loons eh?

as opposed to the loons with names that populate the Comment message boards of the grauniad...

<<fight!
fight!>>

mozhe Sat 14-Jul-07 18:56:19

NO nanny eh ? Then get DH to do it, or failing that give DCs carrier bags and adopt the same approach as for your packing,( though probably night before rather than 5 mins before departure...), then give them a lovely time at airport....
It will be great fun for them....and none of that angsty organised packing that,( imo ), ruins holidays.....Enjoy !

BBBBasilisk Sat 14-Jul-07 20:40:54

I laughed at his column today - am I a laughing turd?

ruty Sat 14-Jul-07 20:44:08

I' m now a bit scared of Elaine since reading about her confronting the old owners of their house with the steel joists thing.

ruty Sat 14-Jul-07 20:44:49

Obviously the guardian comment posters won't be able to understand my syntax order....

ruty Sat 14-Jul-07 21:04:28

I should've just said syntax, shouldn't I? Oh god. I am a quivering grammatical wreck just thinking about those guardian comment intellectuals...

yoyo Sat 14-Jul-07 21:17:37

He referred to his "friend Caitlin" today. Surely not?

policywonk Sat 14-Jul-07 21:25:09

roffling at 'laughing turd'. Please, someone register on the Guardian talk pages with that name. We are a regiment of laughing turds!

ruty Sat 14-Jul-07 22:03:33

i noticed that yoyo...

Quiddaitch Sat 14-Jul-07 23:19:05

lol, i wonder if it was St Caitin of Moran who told him, then?

Pruners Sun 15-Jul-07 09:00:47

Message withdrawn

Oenophile Sun 15-Jul-07 09:32:02

Wish Elaine would come back, I saw faint indications of a great potential MNetter beginning to emerge.

Now I have to say this thread has shocked me, I always laughed at Jon's columns (the soup-eating one was a classic) but that was when I assumed they were ironic, tongue-in-cheek vignettes pointing fun at all of our little insecurities and paranoias by showcasing his own and inviting us to laugh/feel solidarity. If I have to assume it was all SERIOUS and I was hoodwinked and he is really a twonk who would actually take offence like this - well, my world just rocked on its axis. Another hero bites the dust, damn!

JonRonseal Sun 15-Jul-07 09:47:41

Hi Ladies, I've decided to "go with the flow" on this one.

Pruners Sun 15-Jul-07 09:53:26

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Pruners Sun 15-Jul-07 09:53:47

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Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 10:07:44

exactly oenophile, i've always assumed that it was a persona and that he couldn't possibly be such a phenomenal prat in RL so i have felt completely at liberty to detest the Whinging Twerp persona for decades now.
i'm rather stunned to find out that he really is that Jon Ronson person, the adenoidal, socially awkward, repressed and paranoid moron that he writes about every week.
i wish elaine would come back, though, she seemed fun. <wistfully>
dare i go on the jonronson forum? does he really say things like 'this week's is the funniest ever'? clearly his ego knows no bounds.

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 10:08:32

unless that really is you, jonronseal, in which case hello and welcome to MN.

ruty Sun 15-Jul-07 10:20:06

JonRonseal, is that really you? Get Elaine to come back!

JonRonseal Sun 15-Jul-07 11:05:48

Hi,

No, its not really Jon Ronson. Thought I ought to make that clear in case he gets cross. Am new to mumsnet and thought that when I name changed my public profile as 'mother of two' would still be visible, suggesting my not being jon ronson.
What gets me about his (fairly funny on the whole) columns is the 'to be continued' which means that a third of the next weeks column is a reprise of the last column. Money for old rope or what?

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 12:09:31

don't change it, it's a good name. welcome to MN.

mozhe Sun 15-Jul-07 12:52:06

I'm trying to get an invite to meet Jon in the autumn,( it will necessitate coming over to UK...see how devoted I am...)....will let you know...
Am more than willing to hand over little posy of flowers on behalf of MN..? If you lot think this is appropriate..

ruty Sun 15-Jul-07 12:53:10

PMSL at posy of flowers....

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 12:54:37

i bet he's allergic.

ahundredtimeturners Sun 15-Jul-07 12:57:10

He'll be moved for a moment, and well up, then he'll start to pick at the petals, he'll wonder if you're taking the piss, he'll be cross that he was moved, he'll start to pull more petals off, wondering at your motives.

Will be good, do it mozhe.

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 13:06:35

yeah, do it mozhe, he'll manage to spin a whiny two-parter out of it i'm sure.

why have they sent me these flowers? do they really like my writing? are they laughing at me? why didn't i post on NetMums, like Elaine sensibly suggested? Is Joel more popular on Bebo than i am? i need hugz...

<goes off to bask in adoring glow of own forum> i think this might be my funniest column ever!

to be continued ad nauseam.

JonRonseal Sun 15-Jul-07 15:08:59

Thanks Quiddaitch.

mozhe Sun 15-Jul-07 15:12:40

Ooooh, I don't want to cause him any MORE psychological problems.....

ahundredtimeturners Sun 15-Jul-07 15:16:08

and you just thought you'd buy him a bunch of flowers, and LOOK what you did mozhe. lol.

BBBBasilisk Sun 15-Jul-07 17:18:25

give him a tuppleware box containting a boring turd and ask if he can guess who it is from.

FluffyMummy123 Sun 15-Jul-07 18:37:50

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BBBBasilisk Sun 15-Jul-07 19:04:27

his wife came on and told us off:

see: By Heston on Fri 13-Jul-07 11:26:21

Have just read Saturday's article (yes, running late this weekend). I am confused. It is funny. It is self-aware. I liked it. I cannot compute this with someone who gets in a lather about MN...

(I also cannot bear to say Vente in Starbucks and have to restrain myself from hitting people who say "Can I get..." instead of "Can I have..." - I imagine they think they are appearing in an episode of Friends rather than popping into the Starbucks on the Finchley Road on the way to Homebase).

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 21:44:03

it is him, margoandjerry. <strokes mandj's hair> it is his wife. it is not a hoax.

southeastastra Sun 15-Jul-07 21:46:06

jon ronson isn't that special though is he? he hasn't done anything that could warrant a column, like maybe being something before (be a musician or something)

there seems to be so many 'social commentaries' these days that don't add anything just want to sit on the sidelines and pontificate

Thanks for sympathy, Q. And you don't even like him!

Am sorely troubled.

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 21:50:06

ah you see i'd argue that point. it rather pisses me off to see beth ditto and alex kapranos given columns in the national press just because the can carry a tune. however i fear it is the way of the future.

southeastastra Sun 15-Jul-07 21:50:57

i'm winding myself up about it now, but why do so many people like to sit there and pick holes so much. oh i will make my career just socially pontificanting on so and so.

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 21:58:04

you are welcome, margoandjerry. i'm troubled too, tbh. his email was unpleasant in the extreme. my friend (v sensible woman not given to harshness and A Fan of JR) saw it and said 'who the FUCK does that little prick think he is?'

i imagine he's prone to nosebleeds and acting strangely, but am offended that having provided him with what i actually wrote in context (rather than what his chum told him) he hasn't had the manners to respond.

southeastastra Sun 15-Jul-07 21:58:46

oh i have no real talent but i will sit on the sidelines and whine about this and that

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 21:59:41

sorry, A Former Fan i should say...

Oh, let's also add to the list all the children of famous people and journalists who mysteriously get columns in national newspapers. Yes, you Corens, I'm talking about you.

EffiePerine Sun 15-Jul-07 22:05:00

Don't get me started on the Corens

<grinds teeth>

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 22:05:58

oh i was so JEALOUS when i was a teenager hearing victoria coren on loose ends with ned sherrin. i think those corens are okay in print though. although giles not good on tv. too gulpy.

HedTwigg Sun 15-Jul-07 22:06:42

teeth grinding at 'can I get' .. yes

but my teeth would also grind at 'can I have'

it's 'May I have...'


arrrgghhhh

<out pedanting myself tonight>

EffiePerine Sun 15-Jul-07 22:07:56

But they are so pointless

and that Victoria Coren has a smug face

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 22:07:56

oh and the linklaters and massies and the rifkinds... (scottish journalism references)

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 22:08:47

and the fucking douglas-homes.

EffiePerine Sun 15-Jul-07 22:09:16

Is muttering 'Coffee. Large' OK then?

HedTwigg Sun 15-Jul-07 22:10:46

oh yes, that's fine .. particularly when growled in a distracted or imperious manner

they are after all serving staff

FluffyMummy123 Sun 15-Jul-07 22:11:24

Message withdrawn

Fair 'nuff HedTwigg. "May I have.." forthwith.

Not a fan of Giles Coren - particularly because of his nonsensical ranting about fat people "who should take responsibility for themselves"...like him and his career I guess.

I exempt Louis Theroux from this general disdain, because I love him. And also because Paul Theroux's books are among the most unpleasant and boring I have ever come across so I can't believe that connection did him that many favours.

EffiePerine Sun 15-Jul-07 22:12:01

On the other hand, Rebecca Tyrrel no longer has that column in the Torygraph <brightens>

FluffyMummy123 Sun 15-Jul-07 22:12:26

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FluffyMummy123 Sun 15-Jul-07 22:12:46

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EffiePerine Sun 15-Jul-07 22:13:43

I'll stick to barking then

southeastastra Sun 15-Jul-07 22:13:53

does he make a living out of this?

EffiePerine Sun 15-Jul-07 22:14:23

Sadly nothing as useful

GrimoireThief Sun 15-Jul-07 22:15:03

God yes. Colette D-H. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Stop. Just stop.

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 22:16:43

i think she might be evil, bookthief. no joke. <awaits email>

Sobernow Sun 15-Jul-07 22:17:53

The Dimbleby's, Michael Grade, Shirley Williams, Vanessa Redgrave.....jumped up, talentless nepotism junkies, the lot of them.

southeastastra Sun 15-Jul-07 22:20:00

lew grade

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 22:20:47

louis theroux's brother is a dish and made a rather good doc about Russia. i too exempt the therouxs from any further discussion.

you know hester/elaine is a journo too, don't you, indeed she was working at Time Out when i and a thousand others wrote to complain about the departure of Victor Lewis-Smith. later the Metro.
don't know where she's working now. probably the daily mail. <attempts to flush hester/elaine out and back onto MN to deny furiously>

ruty Sun 15-Jul-07 22:27:38

I find Louis Theroux snide and bullying.

But Shirley Williams is great! [and also an old school friend of my mum's - my mum is OLD.]

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 22:31:19

i think he's been through stages, tbh, but he's coming back around.

lol at shirley williams, her mum was a pal of my gran's. she is exempt.

mozhe Sun 15-Jul-07 23:34:50

Sidelines and pontificating must be easy place to earn a crust.......
Not like psychiatric out-patients I imagine....
Where is Anna ? has she turned up again ? Or still in a huff....
I want her help with getting DSs into Lycee in NY.......Has anyone seen her ?

Quiddaitch Sun 15-Jul-07 23:39:50

haven't seen her. i see you're doing your best to start a WOHM vs SAHM debate on the other journalism thread, perhaps that will prove tempting? thing is, no-one's biting cos of tristan. that cute kid's ruining your hard-nosed rep, man...
how's he doing, is he getting bigger by the day? i do hope so. have you been holding him yet?

mozhe Sun 15-Jul-07 23:55:24

Not I Quiddaitch !!....start a WOHMvs.SAHM........but you've got to agree if she was going to work she wouldn't be so pissed off.....I am looking forward to monday !! Tristan is doing well...but slowly...we tickle his feet to wake him up now...he is officially a baby who sleeps too much

mozhe Sun 15-Jul-07 23:58:18

No holding yet...but soon.
He is 767grms this am....he has to get back to his birthweight soon,( 775 ), or he is on 'special measures'.....
Poor boy...he sounds like dodgy comprehensive school...

Quiddaitch Mon 16-Jul-07 00:05:02

roll on the day you get to smell the back of his neck, mozhe. <wistfully> ooooh, the aroma of fresh baby...

oooh stroked a 5 week old baby today. luuuuvely.

My dd2 is suddenly massive.
<am not having Any More, I am NOT>

Quiddaitch Mon 16-Jul-07 00:15:18

there's a new baby due in our family soon, i just know that dd is going to seem like a monster by comparison.

oh yeah, We have one coming too my brother's wife is exoecting in October. Dd2 will be over one and Enormous.

Still a wee cuddle at a teeny one will be nice.

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 12:07:20

Is Jon Ronson married to Heston Blumenthal?

morningpaper Mon 16-Jul-07 12:43:06

Have just found this

HAHAHAHA

is v. funny

will never go on holiday again in case I miss exciting scandals or the opportunity to defend the very lovely Jon Ronson, you bad women

I wish his missus would stay, she sounds FABULOUS

(admittedly his speaking voice is a bit startling, like Julie Burchill who sounds like a hamster that's been blessed with the gift of tongues)

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 12:44:59

you're weird, mp

morningpaper Mon 16-Jul-07 12:47:05

have just re-read original Thread In Question

hahahah it is really funny

Franny was VERY funny

hehehe must attend to children

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 12:56:12

I wish dp agreed with you MP

I forgot the thread deteriorated into a critique of mine, NQC's and Greeny's spouses and showed it to him

he keeps muttering "bloody niche market"

morningpaper Mon 16-Jul-07 12:57:26

lol Franny you DOOFUS

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 13:00:01

I also forgot quite how much I went on about NQC's dh until stopping dp from reading the thread would have looked worse than letting him carry on

He looked unconvinced when I asked "you do know this is COMEDY leering, don't you?"

morningpaper Mon 16-Jul-07 13:02:47

I can't BELIEVE you didn't read it first VERY CAREFULLY

We are not very nice about our DH's on there

I would prefer a slightly different thread for the next Mumsnet Scandal

Also it would be great if the next Mumsnet Scandal didn't involve MY threads at all, TBH....

There are some VERY funny lines on there

And Franny's frequent use of has perfect comedy timing

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 13:10:25

MP you are about the only person on here (other than me) who thinks my posts are very funny

you are also about the only person on here (apart from me) who thinks Jon Ronson is very funny

I am going off to a quiet corner to think about this for some time

LittleLupin Mon 16-Jul-07 13:17:17

Well, I have absolutely no idea who Jon Ronson is (is this a Guardian reader thing? )

But out of curiousity I googled him, and found his website... you have to read the FAQ, they are bloody hilarious!

This is my favourite bit:

"can I add that I am very excited for you that Them is being turned into a movie. I am not at all jealous, and have no negative feelings about it at all.

Thank you. I know how success can sometimes instill negative feelings in others."

HedTwigg Mon 16-Jul-07 13:18:46

ahem I started thread and I find him funny

I'm sure you've been awfully funny to franny

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 13:21:13

cod has been dreaming about goats. perhaps she is really jon ronson and this is her twisted way of letting us know.

(I still don't find him funny at all except in the peculiar sense )

ruty Mon 16-Jul-07 13:22:53

Yes and I find him funny too. you always ignore me Franny. [ruty weeps in corner of playground]

mozhe Mon 16-Jul-07 13:25:57

Frannie...I LOVE JR AND find him funny....I'm trying to get him on the phone atm so I can organise a meeting,( to discuss things...you know )....we have a mutual acquaintance in common...that's all am prepared to say.....<<secretive emoticon>>

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 13:28:56

He's emailed you all to come and post on this thread, hasn't he.

ruty Mon 16-Jul-07 13:29:38

to discuss what mozhe, come on 'fess up...

WideWebWitch Mon 16-Jul-07 13:32:31

Oh HOW did I miss this? I've just got to Heston's 'are you all in institutions?' post, ha ha ha ha!

LittleLupin Mon 16-Jul-07 13:56:07
TheCodDelusion Mon 16-Jul-07 13:57:25

aithc soudns chippy amd mts roson sounds thin skinned

Quiddaitch Mon 16-Jul-07 14:46:37

rofl at cod saying i sound chippy. or hcippy or whatever it was. [chippy]

i rather like mrsr, but the weedy little prick sent an obnoxious email to my inbox and hasn't had the manners to answer my response. plus, i find myself mentioning again that said obnoxious email arrived before he even knew what i'd said.

and lol at you assembled Fans of JR, morningpaper, you said he was unmanly. i bet that stung worst of all...

ruty Mon 16-Jul-07 17:01:00

I know LL, she's a bit scary. In the nicest possible way of course [crawl]

Quiddaitch, obviously, in a bare fisted knuckle fight between you and JR, I'd be on your side, and not just because I know you'll win....

LittleLupin Mon 16-Jul-07 18:39:56

<pssst, aitch, I bet he still eats purees >

Filchymindedvixen Mon 16-Jul-07 18:57:44

How did i miss this thread?
Am sticking my hand up and joining the minority who stuck up for him on the last thread. <<waves to F&Z. And Boco. And..Oh.>>

Anyway, last thread i said
''I will also join the ranks of weirdies on here with a penchant for jon ronson and louis theroux. They fit in very well with my life-list of floppy, confused, young men I used to date who were actually not at all floppy and confused in the bedroom... ''

Does that make you feel better, Heston/Elaine?

morningpaper Mon 16-Jul-07 19:46:09

Yes and I said:
"he would be nice on the end of a key ring
you could press his head and he would say something funny"
which is DEEPLY complimentary, I'm sure you will agree??!

scampadoodle Mon 16-Jul-07 20:02:30

Quiddaitch - sorry, haven't been able to log on for a bit.
What was WL like? Well, I was the transitional girlfriend, between the neurotic one he wrote his IoS columns about, & the neurotic one I introduced him to & whom he started seeing while we were still an item (bitter? me? nooooo! No really, I was a bit pissed off at the time as I felt foolish, you know?) Anyway, he was very funny - we had eachother in fits a lot of the time - very clever (although he over-intellectualises EVERYthing) and he has beautiful hands - which you wouldn't think from looking at him generally. He was food-combining when I knew him, though I never realised he had such a complex about food & his weight. This was years ago, by the way, early '90s.

Filchymindedvixen Mon 16-Jul-07 20:03:16

MP - I'd buy one

scampadoodle Mon 16-Jul-07 20:06:57

Oh, & I can't STAND Zoe Williams. Well, her style of writing, anyway, (not as a person, obviously, as I've never met her) even when she's written a feature as opposed to a column. It's like she wants to show off how clever she is, but still be with the cool kids in the class, so she does it in a matey "no, really, I'm a bit thick, honest" sort of way.

Quiddaitch Mon 16-Jul-07 20:22:31

i do quite fancy William Leith, always have. i heard ZW on woman's hour banging on abut how awful it is being pregnant and how she needed a drink so the new govt guidelines are evil, so i think we can safely say that there will be a slew of Williams' 'oooh gawd well i never, here's what it's like to have a baybee' pieces. <prepares to open vein>

morningpaper Mon 16-Jul-07 20:24:51

lol yes @ baby pieces

very true

Pruners Mon 16-Jul-07 20:30:01

Message withdrawn

morningpaper Mon 16-Jul-07 20:31:45

ha yes

She thinks she needs a drink NOW...

ruty Mon 16-Jul-07 21:36:02

on introspective neurotic navel gazing...
I really like Ariel Leve too.

Quiddaitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:01:57

do you? wow. why does everyone like the whingers so much? [baffled]

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:07:14

This is so unfair. I missed this thread. Why could jr not have googled himself and found the post where i said how much i like him, i've always liked him for years and years, he's great. So why couldn't he have seen my gushing praise and emailed ME instead, saying thank you for being so nice about me. I've put my email address on here loads of times. It is not fair.

But no, he emails aitch to complain. It's just not fair, it really isn't.

Elaine don't hate us all, some of us think your husband is very funny. Come back!

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 22:11:09

I see JR has emailed the rest of his fan club

Pruners Mon 16-Jul-07 22:12:26

Message withdrawn

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 22:15:54

(Just kidding Pruners/i - since he emailed Aitch because he didn't like what she said, I am pretending to infer that he has been scanning MN to find out who does like him and has emailed them begging them to post in his favour)

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:16:52

because, boco, as a whiny neurotic he can't see a compliment when it's square in his face but the mindless 'thank fuck the children are in bed' chit-chattery on an MN thread you've never seen torments you to a point beyond reason.

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:17:25

Oh i wish that was true wendy, if he emailed me to ask me to post in his favour i would gladly oblige. I have no major pride issues.

But he didn't.

He should.

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:19:29

he didn't KNOW what i said!!!

he was responding to the fact that his friend (some friend) told him that there had been a thread on here and that i had been involved, that's all. plus i recently bought a flipping parasol off bethandherbrood so my email address was on here. bloody weirdy stalker.

which reminds me, must post cheque to bandherbrood.

hoxtonchick Mon 16-Jul-07 22:24:12

jr's column in the guardian is so not funny.

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 22:26:01

<joins hands with Boco, singing>

Jon Ronson is our friend, he's blowing in the wind, Jon Ronson is blowing in the wind

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:26:25

hahaha, Aitch i just thought, this is the second time a wife has come to tell you off for picking on their man isn't it? That blogger person who was writing a kind of pg diary, didn't his wife come on to mn to tell you off for being a meany about her boyfriend? Maybe you have a skill at touching some protective spousal nerve.

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:28:19

<<holds up lighter and continues with singing>>

Yeah, like, whatever hoxtonchick, jon ronsons column is like VERY funny, actually. So.. yeah.

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 22:29:02

JON RONSON IS THE MARMITE OF THE GUARDIAN

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:31:37

again, that was NOT ME. i was present, yes, but not the main transgressor. <racks brain to think who it was... twig, maybe?>

and for the record you should read this thread up to the point that MrsR came on and started ticking people off. my name's not on the page, i wasn't involved AT ALL, lol.

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:34:33

those of you who like him... does the fact that he can't tolerate criticism not make you cringe?

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 22:35:47

We LIKE cringing

we find comedy cringing very appealing

my god if you can't stand a bit cringing then STAY AWAY FROM THE MAN RONSON

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:37:37

But that is the skill of possessing the Spousal Protection Activating Nerve Generator.

Or SPANG as it's also known. You don't have to actually say anything, but someones mate can pass on potential insults, or you could just be hanging around on the wrong threads - either way, both those wives were after you.

You utter spanger.

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:41:02

Yes I like a bit of cringing - i can understand it, i've cringed for years, i feel safe around the cringe, it's familiar. Makes me feel less freaky.

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 22:43:10

That's it. If he can be such a tit perhaps there is hope for the rest of us.

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:43:18

no no no... it's not comedy cringing, franny. it's a serious question.

i've always assumed that the whiny neurotic arsehole thing was a persona, that he assumed the role for his writing and played along. as i said on the Gay Chicken thread, it's not an act that i find amusing. which is my right, or so i thought. i'm still allowed to buy the guardian, i think, and i'm also allowed to skim his pieces, snort at how much of a slimy irritating prick he is and then move onto something more interesting. he really shouldn't care, he gets paid either way.

so have you, otoh, always assumed that he really, truly is the over-analytical twerp that he writes about, and that therefore stalking people online and writing obnoxiously passive-aggressive emails to them is in keeping with his character? and you like this?

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 22:44:07

<fingers in ears>

la la la

Jon Ronson v funny man

la la la

WendyWeber Mon 16-Jul-07 22:45:18

I wish Jeremy Hardy still had his column

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:45:44

please answer the question, frank. i am dead interested.

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:46:37

oooh i loved that jeremy hardy column. although he is tiny, absolutely pocket-sized.

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 22:49:12

erm

well

I suppose yes, I did sort of think he really was like that. I mean he looks like that and he sounds like that. And if it was just a persona he would have got pretty fricking bored of it by now don't you think?

and he was definitely definitely like that in his tv thing. And I don't think he is a fantastic comedy actor. And yes, I do find it terribly, awfully funny. In a sort of painful and sometimes unwelcome way. I think I am a lot like him only I rein it in a bit. Perhaps MP and Boco are too and we laugh out of recognition and a sense of sheer relief that it wasn't us this time?

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:51:11

wow. <backs away from fraeks>

FirenzeandZooey Mon 16-Jul-07 22:52:00

yup

well, you did ask

butterbeer Mon 16-Jul-07 22:54:00

Is Jeremy Hardy tiny? [quick adjustment of mental image]

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 22:55:29

<still backing away>

<shouts>

yes, tiny. smaller than iggy pop.

<fades to frightened dot in distance>

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:55:36

Well i've always just assumed that's its an exaggeration based on real life reactions. I've never thought too deeply about it, it's not too deep, i find his writing quite an amusing view of life, i like the way he relates to people generally (not in real life - don't know about that) - liked his documentaries, like his approach to things - i don't find it all overy neurotic and whiny - THEM etc was interesting, he's made me laugh many times over the years.

I think that writing to you was odd. Was the person who told him you'd been dissing him a mutual friend? I do find it strange that he'd be so offended when he doesn't actually know what you said.

BocoBeak Mon 16-Jul-07 22:56:29

ooh jeremy hardy was doing stand up at the festival i just went to. Very rude about suffolk people. Could have squashed him with my pincer grip.

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 23:01:55

<returns> [relieved to see boco not insane]

nope, not a mutual friend.

he got my email off here, it's my babyledweaning.com address he used.

he acknowedged that he didn't know what i'd said and then went on to lecture me about my 'behaviour'. fucking wanker.

Pruners Mon 16-Jul-07 23:02:13

Message withdrawn

butterbeer Mon 16-Jul-07 23:04:13

[new mental image is now of Aitch standing JH and IP back-to-back so she can check which is shorter. Which probably isn't right either but is midly entertaining after consuming beer]

ruty Mon 16-Jul-07 23:33:27

Blimey Franny you really are ignoring me. Now I'm worried. [This is the downside of being a whiny neurotic introspective navel gazer.]

Aitch Mon 16-Jul-07 23:54:29

don't like ariel leve either, ruty... she's a half page of chore.

ruty Mon 16-Jul-07 23:57:44

It is probably just recognition in my case Aitch.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 00:05:56

bo no NO! i will not accept this. you, franny, boco... all clever, funny and talented women. so much more to you than the contents of your navels.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 08:04:58

[ruty picks out fluff contentedly]

FirenzeandZooey Tue 17-Jul-07 08:31:33

<ignores Ruty>



sorry Ruty, really nothing deliberate at all

I tend to have much less time to MN these days and so practise hit and run posting, probably missing half the people who have said things to me

Aitch I agree with Boco. An exaggeration based on real life reactions. I could write selectively about my life and make myself sound just as mad, without lying, very easily. I actually think half of what he says he does is quite NORMAL, just that most of us would lie about it

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 08:33:43

[ruty draws big sigh of relief and is momentarily released from frantic MumsNet paranoia]

FirenzeandZooey Tue 17-Jul-07 08:34:01

truly sorry!

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 08:43:58

faustina Tue 17-Jul-07 09:22:56

..adding my name to seemingly small list of people who like jon ronson - his column makes me laugh. Also he was really really kind to us once when my children emailed him because they'd missed his programmes and he lent us his copies and then had the courtesy to answer their thankyou emails. So - definitely not a bad person in our house

Aitch, I will answer your question, although I have already in a way with my obsessive posting on this thread.

I really liked Jon Ronson. I thought he was funny and clever. I now think he's unhinged.

If he wants to make a living making his inner thoughts public then he really can't complain when some people don't find those inner thoughts very edifying or interesting.

As his product is himself some of his readers will decide they don't like his thoughts and therefore they don't like him. What did he expect? Everyone in the entire world would fall in love with him?

His self-obsession now seems more arrogant than endearing. But then:

"Journalist becomes solipsistic - shock".

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 09:50:22

good to meet someone sane on this thread, mandj.

MyEye Tue 17-Jul-07 09:58:41

love ya, Jon.
but then, Aitch lost me with this post:
'i do quite fancy William Leith, always have'

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 10:04:05

i know . it's my secret shame. he wrote a thing about the coolest stereos having fewer knobs about fifteen years ago which not only made me laugh but showed a technological prescience that i admire. plus he's kinda manly for a writer. or at least hairy, which amounts to the same thing. although v poor treatment of the delightful scampadoodle. however the dieting business did make me think less of him, i admit. i like a bit of bulk.

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 10:05:22

did he really write 'your behaviour' aitch?

I never want to know anything about writers or musicians that i like, it's always disappointing and spoils my enjoyment, - i'd never read autobiographies or celebrity magazines - don't really want to read interviews with favourite musicians either, it's a let down if you find out that they're a bit prattish or dull or not too bright.

I like reading Jon Ronsons stuff, he's good at it, it's funny, i relate to it - i'm not all about the navel, but i certainly feel a large part of my life is spent cringing and its comforting to read, makes me laugh - and laugh at myself. I don't actually want to form an opinion of the actual JOn ronson because it doesn't matter.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 10:06:05

I loved Mil Millington's gadget column thingy in the weekend. What happened to that? Twas very funny.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 10:09:48

i love mil millington, apart from the hair. [circular]
and yes, boco, i got a lecture about my behaviour from the patronising twerp.

FirenzeandZooey Tue 17-Jul-07 10:43:24

LOL @ Mil Millington

[on magic roundabout emoticon]

Aitch it makes perfect sense to me that he emailed you to whine about you writing mean things. This is the kind of thing he writes about doing, all the time. Did you all think he made it all up?

WendyWeber Tue 17-Jul-07 10:51:13

Is he going to make a column out of this?

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 11:08:11

well, it would be excessively hypocritical of him to do so because no doubt i and other detractors would come out in an unfavourable light.

so considering he took such offence at me and you saying what we thought of him online in front of a few MNers, i rather doubt he'd be able to square ridiculing me/us in a national newspaper with his conscience, would he?

oh hang on... that's what he does every week, so i actually think that the creepy little fuck will be fine with it. at least he doesn't talk about wealthy celebrities though, because that, i can see, is Really Bad.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 11:11:06

yes, franny, i really didn't think he could possibly be such a twat in RL.

MyEye Tue 17-Jul-07 11:37:13

aitch, I think you are wrong, he doesn't ridicule other people: he ridicules himself. He always comes out of his column 'badly'. That's why I like it. He is useless, hopeless, inept, he does the stuff you shouldn't do, he can't help himself.
[waves at Jon Ronson]

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 11:44:26

hhhm, i think if you were his neighbours you might not agree.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 11:45:06

but i'm sure JR would agree with you, however.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 11:49:11

don't you think he might be tossing and turning at night bitterly regretting emailing you in a fit of pique?

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 11:51:01

no. judging from the email his monumental sense of self-righteousness will be soothing him gently off to sleep.

MyEye Tue 17-Jul-07 11:54:05

Nope, point taken, he does poke fun at other people. A wooden-spoon sort of poke.

when poking fun at himself he uses a bayonet

am loving him more the more I think about his comedy genius

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 12:02:21

seriously now, a self-administered bayonet will onl poke at the bits he's happy to poke at. if i were his neighbour i wouldn't want him writing about me at all, wooden spoon or not. but he doesn't give them that option.

amazing, really, given that he couldn't bear to think taht a complete stranger might have said something about him on the internet somewhere, so much so that he hunted out an address for them and and emailed them to whinge at them directly. yet anyone who comes into contact with him (and isn't famous) is fair game.

bundle Tue 17-Jul-07 12:03:18

it's a bit like when i first heard nigel slater, but i'm strangely drawn to jon ronson's voice

oliveoil Tue 17-Jul-07 12:04:37

who is Jon Ronson

is he related to Mark Ronson (music man extraordinaire)

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 12:06:50

he's the upfront columnist in teh guardian saturday mag. except he's not up front. he's downright weaselly. google him, he's got his own site. and a forum filled with adoring fans.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 12:11:28

Mark Ronson is a New Yorker...

laundrylover Tue 17-Jul-07 12:34:34

This thread is making me lose money as am not doing any work!

Heston, do come back and play with us no-names. I am undecided on JR but do read his column...enjoy Lucy Mangan tho.

Sadly the Weekend and Family section is about all I get through in a week. Yes, I know Heston I shoud spend less time on MN.

scampadoodle Tue 17-Jul-07 13:15:05

Yes, Aitch, WL is (or was - haven't seen him for aeons) both bulky AND hairy (not so dissimilar to DH in those respects...hmmm...). And, like JR, he is neurotic as hell - you should have heard his reasons for not driving a car: hugely complicated scenarios inevitably concluding in his being tarmac jam - BUT not neurotic in a whingey way.

JR's fateful mistake was to send you that email. He should just have thought "oh, FFS," & left it alone. Especially if we're all as weird as his wife & the Guardian forum seem to think we are...

Anyway, regarding fancying weird people in the media, in the late '80s I worked at the Daily Mirror & thought Alistair Campbell was a bit of a dish - & I wasn't alone

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 13:17:57

Qutie enjoyed Lucy Mangan's last column on the 'Britishness' of our schools. But usually she is so chock full of over the top metaphors and her own superciliousness that i find her a bit annoying.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 13:23:26

i tend to tire of her after the third par. too many words.

A Campbell is a bona fide dish, but a horrifying creature all the same. was pmsl when rory bremner said that he'd nobbled him at a press launch to point out he'd lost weight and that the fat guy playing him on the show would have to go.

coddy Tue 17-Jul-07 13:23:50

did oyu not see my thread?

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 13:27:26

what thread? by the way, have you got nearermycodtothee? i've aways thought that would be a good name.

scampadoodle Tue 17-Jul-07 13:28:51

An AC thread, Coddy?

Aitch - tell me who else you fancy. I always thought my strange taste in men was unique.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 13:28:55

found it. pmsl at catnip 'i nearly died'. ROFL

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 13:30:19

I think CodForYourOwnBack is good too.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 13:30:54

i don't actually fancy too many... but i'm currently trying to arrange a meeting with Ray Stevenson, titus pullo on Rome. he's working on a friend's film. i saw him once on our street and, to quote catnip, 'i nearly died'. the biggest hunk of man you ever did see. just absolutely PERFECT.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 13:31:27

oh yes codforownback is good.

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 13:32:59

So aitch it sounds like you like a mans man burly surly hairy types? Rugby? Bit alpha?

scampadoodle Tue 17-Jul-07 13:34:39

Oh, post a link...Every time I do a search I lose the will to live...

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 13:36:06

not rugby, no. it's brains i like by and large. and a bit of fierce. but i will make an exception for ray stevenson because he's dreamy.

scampadoodle Tue 17-Jul-07 13:37:26

Ah, & there we part company, Aitch. A beautiful friendship cruelly nipped in the bud. Ray Stevenson is such a crap actor. (Do you think he'll send me a whingey email? I think NOT

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 13:41:12

He is gorgeous. Slightly wooden [except while faking rampant sex] but gorgeous. But Titus Pullo suits him so much better than Ray Stevenson. [disappointed emoticon]

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 13:41:44

http://www.hbo.com/rome/img/episode/ep15/ep15_07.jpg

actually, do you think he's crap? goodness, i hadn't noticed. he just looks so handsome on a horse. lol at the fact that i've never even considered whether or not he can act.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 13:46:18

i imagine he has a huge wanger. [and Ray too.] That was really coarse and not at all intellectual wasn't it? sorry.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 13:57:40

he's with my old agent!

Sadly, AC is widely accepted to be lush, including by himself. This makes him entirely unlush in my opinion. He might even give JR a run for his money as self-obsessed nana of the week.

However this: "So aitch it sounds like you like a mans man burly surly hairy types? Rugby? Bit alpha?" is surely a classic description of Gordon Brown...

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 14:25:14

erm i do quite like him. he seems very decent and clever. although wierdly shy when i met him a zillion years ago.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 14:27:00

anyway, we know you're still reading this thread elaine, why don't you come back and play with us on MN? i'm sure you'll like it, really.

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 14:53:27

Are you scary in real life Aitch?

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 14:56:50

nah, not at all. very friendly in fact. straight up.

scampadoodle Tue 17-Jul-07 15:18:17

Oh, personality-wise AC would not suit me at all as he's one of those driven, marathon-running types. & his partner is very sporty too. Whereas I am....not. To put it mildly.
AC isn't my usual type TBH, but when you see him in the flesh he just has 'it'. Or did.

My other type is yer be-spectacled intellectual arthur miller sortathing. I can absolutely see why Marilyn went for him...

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 15:38:44

AM looks like he'd be a selfish bastard. see also philip roth.

bossykate Tue 17-Jul-07 15:40:32

Sadly, AC is widely accepted to be lush, including by himself.

I read this as "Sadly, AC is widely accepted to be a lush, including by himself..."

hoxtonchick Tue 17-Jul-07 15:40:41

mmm, nice bloke on horse aitch .

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 15:44:21

isn't he? apparently he's a shit actor but i can't honestly say i'd noticed.

charliegal Tue 17-Jul-07 15:44:33

I know him (JR). He's nice.

hoxtonchick Tue 17-Jul-07 15:46:21

so not bothered by bad acting......

WideWebWitch Tue 17-Jul-07 15:46:37

Bk, I think AC doesn't drink, I think he's in AA (but could be wrong)

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 15:47:25

so perhaps you have some insight into why he would start emailing people he doesn't know about criticism he's never seen? <waits with bated breath>

charliegal Tue 17-Jul-07 15:48:52

low self esteem?

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 15:52:39

Please could you tell him that he can email me about my behaviour if he likes because i've said lots of very nice things about him because i like his writing alot.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 15:54:47

lol! he's got a good enough self-esteem to have his own website, forum, blog, books, documentary and column in the national press...
maybe you're right, though. which rather reminds me why i've disliked his writing for the past couple of decades. a compulsive self-promoter with low self esteem who can't handle being questioned... such a cliche.

charliegal Tue 17-Jul-07 15:55:23

Should say don't know him as a friend, but have worked with him a few times. I liked him and I think he's funny.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 15:59:44

well, i have recently found out that a friend of mine worked with both him and his wife and he says that both are nice but he is utterly at a loss to explain why either would have contacted me or posted on MN. he proposed cocaine abuse as one possible explanation.

WideWebWitch Tue 17-Jul-07 16:04:24

Just checked, yes AC used to drink, no idea if he does AA or not but hoe doesn't drink now May post this picture of him on the hot and sweaty AC thread. Can you imagine him berating you for something he hadn't read? I think not!

charliegal Tue 17-Jul-07 16:11:02

lol, it is strange. definitely not cocaine abuse though!

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 16:12:41

i wouldn't mind if it was AC, tbh. it's just that JR is so uterly wet and a weed... chizz.

WWW I think AC is a prime example of exactly the sort of paranoid egomaniac who would berate you for something he hadn't read.

He's definitely in the "if you haven't said you love me then you must hate me and I can't stand that so I will destroy you" camp! Just remembering his appearing unannounced on Channel 4 News to wag his finger at Jon Snow and shout about how he was misunderstood...Messianic delusions of control and importance there I thought.

WideWebWitch Tue 17-Jul-07 16:46:40

Yes I suppose so M&J, you have a point. I suppose the thing is with AC, I wouldn't mind <pathetic emoticon>

Gee72 Tue 17-Jul-07 17:41:14

I was greatly enjoying this thread until it descended into 'thinking womens crumpet'.

Anyway I'm (generally) with the Ronson appreciation club. 'Them' was great and he's a standard bearer for Beta males the world over! Oh, and he does derive most of the humour in his columns by making himself look bad.

Also Aitch, he had a thread in his columns detailing his enmity with Patrick Marber, so he doesn't solely restrict his attntions to the neighbours. Still crap to send you a mail but it must be hard to resist rising to the bait - look how many threads on here descend into vitriol.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 17:43:52

AC is dead behind the eyes. [shudder] I don't know what you lot are on.

Gee72 Tue 17-Jul-07 17:43:55

Where did that apostrophe go?

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 20:03:29

what bait? he's a prick. he hadn't seen the thread. even someone as self-obsessed as JR should think '...probably best to wait until i've actually seen what's been written before i rise to that bait wot i have not yet seen'.

i honestly can't believe that you JR fans aren't seeing that as the most salient point. he sent an email and hadn't seen a thing. he's the big journalist, i'm a complete stranger. he is a bully and a wanker of the highest order. and i'd be happy to say that to his simpering gurly face.

FirenzeandZooey Tue 17-Jul-07 20:05:48

Aitch at least JR has stopped going on about it now

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 20:07:54

ahem, i am merely responding to what is being posted, frances. i await a response from the cowardly wanker to this day.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 20:09:15

i'd far rather be talking about the excellent actor ray stevenson who is most talented and not at all wooden, as i think has been amply demonstrated... but if people are goiing to talk about bait i must respond.

FirenzeandZooey Tue 17-Jul-07 20:11:32

<sigh>

yes

I assume your school reports said encouraging things about tenacity

Gee72, now I'm really confused. I hate Patrick Marber (that TERRIBLE film, what was it called, with Clive Owen, Jude Law and Natalie Portman - oh you know, complete middle class wankfest...). JR hates Patrick Marber. So I should love JR. Yes? No? Help!

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 20:44:16

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Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 20:45:02

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Pruners really????

"when did you stop loving me?"
"about ten minutes ago"

and similar nonsense dialogue on and on for two hours of misery. Is honestly in my top ten worst films (along with Eyes Wide Shut).

In JR stylee, I have also decided that Notes on a Scandal is a terrible film which is an insult to the original novel - without ever having seen the film . I have worked myself into a right old fury about it, purely on the basis of articles I have read about the film in the Sunday papers. I think that is what they call post-modern .

morningpaper Tue 17-Jul-07 21:03:01

mmm I agree with Franny

I think his neurosis is quite normal

I read it and think "OMG THAT IS ME"

I have been known, for example, to Put My Foot In It

But maybe I am terribly self-obsessed <strokes beard>

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 21:37:26

OMG that Patrick Marber film is the worst thing i have ever seen. I couldn't look directly at the screen, it burnt my eyeballs with its wankishness. And clive owen is a very handsome man, but he CANNOT and DOES not do anything that resembles acting. Ever.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 21:44:45

the play Closer was terribly nineties - style over substance and ego over anything. Haven't seen the film.

hoxtonchick Tue 17-Jul-07 21:46:09

the play was a lot better than the film.... <swoon> at clive owen in both.

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 21:46:37

The film was really obviously a play, but shot like a film, so unbearable and pretentious and stilted. I'd say pretty unwatchable.

morningpaper Tue 17-Jul-07 21:46:55

I really liked the play

But I DID see it in the nineties

I thought it was terribly uncomfortable and all the couples in the audience looked terrified

Tatties Tue 17-Jul-07 21:47:11

Ooh FMV, Louis Theroux, now you're talking

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 21:47:35

Clove Iron is a handsome man, there's no doubt, but how can you be attracted by someone who is so bad at what he does? Puts me off because i feel bad for him, and I worry that he made the wrong choice somewhere.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 21:51:09

Clive Owen AKA potato face is good looking?


Theatre in the nineties was overall pretty depressing IIRC, especially by men.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 21:51:43

LOL Boco he is so wooden but I didn't want to be too rude.

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 21:59:58

Its not too rude, it's a simple fact. Clive owen is handsome but he has a very 80s face. Like those kemp boys.

Snaf Tue 17-Jul-07 22:00:39

Knickers - cannot believe I missed this thread.

Sadly, I have nothing useful or amusing to contribute, so I'll just say:

W Leith <<swoon>>

P Marber <<double swoon>>

Shameful, non?

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:04:26

agree about clive owen beign eighties but he was in a thing about shagging his sister with saskia reeves in which he is unbelievably sexy and young and lush. apart from that, though... chancer was rubbish and he does look like a kemp.

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:06:49

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Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:07:39

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Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:09:26

<closes eyes> oooh, yes... that's the one. alan rickman chewing the scenery and, er, clive owen chewing saskia reeves.

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 22:10:12

I wish i'd closed my eyes Pruners i really do.

hoxtonchick Tue 17-Jul-07 22:10:45

ooooh yes, alan rickman too. this thread is really rather fine .

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:12:02

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Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:12:19

he's awful, isn't he? but there is something in his drawl, even as the blooming sheriff of nottingham. <brings subject back to k costner somehow>

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:13:32

i just think he's one-note, that's all pruni. but it was preeeeeecisely the right note for Close My Eyes. didn't liek children of god... silly.

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 22:14:13

Alan Rickman is very good in every way though.

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:15:02

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Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:15:55

oooh really? <awaits further explanation>

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Tue 17-Jul-07 22:16:30

Ooh is scampdoodle still here? I know WL too (although not in the sense that you, er, "knew" him) Mmm, lovely hands

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 22:16:50

It is just his style Pruni, it is a wooden style that is all.
He was quite good in Close My Eyes. So was Saskia. Very sexy film. But downhill from there IMO. I saw him at the Donmar in Design For Living - he was actually better than on screen.

Julia Roberts was very good in Erin Brockovitch.

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:18:28

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Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:20:00

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BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 22:27:30

But you can see his eyes moving slowly across the autocue as he droningly reads the script.

William Leith? - what are you lot on about? Do you really think he's sexy? He's all pungey and curly, i don't understand.

Disappointed about AR, that's what i was saying about not wanting to know anything about famous people i like - always a let down.

Do you think anymore angry wives will come yell at us for being institutionalised bitches? Oh Elaine, don't be cross, i love jon. Not in a sexual way.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:31:08

that's probably why he was good in Close My Eyes, no long passages of script, just 'i must have you NOW' and some rough manhandling of his big sister.

Snaf Tue 17-Jul-07 22:33:46

The Leith-love is slightly weird, I admit. But I do like intense, over-intellectualising men with beautiful hands (cf. scampadoodle ).

Plus, he came into my bookshop once and sort of swept through Hardback Fiction in a long black coat and I just thought 'mmmm, dreamy...'

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:34:28

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Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:35:42

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ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 22:36:36

i know what happened to her but I can't tell.
Oh, ok, my dh worked with her in Prague in a dodgy HBO thing. she was very nice by all acounts, but there are some things I can't say which are quite funny. Sorry.

Snaf Tue 17-Jul-07 22:37:36

He's tall, as well, iirc. Although I may have been crouching at the time.

(Wonders whether it's strange to be openly lusting after another MNer's ex?)

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 22:37:55

Re AR - I think there are quite a few 'older' male actors who can do the equivalent of a prima donna thing to make their authority felt. He is a good actor though [find the voice a little bit irritating]

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 22:39:15

LOL at Richard Chamberlain. ah Thornbirds. the first awakening of something fluttery in the belly...[if you look at it now it looks so terrible.]

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:42:07

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Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:43:14

me too, ruty and pruni. it's hard to beleive now but i thought he was amazing. and bryan brown in some australian mini-series about people on boats i think... what was that called? <goes off to google>

Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:43:54

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Pruners Tue 17-Jul-07 22:44:42

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Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 22:50:01

actually, Bryan Brown wasn't in the one i was thinking of. All The Rivers Run, it was called. i'm getting confused with 'Against the wind'...
does anyone remember either of them? i love an aussie mini series. ch4 daytime simmer holidays... brilliant.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Tue 17-Jul-07 22:51:01

Snaf - he is tall. And generally big & hairy.

If it makes you feel any better, I got drunk & told him I had a crush on him. What a prat

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 23:08:06

My first pre-pubescent crush was on Nigel Havers. And Cagney of Cagney and Lacey.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 23:09:32

I know Pruni, it is not the best thread to reveal our identities too much is it?

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 23:10:22

no to nigel, yes to christine. in a cowl-neck eating a hot dog, i thought that was glamour personified.

scampadoodle Tue 17-Jul-07 23:10:35

Oh don't worry snaf, he's not a 'big' ex. i would hesitate even to use the word boyfriend. I have very fond memories though, & would love to bump into him again, to catch up. Can't believe he's a dad...

Moist (or should that be Septimus) how do you know him?

[For some reason have just remembered a New Year's Eve we spent together with another couple in a cottage in Cornwall. We got lost in boyfriend's-head-banging-on-the-roof-of-the-car-country & when we finally got there I got so drunk that I vomited out of the window in the middle of the night. Said vomit was discovered on the roof of the shed the next morning.]

I'm off to bed now, nighty-night.

ruty Tue 17-Jul-07 23:10:35

[but what great gossip we'd have had if you'd stayed in N Oxford...]

Oh my god - Close My Eyes. It's all come back to me now. All incest and the Docklands Light Railway! And no, Clive Owen cannot act. Or at least he can only act in the same way Matthew McFadyenn can act, ie monotone with brow furrowed

As for the Thorn Birds, definitely an early inspiration. Oh, have just realised. My daughter is known as Meggie (not her real name but what she is known as iykwim). I have named my child after the Thorn Birds and I never realised. I don't know what to think of myself.

harpsichordcuddler Tue 17-Jul-07 23:15:21

I really liked CLoser (the play) as well, but I did see it in the 90s and it all seemed so relevant and edgy

BocoBeak Tue 17-Jul-07 23:15:46

The nigel crush was gone by the time i was an adult, not sure why i loved him so much. It was when he was in that programme about him and his dad both being doctor batchelors. Also fancied tom conte when i was about 13 - i can't believe he ever did those dreadful car adverts that ruined any appeal he ever had.

Aitch Tue 17-Jul-07 23:25:06

with fern britton's dad! that was a hot show in those days... what was it? don't wait up.
and meggie is a lovely name. although worrying about the thorn birds.

Boco, am with you on Tom Conti but have gone off him big time since he started campaigning against the congestion charge because, you know, actors have to get home from the West End after the theatre and they are so tired from emoting all over the place that it's not fair to make them go on the tube, plus they are extra sensitive so might be in danger on public transport late at night....

My first crush: John Craven. Still sneak a little peak at Countryfile now and again just to catch up with my man.

SixKindsOfCrisis Wed 18-Jul-07 12:34:25

So, do we like the Permablog column in The Guardian? Or is it too close to the bone?

Aitch Wed 18-Jul-07 12:56:20

i like it, but i haven't read that many of them.

SixKindsOfCrisis Wed 18-Jul-07 13:04:52
ruty Wed 18-Jul-07 15:37:26

That shut us all up didn't it.

SixKindsOfCrisis Thu 19-Jul-07 10:16:11

Oh am threadkiller. Will go away.

ruty Thu 19-Jul-07 14:12:55

Are you SixKindsof Chris too? I for one am not that familiar with permablog. Don't go away!

SixKindsOfCrisis Thu 19-Jul-07 14:45:34

No, SixKindsOfChris is imaginary. Column is written by Tim Dowling -- is quite good pisstake of the cheerful inanity of chatrooms.

ruty Thu 19-Jul-07 16:32:11

Doh!

ruty Thu 19-Jul-07 16:33:13

that'll teach me not to skim read...

morningpaper Thu 19-Jul-07 20:16:01

It's REALLY well written

Sometimes it makes me pmsl

Tim Dowling must spend a LOT of time in chatrooms

Aitch Thu 19-Jul-07 22:19:54

he used to write a really good column in the daiiliy paper - does he still? <has been slowly giving up the guardian, just the sat mag left>

Aitch Thu 19-Jul-07 22:20:17

lol, something really wrong with the iiiiii on this keyboard.

ScummyMummy Fri 20-Jul-07 17:02:05

Unquietdad- that is a masterful spoof of Ronson. I can almost hear his weedy voice speaking your words in my mind's ear.

Nonicknamesleft Fri 20-Jul-07 21:42:51

Boy oh boy - haven't read a mumsnet thread from start to finish before. Genius. Thank you all for making me laugh so much.

Will have to check out vile Jon's column in the morning to see if you've written it for him, as predicted by the talented Firenzeandzooey. But the good thing about him, right, is that it takes two minutes to read and you're reassured for days that actully, you really aren't that neurotic after all! So he's doing us all a favour, surely? And as for Mrs R - well come on now.... Blind devotion would have to be necessary now, wouldn't it. Can you imagine doing that job?

BTW, Ewan Ferguson fanciers: fairly sexy byline pic in the magazine, I agree. But OMG did you see the photo in the paper the other week (with the story on the smoking ban). All I'll say is thank goodness for Photoshop, eh, Ewan. Needs to detox, big time.

Nonicknamesleft Fri 20-Jul-07 21:44:18

Oops - just spotted the typo. Can't have the grauniad witterers thinking we're all thick. Apologies for lowering the standard.

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