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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 18:37

Of course you shouldn't pay.

Perfectlypurple · 22/03/2015 18:38

Wow. I wouldn't be seeing her again. Why on earth does she think it is up to you to pay because he didn't enjoy it. I would be replying saying that and that she owes you the money.

Cabbagesaregreen · 22/03/2015 18:43

Wtf? Was she joking?

minibmw2010 · 22/03/2015 18:43

Just send her a message back and say 'really sorry he didn't enjoy it, what a shame, however I paid and you owe me £20, please pay me on your return'. Anything less and you'll have let her off with it.

MaidOfStars · 22/03/2015 18:46

She's bonkers. Is this out of character?

LaurieFairyCake · 22/03/2015 18:47

That's very rude.

Respond saying 'you need to take that up with the event organisers as obviously I shoukdnt be out of pocket paying for your son'

Chillyegg · 22/03/2015 18:47

Well thats extremely rude! Im gobsmacked at the temerity!

Discounted · 22/03/2015 18:48

Just Shock

If she felt that strongly that she shouldn't pay because he hadn't enjoyed it, she should have insisted on a refund before she left (although that too would be pushing it unless they did something avoidable that ruined his day) but how on earth can it be your responsibility to foot the bill?

I wouldn't stop DS seeing his friend but I wouldn't be spending any time with or making any effort for his mother

londonrach · 22/03/2015 18:49
Shock
Teeb · 22/03/2015 18:50

Bloody hell, she hasn't any shame does she? I'd tell her to take it up with the event organiser, in the mean time she owes you £20

Strongerthanyoucounton · 22/03/2015 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFullGammon · 22/03/2015 18:52

"I'm sorry he didn't enjoy it but you still owe me £20. If you want to claim it back afterwards from the organisers that's your call."

Struggling to keep "WTF" out of it really. So cheeky of her.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 22/03/2015 18:52

YANBU I'd definitely call her on it. She needs to pay you back and take the financial hit herself. I'd certainly not pay for anything else for her, leave her to sort out the money if she's forgotten to bring it with her.

Friends don't do that, friends offer to pay; leaving it to the payer to decide whether they want to accept the money or not.

QueenBean · 22/03/2015 18:53

Completely agree with the others - she should be paying and take it up with the event organisers

Joyfulldeathsquad · 22/03/2015 18:55

She has the cheek of ten arses.

WyldChyld · 22/03/2015 18:55

Wow, what a rude friend! I would be insisting she pay me back and tell her if she wants to take it up with said activity for a refund, that's her prerogative. I reckon that this would probably stop me helping her out etc - how rude!!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 22/03/2015 18:55

I'd reply
"Thats a shame. Are you claiming the money back from the event to reimburse me?"

morningsarepants · 22/03/2015 18:55

She's pulling a fast one there. If I was her I wouldn't dream of not paying you back.

Anniegetyourgun · 22/03/2015 18:57

Didn't have the cash with her indeed, oldest trick in the book.

Viviennemary · 22/03/2015 18:58

She's got a nerve. Of course she owes you the money. If she doesn't want to pay then she takes it up with the people organising the event. How rude.

gamerchick · 22/03/2015 18:58

Cheeky cow.. I would be done me after that. What have you replied?

squoosh · 22/03/2015 18:58

I'm going to try that line on my dentist next time I visit.

Jessica2point0 · 22/03/2015 18:59

If you lend someone £20 and never see them again it was probably worth it.

MagpieCursedTea · 22/03/2015 18:59

This is going to be one of those rare AIBU.
A unanimous YANBU. The bloody cheek of your friend!

bucketofchicken · 22/03/2015 19:00

What gave you replied?