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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 19:37

I think your husband is right.

ImperialBlether · 22/03/2015 19:38

Did your son have to go home early, too? If so, I'd say she doesn't only have to pay for her son, she should pay for yours, too!

PHANTOMnamechanger · 22/03/2015 19:38

I think in her shoes not only would I be paying you back pronto, but I would also be billing my son for the amount! FAir enough if he was taken ill and had to leave early, but he just had a strop? sounds like a spoilt entitled brat, just like his mother Grin

scribblescrabble · 22/03/2015 19:39

wow!! I would text back

'Are you really going to claim the money back for that 'event'? good for you, let me know how you get on! x ps have you got that £20.00 I lent you last 'Thursday' (day of event)

make it 2 seperate things ... good luck

PragmaticWench · 22/03/2015 19:39

Could you say something like 'Ha ha, some people really are that shockingly rude, so glad I know you're not! Cash when I next see you is fine, or I can send you my paypal details now.'

TheSingingMonkey · 22/03/2015 19:39

Wow! Cheeky cow.

You definitely need to reply OP. She owes you £20. Her sons enjoyment is irrelevant, it wasn't conditional of the ticket!

HazleNutt · 22/03/2015 19:40

So she thinks you should be funding the event for her son instead? Unless you forced them to go, or grossly misrepresented the event, I can't even understand her thinking. If you all went out to eat to a jointly chosen restaurant, would she expect you to pick up the bill, if they didn't like it?

Koalafications · 22/03/2015 19:41

"I'm sorry your DS didn't like the event, but I'm confused as to why you think this means that I should pay for him? I suggest you take your dissatisfaction up with the event organisers. As you are going away, here is my account details for you to pay the £20 I lent you to: XXX"

TheSingingMonkey · 22/03/2015 19:42

I would text her back 'your son not enjoying it isn't my problem. You owe me £20.'

PrettyFeet · 22/03/2015 19:43

OP Im a softy too, nothing wrong with that. I'm kind and generous. BUT there are people out there who take the utter piss and this is one of them.

For instance.... My son was friends with a boy a while back. I got on with his mother due to the boys liking each other. I made a fatal mistake of going away with them for a week.

It went like this...

DS's friends mum had a friend that owned a timeshare in Golden Sands Malta. They were due to go on holiday one Christmas. Her friend ducked out but said to still use that week and invite anyone she liked.

I opted to go and obviously paid for mine and DS's flights. Christmas day came and I opened the door, told the cleaners we didnt need anything and to go enjoy the day... well! I was told I had no right to do this, they were paid to replenish everything no matter what day of the year it was. I was "beholden to her because "she" took me away!

Needless to say I got on the next flight home and never ever spoke to her again.

MadgeMak · 22/03/2015 19:44

Brass neck x a million.

LIZS · 22/03/2015 19:46

Of course you shouldn't but be prepared to lose their friendship if you push it. Mind you no real friend would have put you in this position.

Furyfowler · 22/03/2015 19:47

Did you travel together?... Did you and ds have to leave early too?

She is beyond cheeky!

PrettyFeet · 22/03/2015 19:48

Would like to add that the two boys are still very good friends to this day.

PrimalLass · 22/03/2015 19:48

Ask her why you should pay.

Fingeronthebutton · 22/03/2015 19:48

I gave a 'friend' the heev ho over a fiver.
That's how the mean bastards get their money.

DoJo · 22/03/2015 19:50

That's so rude - she is effectively making you responsible for an event that she chose to take her son to. Please don't let her get away with it without at least pointing out to her how outrageous her behaviour is.

rookiemere · 22/03/2015 19:50

YANBU, what a freeloader.

But hey 20 to live and learn. I'd give up on the money, but never, ever take her son anywhere again unless you get cash upfront. Socially I'd make sure that there were kitties in place if she was going to be at the pub, or a set menu if it's a meal. I'd also slag her off behind her back to all the other Mums as they need to know what she's like in case she tries to rip them off as well.

PrettyFeet · 22/03/2015 19:51

Cracks up at Rookie.

Chunkymonkey79 · 22/03/2015 19:52

Yanbu atall. Cheeky cow needs to pay you back!

NapoleonsNose · 22/03/2015 19:52

She owes you £20. End of. What if she'd gone alone, paid herself, and her son didn't like it? She should know that kids can be fickle and change their minds about liking things. Its just something you suck up as a parent. Cheeky cow!

GoofyIsACow · 22/03/2015 19:52

Bloody hell fire! Cheeky git!

Let us know what she replies and I agree above about the text worded 'sorry he didnt enjoy but you still owe me £20 and claim it back etc etc...

FenellaFellorick · 22/03/2015 19:55

Text back and say so you expect me to be out £20 do you? No. Not happening. Give me my £20 and take it up with the place if you want to. Why should I be £20 short?

rockinrobintweet · 22/03/2015 19:56

did you sort anything OP?

Jaffakake · 22/03/2015 19:58

Yanbu up to think a little less of her & tbh I wouldn't go out if my way for her in the future & certainly wouldn't be stumping up any more money for her again. Whether I'd be bothered enough to tell her or ask for the money, I doubt. I'd probably just put it down to learning a bit more about her.
Very odd tho!

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