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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
TagineKaput · 22/03/2015 20:00

Unbelievably cheeky, please text her again OP, it's not your fault or problem that her son didn't enjoy himself.

ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 20:02

She can't claim it back from the venue if she didn't pay in the first place.
If she doesn't pay you back I'd tell everyone you know what she's done.

ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 20:03

And why text? Why not get on the phone and tell her?

ChrisMooseAlbanians · 22/03/2015 20:05

Get tough. She is a cheeky hint!

edwinbear · 22/03/2015 20:06

Of course YANBU text her back saying 'sorry he didn't enjoy it, but why do you think that means i should pay twice'?

Fauxlivia · 22/03/2015 20:07

She was massively out of order to turn up in the first place without any money. What if you'd not had an extra 20 to pay for her son.

She is a chancer and not a friend. Friends just don't behave like this.

TRexingInAsda · 22/03/2015 20:07

Text her back along the lines of "You still owe me the £20 because I lent it to you, so you have to pay me back - ask the place for a refund if you want, but I'm not paying for it out of my own pocket."

expatinscotland · 22/03/2015 20:09

'But my husband is outraged and wants me to be tough?'

I am with your H. What a cheeky bitch!

Good chance to teach your son not to be treated like crap by people.

'Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? '

Yeah, it is. And you need to think of what a bitch she is.

cashewnutty · 22/03/2015 20:10

What a cheeky cow. I am outraged on your behalf!

ClashCityRocker · 22/03/2015 20:14

What a twunt.

Get her told...you know she's taking the piss, dh knows she's taking the piss and SHE knows she's taking the piss.

I can't think of any circumstances that anyone sane would think this is acceptable, ever.

StayingSamVimesGirl · 22/03/2015 20:15

I would send her a text saying:

"It is not fair to expect me to be £20 out of pocket, regardless of whether your son enjoyed the activity or not. You need to pay me the £20, and claim it back from the organisers. I cannot afford to carry freeloaders!!"

AuntyBrenda · 22/03/2015 20:22

Cheeky mare!!!

Starlightbright1 · 22/03/2015 20:24

I really hope she reads this thread any maybe realises how unreasonable she is been but I somehow doubt it.

I have a feeling if you start talking to others in the group there may be similar stories

MrsTedCrilly · 22/03/2015 20:26

I'm just Shock The cheek of some people!

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 20:46

Thanks everyone for all your replies! I decided to toughen up and text back 'I agree it might be worth getting in touch with the company and asking for a refund from them! Just been trying to work out when we'll cross paths next as could do with getting the £20 back from you- but Itll probably be easier for you to just send it online?'

Husband still thinks it was too soft but I don't want it to be awkward when I see her if I can avoid it...I'm still waiting for a reply!

OP posts:
worridmum · 22/03/2015 20:49

be firm give her a deadline for it to be paid (be careful of paypay as she can put a depute on the payment that will mess up your entire account / any account at the registered address

Alisvolatpropiis · 22/03/2015 20:57

I am stunned at how cheeky this woman is!

expatinscotland · 22/03/2015 21:00

I would not hesitate to tell her how disappointingly rude she is if she still tries to weasel out of paying, and how used and taken advantage you feel as you paid for her child in good faith that it would be repaid and it's a pity she values a freebie more than friendship.

Furyfowler · 22/03/2015 21:02

I'd have sent a similar sort or text op. But inside I'd be kicking myself for not being tougher!

TheFullGammon · 22/03/2015 21:03

Good luck OP, let us know how shegets on. Expat's wording sounds excellent for Round 2.

TheFullGammon · 22/03/2015 21:04

Ugh, * how you get on

Sorry

CrapBag · 22/03/2015 21:08

Fucking hell!

That is some brass neck she has. So what if her son threw a hiss fit and refused to join in, that does not mean she doesn't get to pay you back.

She knew what she was doing from the beginning. Why would she have turned up to an event without the money? Presumably she knew it wasn't free?

waithorse · 22/03/2015 21:13

What a lovely person she sounds. Hmm

biggles50 · 22/03/2015 21:14

That's awful, very rude of her. It might turn into one of those horrid situations when you have a big falling out and need to avoid her for ever over 20 quid. I'd text her, hi Fred, has there been a misunderstanding? Just that I paid 40 quid yesterday for both boys. see what she says, very shabby.

CaptainTripps · 22/03/2015 21:17

Disappointingly weak, OP (ref your answer). You'll need to toughen up if you want your money back!

Just been trying to work out when we'll cross paths next as could do with getting the £20 back from you- but Itll probably be easier for you to just send it online?'

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